Monday morning rant.............

[SAGPACK]

.......about this government and its stupid computers that don't work. Did my company's annual return on line a few weeks ago, it's cheaper and 'they' want us to do more stuff on line etc. It was easy; received the acknowledgement of submission plus receipt email for the £15 on line filing fee and forgot all about it...fast forward to this Saturday and there's me first thing scratching my a*rse making tea and reading through the post and nestled amongst the usual dross I get was a lovely little message from Co. House...'your annual return is overdue, we will fine you £7500 and you'll have a criminal record blah blah blah...'! WTF! So I frantically check and double check all my emails and the print out copies I took just in case (b*ll*cks to the enviroment) but of course I can't speak to anyone until this morning...I even checked the Co. House website and my registered address has been changed which was one of the things I completed on line when I did the return...what the hell is going on??

Fast forward to this morning, not ten minutes ago, I ring them and long story short....'oh yes, we can see that you did complete the return on line a week before the deadline and some of it did go through but the rest got....stuck!' Whaaaaaat? Stuck? WTF does that mean, you've just threatened me blah blah blah.....'there's no need to take that attitude' says she; 'I'll speak to IT and get them to unstick it, ok.' I gave up at that point, grateful not to be being prosecuted for trying to run a business, employ people, pay taxes and all that b*llocks....and my point is?

Well, apart from getting it off my chest, what hope is there if these muppets aren't able to run a relatively simple filing service on line? How could they possibly implement a speed restricting system in 25 million cars for example, not much hope if my experience is anything to go by, which actually would be a good thing except I don't think it will stop the ecomentallist control freaks in govt from trying and if they kill a few of us along the way, so what!

Anyway, thanks for reading, rant over.

[mrmaggit]

7/10, needs more statistics and numbers. Gets a bonus point for hypotheticizing the future.

[V8mate]

Yep. Way too few statistics. And not nearly abusive enough to 'innocent' call centre operative.

[ironictwist]

Hmmmm...6/10

A lot of random crazy confusing messages twinned with a real lack of swearing means that it could've done alot better...Not bad for first thing Monday though

[Simpo Two]

mrmaggit said:

7/10, needs more statistics and numbers. Gets a bonus point for hypotheticizing the future.

And a point to you for inventing a new word before 10.00am on Monday morning!

[SAGPACK]

ironictwist said:

Hmmmm...6/10

A lot of random crazy confusing messages twinned with a real lack of swearing means that it could've done alot better...Not bad for first thing Monday though

Wow, thanks chaps...not bad for my first ever rant, and a 7/10 from Mr Maggit; I'll certainly take all the advice going and put it to good use next time , BTW, to get a really good score is it essential to really abuse the call centre operative?

[mrmaggit]

Simpo Two said:

mrmaggit said:

7/10, needs more statistics and numbers. Gets a bonus point for hypotheticizing the future.

And a point to you for inventing a new word before 10.00am on Monday morning!

Why thank you!

I couldn't decide whether it was new or not, but I reckon it was near enough.

[215cu]

8/10 from me for the quality of the rant material. Good quality incompetence that should have provoked a good quality rant that could have gone all the way.

6.5/10 for technical merit of the rant; definitely should have gone for more swearage.

[Jazzer77]

8/10 here.

[El Guapo]

I´m afraid I can only give you 5/10 for rantage. Government departments, especially those trying to work with IT and computer systems, deserve much more direct abuse than you managed. Threatening to burn their offices to the ground, for example, would have earned you another point.

[Jasandjules]

Yep, I do like those sorts of Govt things.

We got threatened with court because I hadn't bought a TV license. It was, clearly, far too difficult for them to notice that the TV license was in my OH's name, who by an incredible co-incidence lived at the same address as me. I got a few threatening letters until I wrote to someone a bit higher up and told them I'd be taking them to court if they didn't STFU.. Suddenly it all was happy in TV License Land and they stopped threatening me.

BUT, I always think of someone like my mum who would damn near have a heart attack if she got one of those letters through, just because the Govt are an incompetent bunch of feckwits for whom arranging a p**s up in a brewery equates to a level of difficulty similar to splitting the atom with a rusty swiss army knife.