Most pointless job going?
Discussion
http://jobs.guardian.co.uk/job/809372/area-co-ordi...
What will this person actually fill his working week with?
What will this person actually fill his working week with?
deeps said:
My god, I wish I never saw this thread now, you've upset me! Government jobs and how to piss money away for nothing.
Most pointless Job: The perosn at the front of the queue at the Airport "UK Border" who points you in the direction of the next border officer that is free. FFS! As if we can't work it out for ourselves!WE pay for these people.
Thanks Gordon..
Guess this is similar to the one mentioned above.
Our NHS Trust recently advertised for a Smoking Cessation Advisor. £29k for giving out gum and sticking plasters. However in small print at the bottom it said you had to report to the Smoking Cessation Manager..... I'm guessing how your six month review would go.
"Have you given out the gum?"
"Yes,"
"Have you given out the sticking plasters?"
"Yep,"
"Have you given out the leafets?"
"Nnnnn.......Yep,"
"Have you given out the free DVDs?"
"Oh yes,"
"Have you told people to stop putting cigarettes in their mouths and setting fire to them?"
"for sure,"
"Well good job Toad, keep it up,"
As the manager how much do you think he might be on? Its got to be £40k shirley?
Your taxes folks, your taxes....
Our NHS Trust recently advertised for a Smoking Cessation Advisor. £29k for giving out gum and sticking plasters. However in small print at the bottom it said you had to report to the Smoking Cessation Manager..... I'm guessing how your six month review would go.
"Have you given out the gum?"
"Yes,"
"Have you given out the sticking plasters?"
"Yep,"
"Have you given out the leafets?"
"Nnnnn.......Yep,"
"Have you given out the free DVDs?"
"Oh yes,"
"Have you told people to stop putting cigarettes in their mouths and setting fire to them?"
"for sure,"
"Well good job Toad, keep it up,"
As the manager how much do you think he might be on? Its got to be £40k shirley?
Your taxes folks, your taxes....

Edited by The Hypno-Toad on Wednesday 28th January 07:18
Jobs for the old boys.
Designed by soon to be retired policemen, head teachers, council officials, health service managers and the like on a salary twice what they would be worth in the real world, beyond their niche. As they design the job, set the salary, write the Ad, do the interviews , and make the appointment it is a perpetual circle. I have even known them do all these things for a job they then intend to apply for (with the exception of the appointmnet which is done by their underling who is taking the same final salary job they are leaving vacant and will need the same favour in 2 years time).
And yes, you are paying for them to continue their endless round of meetings, steering groups, advisory panels, consultation groups, working parties, working lunches, twilight seminars, weekend stategy events, conferences and supervision meetings. Through the nose.
Designed by soon to be retired policemen, head teachers, council officials, health service managers and the like on a salary twice what they would be worth in the real world, beyond their niche. As they design the job, set the salary, write the Ad, do the interviews , and make the appointment it is a perpetual circle. I have even known them do all these things for a job they then intend to apply for (with the exception of the appointmnet which is done by their underling who is taking the same final salary job they are leaving vacant and will need the same favour in 2 years time).
And yes, you are paying for them to continue their endless round of meetings, steering groups, advisory panels, consultation groups, working parties, working lunches, twilight seminars, weekend stategy events, conferences and supervision meetings. Through the nose.
AJS- said:
http://jobs.guardian.co.uk/job/809372/area-co-ordi...
What will this person actually fill his working week with?
That job description actually says NOTHING. It is not at all clear what they will be co-ordinating.What will this person actually fill his working week with?
Piss rapidly boiling....
WTF does this mean? "person centred, individual budget agenda" - expenses????
http://jobs.guardian.co.uk/job/809382/service-mana...
WTF does this mean? "person centred, individual budget agenda" - expenses????
http://jobs.guardian.co.uk/job/809382/service-mana...
AJS- said:
http://jobs.guardian.co.uk/job/809372/area-co-ordi...
What will this person actually fill his working week with?
Sounds similar to my job...What will this person actually fill his working week with?
and I'm posting on here, can only advise the successful candidate to do similar.
DangerousMike said:
On the underground in Moscow they have a booth, equipped with a phone, at the bottom of the escaltors. In the booth is a woman. As far as I could tell her job was to sit there and watch the escalators. This is still the most pointless job I have encountered.
In the same spirit apparently some railway stations employ people to check trains as they leave to make sure their brakes aren't on fire? 
The Hypno-Toad said:
Guess this is similar to the one mentioned above.
Our NHS Trust recently advertised for a Smoking Cessation Advisor. £29k for giving out gum and sticking plasters. However in small print at the bottom it said you had to report to the Smoking Cessation Manager..... I'm guessing how your six month review would go.
"Have you given out the gum?"
"Yes,"
"Have you given out the sticking plasters?"
"Yep,"
"Have you given out the leafets?"
"Nnnnn.......Yep,"
"Have you given out the free DVDs?"
"Oh yes,"
"Have you told people to stop putting cigarettes in their mouths and setting fire to them?"
"for sure,"
"Well good job Toad, keep it up,"
As the manager how much do you think he might be on? Its got to be £40k shirley?
Your taxes folks, your taxes....
You missed a bit..Our NHS Trust recently advertised for a Smoking Cessation Advisor. £29k for giving out gum and sticking plasters. However in small print at the bottom it said you had to report to the Smoking Cessation Manager..... I'm guessing how your six month review would go.
"Have you given out the gum?"
"Yes,"
"Have you given out the sticking plasters?"
"Yep,"
"Have you given out the leafets?"
"Nnnnn.......Yep,"
"Have you given out the free DVDs?"
"Oh yes,"
"Have you told people to stop putting cigarettes in their mouths and setting fire to them?"
"for sure,"
"Well good job Toad, keep it up,"
As the manager how much do you think he might be on? Its got to be £40k shirley?
Your taxes folks, your taxes....

