Rules for Men #73: If you give her the keys to your flat...
Discussion
... always assume your door is now unlocked.
This means
1) She can walk in at any time
2) You must never browse porn
3) You must never crack one off in front of your PC
4) You must never wear headphones while cracking one off
5) You must never crack one off while wearing headphones and browsing porn containing pictures of big, busty blondes when your fiancee has an issue about her small chest.
A friend broke this rule the other night. He apparently had his boxers round his ankles and was happily pleasuring himself with his headphones on, and browsing big, busty blonde porn. She walked in and was standing beside him. She then apparently punched him in the face, kicked him in the nuts and threw the engagement ring at him.
Questions
1) What should he do to resolve this?
2) What should she do now?
No, I am not going to ask how far he was or if he finished himself off when she'd left.
This means
1) She can walk in at any time
2) You must never browse porn
3) You must never crack one off in front of your PC
4) You must never wear headphones while cracking one off
5) You must never crack one off while wearing headphones and browsing porn containing pictures of big, busty blondes when your fiancee has an issue about her small chest.
A friend broke this rule the other night. He apparently had his boxers round his ankles and was happily pleasuring himself with his headphones on, and browsing big, busty blonde porn. She walked in and was standing beside him. She then apparently punched him in the face, kicked him in the nuts and threw the engagement ring at him.
Questions
1) What should he do to resolve this?
2) What should she do now?
No, I am not going to ask how far he was or if he finished himself off when she'd left.
Edited by ShadownINja on Sunday 8th February 12:11
Oops. He'll have to realise she is going to feel completely humiliated by witnessing that. I really don't know what he can do but a phone call may be a start and a lot of grovelling. Knowing your bloke may do this is one thing, witnessing it must be a completely different issue! And he shouldn't say things like 'Well at least it wasn't a real woman in the flat etc' that isn't likely too work at this stage.
ShadownINja said:
I am not going to ask how far he was or if he finished himself off when she'd left.
Of course he did. It's a shame to waste a hard-on.Men like looking at naked ladies. It's the way we are wired up.
Men and women also have different sex drives, would she rather he went out actually looking for sex or just had a left handed surf now and again.
What is this new craze with headphones on w
king then?
He should call her and try to patch things up by telling her he won't watch porn again, ask her to come over for breakfast. One he's done that he should go to the pub and find a nice young lady to enjoy the company of all night long. In the morning the brilliance of his plan will unfold when he says "At least I wasn't waching porn"...;)
king then?He should call her and try to patch things up by telling her he won't watch porn again, ask her to come over for breakfast. One he's done that he should go to the pub and find a nice young lady to enjoy the company of all night long. In the morning the brilliance of his plan will unfold when he says "At least I wasn't waching porn"...;)
becksW said:
Oops. He'll have to realise she is going to feel completely humiliated by witnessing that. I really don't know what he can do but a phone call may be a start and a lot of grovelling. Knowing your bloke may do this is one thing, witnessing it must be a completely different issue! And he shouldn't say things like 'Well at least it wasn't a real woman in the flat etc' that isn't likely too work at this stage.
Ah, the female reply! Yes, I think she was humiliated by it. What kind of grovelling would work, though? What kind of promises would fix the rift?Tell her if she wasn't such a flat-chested boring bh that doesn't put out enough, that she has no one to blame other than herself. Tell her to learn 'sexy', and 'grow a pair'. Just because she's good to look at doesn't make her fit for the purpose
NB Do ensure that Your friend is wearing suitable PPE at this time
h that doesn't put out enough, that she has no one to blame other than herself. Tell her to learn 'sexy', and 'grow a pair'. Just because she's good to look at doesn't make her fit for the purposeNB Do ensure that Your friend is wearing suitable PPE at this time
Gassing Station | The Pie & Piston Archive | Top of Page | What's New | My Stuff