Am i growing up or just plain weird?
Discussion
Hi guys. I just want some advice/kind of need to vent a little bit. A bit of background first - between 2006 and 2008 i was doing my A-levels. During this time I was part of a reasonably large group of friends, with whom i had a good time and did the usual things a 16/17/18 year old does. However, it came to the summer of 2008, most people had sorted out places at university, whereas i had managed to secure myself a job as an advanced engineering apprentice with a well known car manufacturer. During the summer i hung out with my friends a lot, but found myself starting to get bored, not only of the things we were doing, but also of my friends in general. A good example of this was at a music festival we all went to - i got completely fed up with the general attitude and decided to go home. Anyway, come september all of the people who were planning to go to university left, and i started my job. There were also a few people who were going on gap years for whatever reason.
So this evening i was invited to go to the pub with a few of my mates who are still around. As the conversation went on, it was uncovered that the four of my mates who were on a gap year are now smoking weed. This shocked me as i am very anti-drugs/anti-smoking and to be honest i never expected them to do it. They then went on to tell me that pretty much all of my mates who are at uni had also started doing it, including my supposed best mate, who is now going out with my ex girlfriend. So i went on to ask these mates what they had been doing, and it turns out that most nights they just go off and get pissed/stoned, and that is pretty much their life. Same for the lot at uni.
So all of this information has made me beg the question - is it weird that i rarely go out drinking, i have never tried smoking or taken drugs, and generally don't live my life in the same way that apparently all of my mates do? My life consists of going to work (which i really enjoy), working on restoring my old mini, hanging out with friends occasionally, and sometimes going to the pub. Most people my age seem to be getting drunk or stoned 90% of the time, so am i weird, or have i just grown up? All of this has made me realise that these people are not really my friends anymore, so to be honest, apart from some very long term friends, and the mates i have made at work, i dont seem to have many friends at all. Yet before, I had loads. What has happened?! Did a similar thing happen to any of you?
Rs.
So this evening i was invited to go to the pub with a few of my mates who are still around. As the conversation went on, it was uncovered that the four of my mates who were on a gap year are now smoking weed. This shocked me as i am very anti-drugs/anti-smoking and to be honest i never expected them to do it. They then went on to tell me that pretty much all of my mates who are at uni had also started doing it, including my supposed best mate, who is now going out with my ex girlfriend. So i went on to ask these mates what they had been doing, and it turns out that most nights they just go off and get pissed/stoned, and that is pretty much their life. Same for the lot at uni.
So all of this information has made me beg the question - is it weird that i rarely go out drinking, i have never tried smoking or taken drugs, and generally don't live my life in the same way that apparently all of my mates do? My life consists of going to work (which i really enjoy), working on restoring my old mini, hanging out with friends occasionally, and sometimes going to the pub. Most people my age seem to be getting drunk or stoned 90% of the time, so am i weird, or have i just grown up? All of this has made me realise that these people are not really my friends anymore, so to be honest, apart from some very long term friends, and the mates i have made at work, i dont seem to have many friends at all. Yet before, I had loads. What has happened?! Did a similar thing happen to any of you?
Rs.
.
People change - simple fact of life.
What gets you through the day and flicks your switch will be different to the next chap, thankfully we are all a bit different!
I had a similar situation not so long ago when I realised that a certain group of friends only really sprang to life when they were shovelling powder up their noses.
As for your original question of 'am I just plain weird'? Sadly there in is the problem - its a catch 22... if you have to ask, the answer is YES... those of us who don't need to ask already know the answer
What gets you through the day and flicks your switch will be different to the next chap, thankfully we are all a bit different!
I had a similar situation not so long ago when I realised that a certain group of friends only really sprang to life when they were shovelling powder up their noses.
As for your original question of 'am I just plain weird'? Sadly there in is the problem - its a catch 22... if you have to ask, the answer is YES... those of us who don't need to ask already know the answer
RsSpyder said:
Hi guys. I just want some advice/kind of need to vent a little bit. A bit of background first - between 2006 and 2008 i was doing my A-levels. During this time I was part of a reasonably large group of friends, with whom i had a good time and did the usual things a 16/17/18 year old does. However, it came to the summer of 2008, most people had sorted out places at university, whereas i had managed to secure myself a job as an advanced engineering apprentice with a well known car manufacturer. During the summer i hung out with my friends a lot, but found myself starting to get bored, not only of the things we were doing, but also of my friends in general. A good example of this was at a music festival we all went to - i got completely fed up with the general attitude and decided to go home. Anyway, come september all of the people who were planning to go to university left, and i started my job. There were also a few people who were going on gap years for whatever reason.
