Discretion and subtlety required - so I thought I'd ask PH..
Discussion
Hi all, I need your help and input on a situation I'm in. I'm wondering whether I could phrase the following email any better; the email explains the issue... 'Peter' is the company secretary for the residents' limited company.
Thoughts gratefully received. Am I being an arse? My paintwork has been a pig to keep clean, and with the new car coming I'll be 'bothered' about it being clean all over again like I was with the ST in the early days. I've not sent the email yet, just wondering whether it'll start a long and unpleasant series of stares and 'old people smells' being wafted through my letterbox.
Let's also work on the basis that I cannot kill her, nuke her from orbit, kick her back doors in (urgh) etc etc..
In my email I said:
Dear Peter,
I hope this email finds you well. I have a minor issue that I’m hoping you may be able to help with. It may require discretion as I have no desire to cause a ‘scene’. Allow me to explain..
Many months ago, I noticed XXX in Flat X throwing breadcrumbs on the back lawn. In and of itself, this is not a problem, however it attracts birds which subsequently fly behind the building between our building and the property behind – right across the cars that are parked there. For those of us with parking spaces 6-8, there has been a continual battle to keep the cars free of bird droppings which as I’m sure you’re aware are corrosive and damaging to car paintwork. I have even gone to the effort of placing a plastic owl on one of the posts as these are used in chandlery circles to discourage birds.
I mentioned this to XXX when I first saw her doing it and asked whether she would mind putting the crumbs on the lawn to the West of the property as this less likely to cause more birds than necessary to fly over the cars. As I was leaving today, I saw XXX walking out with a bag of breadcrumbs and she said to me, “Oh, I’m glad you’re going out.” It then became clear that she has continued to throw crumbs there despite being politely asked not to, and that my going out would mean my car was less likely to be splattered with droppings. It also explains why my car has continued to look like some sort of ‘bird target practice device’ even since requesting that she refrained.
Would you be able to think of a discreet way of requesting that crumbs are not put out for the birds other than to the west of the property? There is no need for XXX to do so, other than for her own satisfaction, yet it causes problems for those of us parked in the ‘flight path’. XXX does not drive or own a car, so I don’t expect she understands the scale of the problem that bird droppings cause to vehicle paintwork.
Additionally, there is the concern that putting out food on the grass may attract other less desirable vermin such as rats and mice.
I have no desire to cause any problem with XXX as we have co-existed peacefully for the whole time I’ve been a resident here. However, I feel that I have made a reasonable and polite request with a workable alternative suggestion which has been ignored. If you can think of a way that the situation could be addressed, I would be most grateful.
Kind regards,
Gavin
The pics below show the reason the problems arise. Look at the 'logical' access route the birds take:I hope this email finds you well. I have a minor issue that I’m hoping you may be able to help with. It may require discretion as I have no desire to cause a ‘scene’. Allow me to explain..
Many months ago, I noticed XXX in Flat X throwing breadcrumbs on the back lawn. In and of itself, this is not a problem, however it attracts birds which subsequently fly behind the building between our building and the property behind – right across the cars that are parked there. For those of us with parking spaces 6-8, there has been a continual battle to keep the cars free of bird droppings which as I’m sure you’re aware are corrosive and damaging to car paintwork. I have even gone to the effort of placing a plastic owl on one of the posts as these are used in chandlery circles to discourage birds.
I mentioned this to XXX when I first saw her doing it and asked whether she would mind putting the crumbs on the lawn to the West of the property as this less likely to cause more birds than necessary to fly over the cars. As I was leaving today, I saw XXX walking out with a bag of breadcrumbs and she said to me, “Oh, I’m glad you’re going out.” It then became clear that she has continued to throw crumbs there despite being politely asked not to, and that my going out would mean my car was less likely to be splattered with droppings. It also explains why my car has continued to look like some sort of ‘bird target practice device’ even since requesting that she refrained.
