The imaginary lottery win,,,,,,,,and my other half
The imaginary lottery win,,,,,,,,and my other half
Author
Discussion

Emsman

Original Poster:

7,307 posts

219 months

Friday 6th February 2009
quotequote all
So, sat quite happily in the lounge, the advert comes on, telling me all about the rollover.

"what would be the first thing you would do if you won?"

"simple, I would go out tomorrow, and buy an Aston Vanquish"

"Really?"

"yep".

"you wker"

"?, erm, why exactly"

"because we had to put the wedding back due to you loosing your job"

"yes. And the relevance of that is.................?"

"well, if you had your priorities right, we would get married"

"thats as maybe my dear, and indeed, it would be right near the top of my list of things to do. However........................im unlikely to be able to organize the venue, the registrar, the menu's.not to mention the guests"

"that is so typical of you to be able to find excuses"

"not excuses, just being realistic- one is attainable at a moments notice, the other requires at least a months planning. Unless of course, you want to go to Gretna Green-which wasnt what you wanted when we last discussed it, and imagine-if you will- the scale of guests, and the absolute dearm venue we could have should we ever win it"

"im not interested, im going out"

"Eh? what the fk? You do realise that we are talking about an entirely ficticious scenario-ie i havnt won the lottery draw which hasnt actually been drawn yet"

"thats not the point, it tells me what you really think of me"

(cue doors slamming, stomping of feet up and down stairs etc)

"im really sorry, but i refuse, point blank, to argue about something that a/. hasnt happened, and b/. is unlikely ever to anyway"

"fk off, im going out"

"right"


Now, i am by no means a genius, but can anyone here (whether equipped with a penis or not) explain what the fk is going on inside this womans head???

I can understand the crushing blow of dissapointment of not being married the instant some imaginary cash lands, but surely someone who is intelligent (ie-her) can see the utter futility of this arguement.

Now, should i go to the pub, or not???






XMES RUS

1,318 posts

253 months

Friday 6th February 2009
quotequote all
No go and buy a lottery ticket and dump her

G'kar

3,728 posts

215 months

Friday 6th February 2009
quotequote all
If you were to win, the very last thing you'd do is marry the psycho and let her walk away with half of it.

andy-xr

13,204 posts

233 months

Friday 6th February 2009
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When she's stuck in the snow later that'll be your fault as well for making her go out

I'd disappear for a bit and buy more tickets

MrMoonyMan

2,689 posts

240 months

Friday 6th February 2009
quotequote all
Ha ha ha - Man meets Woman-Logic!

Just don't even try to argue, you will fail.

Cotty

42,215 posts

313 months

Friday 6th February 2009
quotequote all
go to the pub, get smashed

dougc

8,241 posts

294 months

Friday 6th February 2009
quotequote all
Mentalist

HRG

72,863 posts

268 months

Friday 6th February 2009
quotequote all
Emsman said:
Now, i am by no means a genius, but can anyone here (whether equipped with a penis or not) explain what the fk is going on inside this womans head???
She's about to be on the blob.

HTH

Office_Monkey

1,969 posts

238 months

Friday 6th February 2009
quotequote all
I have no idea what's going on in her head, but thanks for the the laugh. rofl

rhinochopig

17,932 posts

227 months

Friday 6th February 2009
quotequote all
rofl OP sorry for your predicament, but that is just hilarious.

Pesty

42,655 posts

285 months

Friday 6th February 2009
quotequote all
Women are mental.

There is no point dumping her because they are all the same.

Wait till she gets the sulks on because of something you did in a dream!


bigandclever

14,336 posts

267 months

Friday 6th February 2009
quotequote all
You absolutely MUST get a taped lottery show and buy a corresponding 'winning' ticket.

Cue lots of whooping and hollering and when you've calmed down a bit mention how you were considering what she'd said about the wedding, and how, if she likes, you can give her a lift to the fking station in your new Aston in the morning. See how she likes them apples.

trumpet600

3,527 posts

260 months

Friday 6th February 2009
quotequote all
The sure fire way of having a happier life is

NEVER, NEVER, try to understand what goes on in a womans mind. It will never make any sense at all. If it was a computer, it would constantly crash due to the illogical messages being sent.


CommanderJameson

22,096 posts

255 months

Friday 6th February 2009
quotequote all
Emsman said:
Now, should i go to the pub, or not???
That's not really a question, is it?

XMES RUS

1,318 posts

253 months

Friday 6th February 2009
quotequote all
trumpet600 said:
The sure fire way of having a happier life is

NEVER, NEVER, try to understand what goes on in a womans mind. It will never make any sense at all. If it was a computer, it would constantly crash due to the illogical messages being sent.

Thats true Im constantly re-booting my missus often

M3CHA-MONK3Y

6,095 posts

224 months

Friday 6th February 2009
quotequote all
HRG said:
Emsman said:
Now, i am by no means a genius, but can anyone here (whether equipped with a penis or not) explain what the fk is going on inside this womans head???
She's about to be on the blob.

HTH
Second that.
My OH is due for the 'First Biblical Plague' and i've been getting nothing but ball-ache. She rung me up yesterday and started accusing me of losing her Satnav. Funny how it turns up in her fking glovebox.
What makes it worse is i've quit smoking as well, so things are a little tense.

To the pub!

Edited by M3CHA-MONK3Y on Friday 6th February 13:50

sleep envy

62,260 posts

278 months

Friday 6th February 2009
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at least it's not just me getting it in the neck from the mentalists during their 'week'

Deva Link

26,934 posts

274 months

Friday 6th February 2009
quotequote all
You have to know what they want you to say, and then just say that.

My FIL is absolutely brilliant at this and my wife for some reason expects me to be the same.

madala

5,063 posts

227 months

Friday 6th February 2009
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...Emsman...you sure you want to get married to er....that woman....I would dump it as fast as 'feck 'cos they only get worse once that band of gold is on their finger.....

ukwill

10,129 posts

236 months

Friday 6th February 2009
quotequote all
sounds pre-menstrual to me??

Edited by ukwill on Friday 6th February 13:51