kids, nurserys, lack of stimulus, testing etc
Discussion
Grandson is experiencing problems at Nursery, he's sharp as a tack and we feel, as does the health visitor, that he is a little ahead of himself. The Nursery have been playing it down and making his mum feel as if he has a problem and is different, she's been in tears and today had it out with them. They said they need to bring him back down to the other kids level as he seems to be very advanced and grown up for his age but very immature?
We are thinking of moving him as they seem to find it too much of an effort, is there any way of testing him to see if he's a junior Einstein or has a problem
We are thinking of moving him as they seem to find it too much of an effort, is there any way of testing him to see if he's a junior Einstein or has a problem
NWTony said:
I don't know, if his mum says he is a bit of a genius, parents are usually spot on in assessing the strengths and weaknesses of their young offspring. I'd take her word for it.
HTH
I know every mum thinks their child is special but believe me, this kid is 3 and has us all in hysterics, he is constantly chatting, making up stories pretending to write letters, be a shopkeeper etc. His comments actually make you do a double take and say, did I just hear that? We've always involved him in whatever is going on and talking to him, he has a huge vocabulary for his age etc.....I personally feel he isn't getting any challenge at the play group.HTH
A good nursery should be able to cope, a childs developement stage is irrelevant. If you're pee'd off, and you sound like you are, then you have three choices;
1. winge on PH and do nowt (not meant as an insult)
2. change the nursery
3. change to a private school
We did the later with our three year old, it's only a tad more expensive than nursery and at three he's in a uniform, being 'taught' stuff and loves it.
Good luck, I know from personal experience it's a hard choice, didn't like the idea at all to start with, but it's much much better, but thats just IMHO.
1. winge on PH and do nowt (not meant as an insult)
2. change the nursery
3. change to a private school
We did the later with our three year old, it's only a tad more expensive than nursery and at three he's in a uniform, being 'taught' stuff and loves it.
Good luck, I know from personal experience it's a hard choice, didn't like the idea at all to start with, but it's much much better, but thats just IMHO.
Totally agree with Catz. Not meaning to sound unkind but I know my parents think my little girl is just the best thing ever - nothing wrong with indulgent grandparents - but it is very important that at this young age they learn to co-operate and interact with other young children.
It's vital for his development that he fits in with his peers. Plenty time once he gets to school to develop the acedemic side of things but I think nursery should be primarily about learning to interact, and learn through play.
It's vital for his development that he fits in with his peers. Plenty time once he gets to school to develop the acedemic side of things but I think nursery should be primarily about learning to interact, and learn through play.
Any chance the lad could spend a day or two a week with his grandparents to get the best childcare money can't buy?
More guess work here ...
I've seen, through my work, a few children who act like mini adults. Often what they say and do may seem very funny/astute etc to adults listening but it can distance them from other children. This can have an effect as the child grows up if they become isolated, it can also result in bullying the one who's "different".
I'm presuming he's an only child too??
If this is the case perhaps socialising with more children his age is an idea.
I suggest Mum arranges a proper meeting with the nursery teacher/manager to find out exactly what these "problems" are and to discuss the way forward, strategies the nursery plan to put in place etc. I know you said they spoke but it may be that Mum was too upset at the time to think straight. Maybe she should jot down what wants to know beforehand to keep her on track.
I've seen, through my work, a few children who act like mini adults. Often what they say and do may seem very funny/astute etc to adults listening but it can distance them from other children. This can have an effect as the child grows up if they become isolated, it can also result in bullying the one who's "different".
I'm presuming he's an only child too??
If this is the case perhaps socialising with more children his age is an idea.
I suggest Mum arranges a proper meeting with the nursery teacher/manager to find out exactly what these "problems" are and to discuss the way forward, strategies the nursery plan to put in place etc. I know you said they spoke but it may be that Mum was too upset at the time to think straight. Maybe she should jot down what wants to know beforehand to keep her on track.
Mobile Chicane said:
Any chance the lad could spend a day or two a week with his grandparents to get the best childcare money can't buy?
Having been nagged by my parents to sprog up, the moment they heard news the first (of two at the moment) was on his way, they sold up (having lived half a mile away in Brum) and moved to Devon......er, thanks!Mobile Chicane said:
Any chance the lad could spend a day or two a week with his grandparents to get the best childcare money can't buy?
While given the option I would have taken this route with my daughter in her younger years though it would have been on a financial basis rather than parental choice. As it was we sent her to a child minder and nursery and to be honest she's turned out to be balanced young individual. My neighbour's sun however is turning out to be a bit of a handful and my neighbours opinion is it's because he was bought up by adults namely grandparent's and aunts. He lacks social interaction abilities and is a particularly selfish young lad, who is getting into trouble on a regular basis at school for unruly behaviour.