Would you be able to think of a discreet way of requesting that crumbs are not put out for the birds other than to the west of the property? There is no need for XXX to do so, other than for her own satisfaction, yet it causes problems for those of us parked in the ‘flight path’. XXX does not drive or own a car, so I don’t expect she understands the scale of the problem that bird droppings cause to vehicle paintwork.
Additionally, there is the concern that putting out food on the grass may attract other less desirable vermin such as rats and mice.
I have no desire to cause any problem with XXX as we have co-existed peacefully for the whole time I’ve been a resident here. However, I feel that I have made a reasonable and polite request with a workable alternative suggestion which has been ignored. If you can think of a way that the situation could be addressed, I would be most grateful.
Kind regards,
Gavin
Thoughts gratefully received. Am I being an arse? My paintwork has been a pig to keep clean, and with the new car coming I'll be 'bothered' about it being clean all over again like I was with the ST in the early days. I've not sent the email yet, just wondering whether it'll start a long and unpleasant series of stares and 'old people smells' being wafted through my letterbox.
Let's also work on the basis that I cannot kill her, nuke her from orbit, kick her back doors in (urgh) etc etc..
Edited by Funk on Tuesday 3rd February 20:08
esselte said:
Edited by Funk on Tuesday 3rd February 20:13
Seems fair, not much to add to your letter it's polite & to the point.
If it fails:
Get an air pistol and blast some of the birds point blank *blam*
Get some cats and release them from their boxes as the birds have landed.
Land mines, lots.
Some white phosphorous, no real reason other than it's a bit fancy.
ETA:
If it fails:
Get an air pistol and blast some of the birds point blank *blam*
Get some cats and release them from their boxes as the birds have landed.
Land mines, lots.
Some white phosphorous, no real reason other than it's a bit fancy.
ETA:
wolf1 said:
Or failing that tell her that you will lace breadcrumbs with poison to kill all the birds and spread them in the same place she does unless she stops her antics.
This is good but don't tell her.^Edited by MK4 Slowride on Tuesday 3rd February 20:14
To be fair, I think it is a bit of an over-reaction. Birds will always s
t, just as the sun will always rise. You might prevent 10% of sttage over a given period by implmenting the embargo, but really, is it worth it?
Additionally, how pissed off would you be if you implemented the ban and then an rogue pigeon comes along & drops one of those big purple / red sts they do after eating berries.
Buy a car cover.
t, just as the sun will always rise. You might prevent 10% of sttage over a given period by implmenting the embargo, but really, is it worth it?Additionally, how pissed off would you be if you implemented the ban and then an rogue pigeon comes along & drops one of those big purple / red s
ts they do after eating berries.Buy a car cover.
Schmalex > valid point, there will always be birds around and about. What I'm hoping to achieve is to discourage them rather than attract more and more on a weekly basis.
If I'm being an arse about it, please let me know. I just hate cleaning bird st off my car on a daily basis when my neighbour could easily walk an extra 20ft round the side of the building to put crumbs out for the birds without causing them to strafe our vehicles in the process?
If I'm being an arse about it, please let me know. I just hate cleaning bird s
t off my car on a daily basis when my neighbour could easily walk an extra 20ft round the side of the building to put crumbs out for the birds without causing them to strafe our vehicles in the process?
If she is putting food on the ground, she is also feeding rats.
I would venture it's more a case of ignorance then malicious behaviour, but you don't want rats - no honestly you don't.
The solution is to volunteer to put a bird table on the west side (or where you think is best) for her to go and put her crumbs on.
So play the
lawn -> feeding rats
installing bird table -> hero, who like birds
using bird table -> neighbour is forced to go down and put them on the table and has to do it where it's best.
good luck.
I would venture it's more a case of ignorance then malicious behaviour, but you don't want rats - no honestly you don't.
The solution is to volunteer to put a bird table on the west side (or where you think is best) for her to go and put her crumbs on.
So play the
lawn -> feeding rats
installing bird table -> hero, who like birds
using bird table -> neighbour is forced to go down and put them on the table and has to do it where it's best.
good luck.
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