Things that never happen in movies
Things that never happen in movies
Author
Discussion

Asterix

Original Poster:

24,438 posts

251 months

Friday 27th February 2009
quotequote all
Going on from the cliche thread, those normal day to day occurences/annoyances that never seem to happen in films.

The hero getting the sleeve of his dressing gown caught on a door handle so that he wheels around and spills his cup of tea.

Or, carryng everything in the righ hand and the keys to the house is in the right hand pocket so you have to dump everything and get the keys out.


Steve Evil

10,801 posts

252 months

Friday 27th February 2009
quotequote all
Ok it's TV, but you never see Jack Bauer charging his mobile, taking a dump or eating anything.

He's a machine!

G'kar

3,728 posts

209 months

Friday 27th February 2009
quotequote all
Nobody ever spots that the geeky, quirky, ugly duck girl in the romcom is in fact a globally famous actress and supermodel regularly featured in the world's top 10 sexiest women polls.

Because she is wearing glasses.

Digga

46,487 posts

306 months

Friday 27th February 2009
quotequote all
Steve Evil said:
Ok it's TV, but you never see Jack Bauer charging his mobile, taking a dump or eating anything.

He's a machine!
That always riled me!

That and all the other 'incidental diversions' like havin gto stop for fuel, or go to the cash point, do the laundry, shift through the ten tonnes of st masquerading as post when you get home of an evening...

HOGEPH

5,249 posts

209 months

Friday 27th February 2009
quotequote all
Having to park 3 streets away from where you want to visit.

Digga

46,487 posts

306 months

Friday 27th February 2009
quotequote all
The ****ing light bulb blows the instant you switch it on.

(My 500W outdoor PIR light below at 6am yesterday as I walked under it. Honestly thought I was being shot at for a moment.)

forsure

2,184 posts

291 months

Friday 27th February 2009
quotequote all
HOGEPH said:
Having to park 3 streets away from where you want to visit.
Coronation St.: Always litter free and always somewhere to park.

DamoLLb

1,775 posts

218 months

Friday 27th February 2009
quotequote all
Put a tenner in the tank. they always fill it up.

Give their bum a good rinse with the showerhead, normally much more of a waterfall experience!

CoolC

4,434 posts

237 months

Friday 27th February 2009
quotequote all
forsure said:
Coronation St.: Always litter free and always somewhere to park.
Going slightly OT, but everyone in Coronation street has a job within a two minute walk of their front door.

Sixpackpert

5,085 posts

237 months

Friday 27th February 2009
quotequote all
Never lock cars. America, safest place in the world clearly.

HOGEPH

5,249 posts

209 months

Friday 27th February 2009
quotequote all
CoolC said:
forsure said:
Coronation St.: Always litter free and always somewhere to park.
Going slightly OT, but everyone in Coronation street has a job within a two minute walk of their front door.
But on the down side, look at all the problems they've had in that street over the years. Bad acting and storylines being only the tip of the iceberg!

Emsman

7,203 posts

213 months

Friday 27th February 2009
quotequote all
Sweetcorn on the end of it?


The jiffle king

7,422 posts

281 months

Friday 27th February 2009
quotequote all
No-one ever seems to clean their teeth....

You find the world's most beautiful lady, wine and dine her, drink lots, take her back to her place, fall on the bed, make love, fall asleep in each others arms, wake up.... and then make love again.. with bad breath!!!!


HOGEPH

5,249 posts

209 months

Friday 27th February 2009
quotequote all
The jiffle king said:
No-one ever seems to clean their teeth....

You find the world's most beautiful lady, wine and dine her, drink lots, take her back to her place, fall on the bed, make love, fall asleep in each others arms, wake up.... and then make love again.. with bad breath!!!!
Not a problem if she is facing away from youlick

minimatt1967

17,362 posts

229 months

Friday 27th February 2009
quotequote all
If they ever visit a supermarket they never queue for the tills rolleyes

We seem to have limited numbers of gears driving, unlike certain film franchises scratchchin

Agoogy

7,274 posts

271 months

Friday 27th February 2009
quotequote all
I could be alone on this one....but it follows on from the cleaning teeth example...

male and female lead characters wake up next to each other the morning after the night before, inches from each other's gorgeous faces they chat romanticly and then commence sucking eachother's mouths off...

err...a) how come their faces aren't puffy..no drool or sleep in their eyes
b)how can they talk so close? their breath must reek!...
c) and then to get stuck in after THAT

funkyrobot

18,789 posts

251 months

Friday 27th February 2009
quotequote all
Reloading. Thats a bugbear of mine (not that I use guns lol).

Watched 'The Kingdom' the other night and a chap was shooting everyone out of a 4x4 truck. He had an M4 I think but it must have been belt fed! He didn't really reload at all.

Another thing in films related to guns is the accuracy of the trusty pump action shotgun. You see people running around with them picking people off from 100's metres away with a shotgun??

This leads nicely on to explosions. I love the way things explode and people just seem to fall over/get thrown. There's no removal of limbs or clothing or ear trauma etc.

STD's. How come there is load of shagging but nobody has to take 5 mins to go to the clinic for a 'scrape'. Shudder!

Key fumbling and falling over. How come people have real difficulty opening doors sometimes with keys. And why do people always fall over when they are being chased by an axe wielding greenpeace fanatic?

Eating and stting have been mentioned above. But what about illness? 'Sorry mate, can't chase them terrorists today, have a migraine'!

Speed cameras and ANPR. Never seen any of these in a film.

etc etc

Edited by funkyrobot on Friday 27th February 09:47

funkyrobot

18,789 posts

251 months

Friday 27th February 2009
quotequote all
Agoogy said:
I could be alone on this one....but it follows on from the cleaning teeth example...

male and female lead characters wake up next to each other the morning after the night before, inches from each other's gorgeous faces they chat romanticly and then commence sucking eachother's mouths off...

err...a) how come their faces aren't puffy..no drool or sleep in their eyes
b)how can they talk so close? their breath must reek!...
c) and then to get stuck in after THAT
They never seem to need a bit of tissue after making the beast with two backs either. And nobody ever complains about the wet patch!

Also, you never hear the gf or wife of the hero moan about him leaving the toilet seat up.

Miss Pitstop

4,289 posts

225 months

Friday 27th February 2009
quotequote all
Nobody in soaps ever finishes a pint, & despite being so strapped for cash they always eat at the cafe a few doors away from home.

And nobody ever sleeps in the wet patch!

Agoogy

7,274 posts

271 months

Friday 27th February 2009
quotequote all
Miss Pitstop said:
And nobody ever sleeps in the wet patch!
Well thats what happens in real life isn't it?... I know I don't heheboxedin