I suppose the best option overall is a mixture of the two, that's time with kids and time with the adults.
Gargamel said:
Look into a montessori nursery, they tend to be a little more formal, without losing the learning through play side.
Think thats the point kid's need to play with kid's. When an adult plays with a child the adult will generally give way. Child thinks this is the norm and demands it in the outside world!.RJE1966 said:
A good nursery should be able to cope, a childs developement stage is irrelevant. If you're pee'd off, and you sound like you are, then you have three choices;
1. winge on PH and do nowt (not meant as an insult)
2. change the nursery
3. change to a private school
We did the later with our three year old, it's only a tad more expensive than nursery and at three he's in a uniform, being 'taught' stuff and loves it.
Good luck, I know from personal experience it's a hard choice, didn't like the idea at all to start with, but it's much much better, but thats just IMHO.
Agree - I started school at 2.5 and could read and write at 3. why not? 1. winge on PH and do nowt (not meant as an insult)
2. change the nursery
3. change to a private school
We did the later with our three year old, it's only a tad more expensive than nursery and at three he's in a uniform, being 'taught' stuff and loves it.
Good luck, I know from personal experience it's a hard choice, didn't like the idea at all to start with, but it's much much better, but thats just IMHO.
Invisible man said:
After a chat with my daughter it seems this is understood and a good chat was had but the Nursery is not helping him interact, this is the problem, he wants to spend time with them not the kids
Do you think at three he a good judge of what's good for him ?. Should issues like this be up for debate with a child so young, what would expect him to say. Not being unkind I know you want the best for him but you can be to close to see.My OH (works training in this sector) says.
You really need to move him or at the very least ask for a meeting with the practitioners about how you can all work together to support his progress and development. All nursery practitioners have a statutory duty to implement the Early Years Foundation Stage document(Google the EYFS and get hold of a copy!). In this document it specifically states that learning programmes must be personalised and meet the individual needs of each child. Often staff in nurseries find challenging the more creative and developmentally advanced children tests their capabilities. You need to try to work together with them to find activities and experiences which are linked to his interests. Partnerships with parents and carers are meant to be a focal point as they are the children's first educators and their views need to be valued.
Is the nursery play based with a stimulating and varied environment? Are the interactions between the staff and children positive? If not this nursery is not meeting the requirements of the EYFS. When was the nurseries last Ofsted inspection? Have a look online, if they are due another they will need to show evidence of how they are working in a personalised way.
Negative interactions can be detrimental to a child's progress and development so things need turning around. If the setting is not implementing a play based learning environment children's behaviour can be challenging the system as they become bored or are given activities which do not stimulate them.
Read some of the EYFS and discuss the situation with the knowledge of what constitutes good care/learning support and ask to work together. If this isn't received positively, move him and inform Ofsted. Good luck.
You really need to move him or at the very least ask for a meeting with the practitioners about how you can all work together to support his progress and development. All nursery practitioners have a statutory duty to implement the Early Years Foundation Stage document(Google the EYFS and get hold of a copy!). In this document it specifically states that learning programmes must be personalised and meet the individual needs of each child. Often staff in nurseries find challenging the more creative and developmentally advanced children tests their capabilities. You need to try to work together with them to find activities and experiences which are linked to his interests. Partnerships with parents and carers are meant to be a focal point as they are the children's first educators and their views need to be valued.
Is the nursery play based with a stimulating and varied environment? Are the interactions between the staff and children positive? If not this nursery is not meeting the requirements of the EYFS. When was the nurseries last Ofsted inspection? Have a look online, if they are due another they will need to show evidence of how they are working in a personalised way.
Negative interactions can be detrimental to a child's progress and development so things need turning around. If the setting is not implementing a play based learning environment children's behaviour can be challenging the system as they become bored or are given activities which do not stimulate them.
Read some of the EYFS and discuss the situation with the knowledge of what constitutes good care/learning support and ask to work together. If this isn't received positively, move him and inform Ofsted. Good luck.
I meant to add - a friends 3 year old was having similar trouble at nursery - not challenging enough and she was not interating with peers. She was doing 100 piece puzzles, speaks another language, reads, has a huge vocab etc - they took her to an educational psychologist person - who said she was genius type bright. They have had to move her to a school where she is now in with 6 year old children. The problems with peers are worse than ever though but at least she is being intellectually challenged
Coco H said:
I meant to add - a friends 3 year old was having similar trouble at nursery - not challenging enough and she was not interating with peers. She was doing 100 piece puzzles, speaks another language, reads, has a huge vocab etc - they took her to an educational psychologist person - who said she was genius type bright. They have had to move her to a school where she is now in with 6 year old children. The problems with peers are worse than ever though but at least she is being intellectually challenged
I am truly shocked that any educational professional would do this.I have highlighted two phrases. Which do you think is more important at the age of 3?
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