Someone at AAA needs to DIE
Discussion
And I mean Die slowly, like with a butane torch.
AAA = AA or RAC type organization of incompetent inbred scum in America masquerading as a breakdown recovery service.
Ahh, so today I find myself driving the megamile winter beater down the NY State Thruway in lovely Westchester county, NY this afternoon. It's just before 5pm and I decide to pull off, grab a soda and continue on my journey.
Well the bastion of reliability that an aging intergalactic mileage E38 BMW 7 Series is decides to have some fun with me thinks that it's much more fun to blow a heater valve hose, in bumper to bumper traffic.
Pull into Getty station, guy glances under hood, says he doesn't work on BMWs (Because they use hose clamps that require a PHD apparently) so I'm towing it back home to either fix it myself in 10 minutes or have my mechanic do it in 10 minutes.
Now, this split wasn't at the end so I might have been able to fix it on the side of the road, but right in the middle. Hose bandage isn't fixing this, it's a split the long way, great. Time to call AAA as I am a AAA Plus member and get the car towed 15.7 miles home.
I have 2/3 charge on my iPhone. I am 2 miles from the border of the biggest city in America next to one of the busiest highways in the region.
5:07pm, call AAA. AAA claims my membership is invalid. Bullpoop.
5:11pm, finally AAA agrees that I am indeed a member but not a plus member. This means 4 miles of towing vs 100 miles of covered towing. No arguing is fixing this. Screw it, I need the car towed. It's snowing, it's 22 degrees, I am cold and pissed off.
5:15pm, get through to AAA dispatch office and since I am a AAA North Jersey member, I have been switched to them, they want to know why I am calling them if I am broken down in New York. I say that I told the automated line that I am in Yonkers, NY. They transfer me. I get Philadelphia dispatch. I explain that I am in NY, lady on phone asks why I would have called AAA Philadelphia?
5:25pm, FINALLY get someone in New York to agree to tow my car. I am now steaming nearly as much as my car. These people aren't just stupid, they seem to have Jell-O in their skulls.
They claim I will be towed within 45 minutes and that I will be called within 15 minutes.
As we shall see, this is apparently some sort of joke or perhaps some sort of game they play.
6:15 comes, nobody calls, nothing. I am cold. I need to stay with a car but have been sitting in a Pizzeria. This isn't fun.
20 maddening minutes on the phone later and I am told that a tow truck is en route, I should be picked up by 7pm, they apologize for being late.
Now it's 7:30, the woman who I am supposed to be seeing is now upset, we were supposed to go somewhere, this is now ruined. She is at my house and has one car at her disposal, a manual transmission car that she can't drive, plus, said car is sitting on 2" of ice and is shod with big, fat Pirelli P-Zero rossos. It is going absolutely nowhere regardless. But I tell her I'll be picked up in 15 minutes and it's a 20-25 minute drive s no worries.
As a caution I call a local towing company and am told a 90 minute wait for that, so forget it.
7:40, I call AAA again. Guess what? Oh the truck broke down, they are sending another, 20 minutes.
8:25, I try to call AAA, I select the option "Press 2 to check on the status of an emergency road service call in progress"
That gets me to a recording "Thank you for calling AAA's travel and vacation department, our normal business hours are Monday through Friday, 9am to 6pm and 10 to 5 on Saturdays.
Translation: Find a bridge, jump off it. But video it so we can watch and laugh
It's now 8:52 and I finally get through to a human at AAA. She can't help me but tries to get me to dispatch. She transfers my call, I get the vacation department again.
I am now ready to go to their little call center and start bludgeoning people while laughing myself silly.
My phone rings, it's AAA asking how things are going and did my service provider get my car to its' now new destination yet?
I explain that I have been lied to many times and that no truck is there and it's been over 3 hours and I am being lied to at an alarming rate.
I am promised a call back. Yes, and Virginia, there really IS a Santa Claus.
I call AAA back, I get through, the lady calls the towing company, she claims they are in the Bronx and no more than 20 minutes away.
Again, I ask is the truck a Flatbed? Yes it is.
It's now right past 9pm.
Lo and behold, 19 minutes and 35 seconds after I am told 20 minutes, a Ford F-650 Flatbed wrecker pulls into the parking lot.