So this evening i was invited to go to the pub with a few of my mates who are still around. As the conversation went on, it was uncovered that the four of my mates who were on a gap year are now smoking weed. This shocked me as i am very anti-drugs/anti-smoking and to be honest i never expected them to do it. They then went on to tell me that pretty much all of my mates who are at uni had also started doing it, including my supposed best mate, who is now going out with my ex girlfriend. So i went on to ask these mates what they had been doing, and it turns out that most nights they just go off and get pissed/stoned, and that is pretty much their life. Same for the lot at uni.
So all of this information has made me beg the question - is it weird that i rarely go out drinking, i have never tried smoking or taken drugs, and generally don't live my life in the same way that apparently all of my mates do? My life consists of going to work (which i really enjoy), working on restoring my old mini, hanging out with friends occasionally, and sometimes going to the pub. Most people my age seem to be getting drunk or stoned 90% of the time, so am i weird, or have i just grown up? All of this has made me realise that these people are not really my friends anymore, so to be honest, apart from some very long term friends, and the mates i have made at work, i dont seem to have many friends at all. Yet before, I had loads. What has happened?! Did a similar thing happen to any of you?
Rs.
How old are you?So this evening i was invited to go to the pub with a few of my mates who are still around. As the conversation went on, it was uncovered that the four of my mates who were on a gap year are now smoking weed. This shocked me as i am very anti-drugs/anti-smoking and to be honest i never expected them to do it. They then went on to tell me that pretty much all of my mates who are at uni had also started doing it, including my supposed best mate, who is now going out with my ex girlfriend. So i went on to ask these mates what they had been doing, and it turns out that most nights they just go off and get pissed/stoned, and that is pretty much their life. Same for the lot at uni.
So all of this information has made me beg the question - is it weird that i rarely go out drinking, i have never tried smoking or taken drugs, and generally don't live my life in the same way that apparently all of my mates do? My life consists of going to work (which i really enjoy), working on restoring my old mini, hanging out with friends occasionally, and sometimes going to the pub. Most people my age seem to be getting drunk or stoned 90% of the time, so am i weird, or have i just grown up? All of this has made me realise that these people are not really my friends anymore, so to be honest, apart from some very long term friends, and the mates i have made at work, i dont seem to have many friends at all. Yet before, I had loads. What has happened?! Did a similar thing happen to any of you?
Rs.
You sound exactly the same as me
My friends smoke it too, and quite alot don't have jobs just uni..
Wow, so some of your mates have started smoking weed, not that big a deal in this day and age is it? You can still be their mate you know! Some of my mates are right monsters when it comes to drink/drugs but I just ignore that part of their lives and concentrate on enjoying the interests we do share. If you're fickle enough to drop friends becasue they don't always make the exact same lifestyle choices you do you may well find your life somewhat empty of good companions in the not too distant future.
Anyway, all that's just a smokescreen (excuse the pun) this is what's really boiling your piss. You're worried he's bigger/better than you.
my supposed best mate, who is now going out with my ex girlfriend.
Rs.
Anyway, all that's just a smokescreen (excuse the pun) this is what's really boiling your piss. You're worried he's bigger/better than you.
RsSpyder said:
my supposed best mate, who is now going out with my ex girlfriend.
Rs.
Get off your high horse! If they want to smoke weed it's hardly a big deal and arguably no worse than alcohol. Just because they enjoy different things doesn't mean you should look down on them as immature. Life is about having, it's not a maturity contest, you should be glad that you're all happy and have found things you enjoy. Maybe you should stop worrying about them and let them make their own decisions.
W00DY said:
Get off your high horse! If they want to smoke weed it's hardly a big deal and arguably no worse than alcohol. Just because they enjoy different things doesn't mean you should look down on them as immature. Life is about having, it's not a maturity contest, you should be glad that you're all happy and have found things you enjoy. Maybe you should stop worrying about them and let them make their own decisions.
+1If you've changed as a person. fair enough, but it would be daft to let something so irrelevant as smoking a bit of weed come between friends.
In a few years time, there will probably be no difference between the lot of you, except they'll have degrees and probably have had more fun in the meantime.
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