Edited by The Hypno-Toad on Wednesday 28th January 07:18
"Well good job Toad, keep it up. In fact we're so pleased we're upping your salary to 37K and giving you a staff car. Do remember to vote Labour won't you?"
I think i'm going to win with this one!!!
http://jobs.guardian.co.uk/job/809400/sustainabili...
http://jobs.guardian.co.uk/job/809400/sustainabili...
Job Ad said:
Salary £32,880 - £34,605 pa (PO2)
Have you got the drive and creativity to take ideas and principles and make them happen?
Lewisham Council is seeking someone to lead our corporate sustainability portfolio.
This challenging and rewarding role offers a high-profile opportunity to achieve environmental benefits for the borough and enable the Council to demonstrate its commitment and leadership on this agenda.
You will be an innovator and personally committed to making a difference with the ability to work successfully with a diverse range of people.
If you can put new ideas into practice and want to push the boundaries of what can be achieved then we want to hear from you.
The post is being offered on a one year basis linked to a wider review of the Council's Sustainable Resources Group.
In return, we'll offer excellent development opportunities, a range of benefits that includes a final salary pension scheme, flexible working and the opportunity to make a real difference to our local community.
What I want to know is who the hell looks for jobs and sees an ad like this and thinks "Yep! Thats what I want to do for a living!"Have you got the drive and creativity to take ideas and principles and make them happen?
Lewisham Council is seeking someone to lead our corporate sustainability portfolio.
This challenging and rewarding role offers a high-profile opportunity to achieve environmental benefits for the borough and enable the Council to demonstrate its commitment and leadership on this agenda.
You will be an innovator and personally committed to making a difference with the ability to work successfully with a diverse range of people.
If you can put new ideas into practice and want to push the boundaries of what can be achieved then we want to hear from you.
The post is being offered on a one year basis linked to a wider review of the Council's Sustainable Resources Group.
In return, we'll offer excellent development opportunities, a range of benefits that includes a final salary pension scheme, flexible working and the opportunity to make a real difference to our local community.
gamefreaks said:
I think i'm going to win with this one!!!
http://jobs.guardian.co.uk/job/809400/sustainabili...
For lewisham i would want additional danger pay and a stab proof vest.http://jobs.guardian.co.uk/job/809400/sustainabili...
Job Ad said:
Salary £32,880 - £34,605 pa (PO2)
Have you got the drive and creativity to take ideas and principles and make them happen?
Lewisham Council is seeking someone to lead our corporate sustainability portfolio.
This challenging and rewarding role offers a high-profile opportunity to achieve environmental benefits for the borough and enable the Council to demonstrate its commitment and leadership on this agenda.
You will be an innovator and personally committed to making a difference with the ability to work successfully with a diverse range of people.
If you can put new ideas into practice and want to push the boundaries of what can be achieved then we want to hear from you.
The post is being offered on a one year basis linked to a wider review of the Council's Sustainable Resources Group.
In return, we'll offer excellent development opportunities, a range of benefits that includes a final salary pension scheme, flexible working and the opportunity to make a real difference to our local community.
What I want to know is who the hell looks for jobs and sees an ad like this and thinks "Yep! Thats what I want to do for a living!"Have you got the drive and creativity to take ideas and principles and make them happen?
Lewisham Council is seeking someone to lead our corporate sustainability portfolio.
This challenging and rewarding role offers a high-profile opportunity to achieve environmental benefits for the borough and enable the Council to demonstrate its commitment and leadership on this agenda.
You will be an innovator and personally committed to making a difference with the ability to work successfully with a diverse range of people.
If you can put new ideas into practice and want to push the boundaries of what can be achieved then we want to hear from you.
The post is being offered on a one year basis linked to a wider review of the Council's Sustainable Resources Group.
In return, we'll offer excellent development opportunities, a range of benefits that includes a final salary pension scheme, flexible working and the opportunity to make a real difference to our local community.
Gassing Station | The Pie & Piston Archive | Top of Page | What's New | My Stuff



Very good.