It is now 9:21pm
I ask the driver when he got the call, he shows me his AAA dispatch computer. He got the call at 8:50.
I called AAA initially at just after 5pm.
While he is hooking my car to the flatbed, AAA calls wanting to know how my experience has been.
I open the floodgates, a deluge of profanities spews from my mouth at an uncontrollable rate, I am now ready to explode, I explain that I am more upset than Al Gore was in 2000 and that if the responsible parties worked for me that I would castrate them and then fire them. I realize that I am losing my cool, I explain that I am too upset to have a rational phone call with anyone from AAA and that I am ending the call.
10:08 my car is unloaded at my mechanic in New Jersey, right at 5 hours after a $4 hose exploded.
My iPhone warns me that I have less than 10% battery remaining.
11:22 I get a call from a tow truck driver on my cell phone asking where my car is. I tell him that it was towed and dropped off in New Jersey over an hour ago. He seems upset.
11:26 I get a call from AAA asking where my car was.
"My car was dropped off at a garage over an hour ago, which was 5 motherf
king hours after I first called you st sucking, baby raping pederasts to tow it less than 16 miles. It is now over 6 hours after the breakdown, and you think I am still waiting outside freezing my ass off? Are you serious? Tell me, what does it feel like being the poster child for planned parenthood? Why couldn't your mother have the fking presence of mind to grab a coathanger and spare the world the burden of having to co-exist with your pathetic selves? I hope you get gangraped to death, goodnight and die painfully."
I then hung up.
I haven't been this angry in 10 years I don't think.
Why do stupid people have to breed?
AAA = AA or RAC type organization of incompetent inbred scum in America masquerading as a breakdown recovery service.
Ahh, so today I find myself driving the megamile winter beater down the NY State Thruway in lovely Westchester county, NY this afternoon. It's just before 5pm and I decide to pull off, grab a soda and continue on my journey.
Well the bastion of reliability that an aging intergalactic mileage E38 BMW 7 Series is decides to have some fun with me thinks that it's much more fun to blow a heater valve hose, in bumper to bumper traffic.
Pull into Getty station, guy glances under hood, says he doesn't work on BMWs (Because they use hose clamps that require a PHD apparently) so I'm towing it back home to either fix it myself in 10 minutes or have my mechanic do it in 10 minutes.
Now, this split wasn't at the end so I might have been able to fix it on the side of the road, but right in the middle. Hose bandage isn't fixing this, it's a split the long way, great. Time to call AAA as I am a AAA Plus member and get the car towed 15.7 miles home.
I have 2/3 charge on my iPhone. I am 2 miles from the border of the biggest city in America next to one of the busiest highways in the region.
5:07pm, call AAA. AAA claims my membership is invalid. Bullpoop.
5:11pm, finally AAA agrees that I am indeed a member but not a plus member. This means 4 miles of towing vs 100 miles of covered towing. No arguing is fixing this. Screw it, I need the car towed. It's snowing, it's 22 degrees, I am cold and pissed off.
5:15pm, get through to AAA dispatch office and since I am a AAA North Jersey member, I have been switched to them, they want to know why I am calling them if I am broken down in New York. I say that I told the automated line that I am in Yonkers, NY. They transfer me. I get Philadelphia dispatch. I explain that I am in NY, lady on phone asks why I would have called AAA Philadelphia?
5:25pm, FINALLY get someone in New York to agree to tow my car. I am now steaming nearly as much as my car. These people aren't just stupid, they seem to have Jell-O in their skulls.
They claim I will be towed within 45 minutes and that I will be called within 15 minutes.
As we shall see, this is apparently some sort of joke or perhaps some sort of game they play.
6:15 comes, nobody calls, nothing. I am cold. I need to stay with a car but have been sitting in a Pizzeria. This isn't fun.
20 maddening minutes on the phone later and I am told that a tow truck is en route, I should be picked up by 7pm, they apologize for being late.
Now it's 7:30, the woman who I am supposed to be seeing is now upset, we were supposed to go somewhere, this is now ruined. She is at my house and has one car at her disposal, a manual transmission car that she can't drive, plus, said car is sitting on 2" of ice and is shod with big, fat Pirelli P-Zero rossos. It is going absolutely nowhere regardless. But I tell her I'll be picked up in 15 minutes and it's a 20-25 minute drive s no worries.
