Burglar in the house...
Discussion
What would you do if you came across a randomer in your house. You know the sort of situation, if your OH and/or kids and/or parents and/or mates were in the house too?
Would you properly batter them, or "politely request they leave" as your not supposed to hit them (and no, im not talking about beer battering them!!)
Would you properly batter them, or "politely request they leave" as your not supposed to hit them (and no, im not talking about beer battering them!!)
If there was only one of them i'd probably be unable to control my temper.
If I efforts to subdue the miscreant were successful then he would cease to exist. No trace of him would ever be found again. Ever.
Whats more likely to happen is that he'd land a couple of blows to my midriff that would leave me crying like a baby before he scarpered.
If I efforts to subdue the miscreant were successful then he would cease to exist. No trace of him would ever be found again. Ever.
Whats more likely to happen is that he'd land a couple of blows to my midriff that would leave me crying like a baby before he scarpered.
I came home one night and from a 100 yards away noticed that my dog was outside the house barking like mad.
I assumed I must have left the door unlocked (cos she could open it if it wasn't locked). I went in the back door and walked into the living room, the window was wide open. I actually thought the dog had managed to open the window (duh).
Then I noticed she was halfway up the stairs, growling like the hound of the baskervilles with all her hackles raised.
So I picked up a hammer that was sitting on the table and cautiosly went upstairs, taking the dog with me. The bedroom doors were both open but the bathroom door was shut. When I tried to push it open it pushed back and a plaintive voice said "sorry mate, I'll just wait here til the police come".
So I told him he'd "Better fkin stay put" in my best scary voice and went down to call the police.
When I finally got through to them that I hadn't "been" burgled but actually had a burglar in my bathroom, they raced to me in less than...oooo....25 minutes.
During that time the scrote got away as I couldn't watch the stairs and the bathroom window at the same time.
To round it off well though, he did drop his jacket on the kitchen roof with his wallet in his pocket so they did get him.
And finally, my dog was so pissed off she never got to take a chunk out of him, she bit the copper when he finally decided to show up
I assumed I must have left the door unlocked (cos she could open it if it wasn't locked). I went in the back door and walked into the living room, the window was wide open. I actually thought the dog had managed to open the window (duh).
Then I noticed she was halfway up the stairs, growling like the hound of the baskervilles with all her hackles raised.
So I picked up a hammer that was sitting on the table and cautiosly went upstairs, taking the dog with me. The bedroom doors were both open but the bathroom door was shut. When I tried to push it open it pushed back and a plaintive voice said "sorry mate, I'll just wait here til the police come".
So I told him he'd "Better fkin stay put" in my best scary voice and went down to call the police.
When I finally got through to them that I hadn't "been" burgled but actually had a burglar in my bathroom, they raced to me in less than...oooo....25 minutes.
During that time the scrote got away as I couldn't watch the stairs and the bathroom window at the same time.
To round it off well though, he did drop his jacket on the kitchen roof with his wallet in his pocket so they did get him.
And finally, my dog was so pissed off she never got to take a chunk out of him, she bit the copper when he finally decided to show up
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