As a caution I call a local towing company and am told a 90 minute wait for that, so forget it.
7:40, I call AAA again. Guess what? Oh the truck broke down, they are sending another, 20 minutes.
8:25, I try to call AAA, I select the option "Press 2 to check on the status of an emergency road service call in progress"
That gets me to a recording "Thank you for calling AAA's travel and vacation department, our normal business hours are Monday through Friday, 9am to 6pm and 10 to 5 on Saturdays.
Translation: Find a bridge, jump off it. But video it so we can watch and laugh
It's now 8:52 and I finally get through to a human at AAA. She can't help me but tries to get me to dispatch. She transfers my call, I get the vacation department again.
I am now ready to go to their little call center and start bludgeoning people while laughing myself silly.
My phone rings, it's AAA asking how things are going and did my service provider get my car to its' now new destination yet?
I explain that I have been lied to many times and that no truck is there and it's been over 3 hours and I am being lied to at an alarming rate.
I am promised a call back. Yes, and Virginia, there really IS a Santa Claus.
I call AAA back, I get through, the lady calls the towing company, she claims they are in the Bronx and no more than 20 minutes away.
Again, I ask is the truck a Flatbed? Yes it is.
It's now right past 9pm.
Lo and behold, 19 minutes and 35 seconds after I am told 20 minutes, a Ford F-650 Flatbed wrecker pulls into the parking lot.
It is now 9:21pm
I ask the driver when he got the call, he shows me his AAA dispatch computer. He got the call at 8:50.
I called AAA initially at just after 5pm.
While he is hooking my car to the flatbed, AAA calls wanting to know how my experience has been.
I open the floodgates, a deluge of profanities spews from my mouth at an uncontrollable rate, I am now ready to explode, I explain that I am more upset than Al Gore was in 2000 and that if the responsible parties worked for me that I would castrate them and then fire them. I realize that I am losing my cool, I explain that I am too upset to have a rational phone call with anyone from AAA and that I am ending the call.
10:08 my car is unloaded at my mechanic in New Jersey, right at 5 hours after a $4 hose exploded.
My iPhone warns me that I have less than 10% battery remaining.
11:22 I get a call from a tow truck driver on my cell phone asking where my car is. I tell him that it was towed and dropped off in New Jersey over an hour ago. He seems upset.
11:26 I get a call from AAA asking where my car was.
"My car was dropped off at a garage over an hour ago, which was 5 motherf
king hours after I first called you st sucking, baby raping pederasts to tow it less than 16 miles. It is now over 6 hours after the breakdown, and you think I am still waiting outside freezing my ass off? Are you serious? Tell me, what does it feel like being the poster child for planned parenthood? Why couldn't your mother have the fking presence of mind to grab a coathanger and spare the world the burden of having to co-exist with your pathetic selves? I hope you get gangraped to death, goodnight and die painfully."I then hung up.
I haven't been this angry in 10 years I don't think.
Why do stupid people have to breed?
That's terrible. I've been towed before but by Audi Roadside handling the situation and it was brilliant both times. An AAA tow truck driver once wanted $80 to tow me a mile and a half; when he realized I would beat him senseless for his gouging, he agreed to do it for $40.
I was actually thinking of getting AAA for my bike. Hmmm.
I was actually thinking of getting AAA for my bike. Hmmm.
Driving through Germany at about 0200. Somewhere near Ludwigshaven. Borrowed Merc E320 CDI. Engine stops and I coast into a layby. No idea where I am. No name or lights in laybay. GPS antenna is broken so no nav. Don't even remember the number of the Autobahn I'm on. Call Mercedes Assist. Bit of toing and froing between the German and Luxembourg folk. Fellow asks me where I am. I couldn't tell him. I found a little number on the bottom of the sign at the entrance to the laybay. He used that to find me. Said a lorry would be there within 45 minutes. About 20 minutes later it was there. Arrived at a Merecedes garage at about 0300. Mechanic diagnoses clogged injectors. Had to wait for the parts lad to come in. That was the biggest delay. Parts man opens the stores and gives the parts to the mechanic. I'm back on the road before 0500.
Hammerwerfer said:
Driving through Germany at about 0200. Somewhere near Ludwigshaven. Borrowed Merc E320 CDI. Engine stops and I coast into a layby. No idea where I am. No name or lights in laybay. GPS antenna is broken so no nav. Don't even remember the number of the Autobahn I'm on. Call Mercedes Assist. Bit of toing and froing between the German and Luxembourg folk. Fellow asks me where I am. I couldn't tell him. I found a little number on the bottom of the sign at the entrance to the laybay. He used that to find me. Said a lorry would be there within 45 minutes. About 20 minutes later it was there. Arrived at a Merecedes garage at about 0300. Mechanic diagnoses clogged injectors. Had to wait for the parts lad to come in. That was the biggest delay. Parts man opens the stores and gives the parts to the mechanic. I'm back on the road before 0500.
Gotta love the Germans.AUDIHenry said:
Hammerwerfer said:
Driving through Germany at about 0200. Somewhere near Ludwigshaven. Borrowed Merc E320 CDI. Engine stops and I coast into a layby. No idea where I am. No name or lights in laybay. GPS antenna is broken so no nav. Don't even remember the number of the Autobahn I'm on. Call Mercedes Assist. Bit of toing and froing between the German and Luxembourg folk. Fellow asks me where I am. I couldn't tell him. I found a little number on the bottom of the sign at the entrance to the laybay. He used that to find me. Said a lorry would be there within 45 minutes. About 20 minutes later it was there. Arrived at a Merecedes garage at about 0300. Mechanic diagnoses clogged injectors. Had to wait for the parts lad to come in. That was the biggest delay. Parts man opens the stores and gives the parts to the mechanic. I'm back on the road before 0500.
Gotta love the Germans.They must have transfered her from South Jersey.
Car had a problem, on a busy road, luckily I was able to coax it into a friends forecourt just as he was closing.
Called triple A, women said "where are you", in the forecourt of the oil change place corner of.......
We can't pick you up from a repair shop.
It's not a repair shop, it's an oil change business. I pulled in there because it's a busy road.
The conversation went on that I may not have paid my bill at the repair shop so we can't get you a flatbet.
It's not a repair shop.
I went on to explain that an average oil change costs less than $30 !!!!!
I got the number of a private company they sent someone out.
To prevent the same problem I pushed my car out into the street in case the driver took the same attitude.
The guy arrived looked at the car and said "maybe we can push it into that forecourt it will be easier for me to scoop it up"
In fairness AAA have been very good before this very frustrating event.
Car had a problem, on a busy road, luckily I was able to coax it into a friends forecourt just as he was closing.
Called triple A, women said "where are you", in the forecourt of the oil change place corner of.......
We can't pick you up from a repair shop.
It's not a repair shop, it's an oil change business. I pulled in there because it's a busy road.
The conversation went on that I may not have paid my bill at the repair shop so we can't get you a flatbet.
It's not a repair shop.
I went on to explain that an average oil change costs less than $30 !!!!!
I got the number of a private company they sent someone out.
To prevent the same problem I pushed my car out into the street in case the driver took the same attitude.
The guy arrived looked at the car and said "maybe we can push it into that forecourt it will be easier for me to scoop it up"
In fairness AAA have been very good before this very frustrating event.
fathomfive said:
AUDIHenry said:
Hammerwerfer said:
Driving through Germany at about 0200. Somewhere near Ludwigshaven. Borrowed Merc E320 CDI. Engine stops and I coast into a layby. No idea where I am. No name or lights in laybay. GPS antenna is broken so no nav. Don't even remember the number of the Autobahn I'm on. Call Mercedes Assist. Bit of toing and froing between the German and Luxembourg folk. Fellow asks me where I am. I couldn't tell him. I found a little number on the bottom of the sign at the entrance to the laybay. He used that to find me. Said a lorry would be there within 45 minutes. About 20 minutes later it was there. Arrived at a Merecedes garage at about 0300. Mechanic diagnoses clogged injectors. Had to wait for the parts lad to come in. That was the biggest delay. Parts man opens the stores and gives the parts to the mechanic. I'm back on the road before 0500.
Gotta love the Germans.damn you
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