Dropping out of Uni?
Discussion
I'm just finishing 3rd year of Uni. Have to go back next year to retake two modules I have failed and to do an additonal module to make my degree "legal". My dissertation is due in in 6 weeks time and as yet I still have most of it to do.
I have been suffering with depression quite badly for approx last 12 months - which has led to me not bothering with Uni work hence some failed modules.
I have the opportunity at work to get onto management training scheme - for which I don't need a degree and everyone is confident that I will do really well at it. I can do this alongside Uni work but fear I will ignore the UNi work and end up fluffing it up again if I go through another depressive period.
My parents are not keen for me to drop out of Uni at this stage, so I'm stuck between a rock and ahard place as I really don't know what to do. All of my friends are University educated and are set to get 2:1's or above (or Masters) and so they all think I should stick it out.
I'm fully aware I'll get a load of pisstaking but some serious posts would be nice to - cheers!
I have been suffering with depression quite badly for approx last 12 months - which has led to me not bothering with Uni work hence some failed modules.
I have the opportunity at work to get onto management training scheme - for which I don't need a degree and everyone is confident that I will do really well at it. I can do this alongside Uni work but fear I will ignore the UNi work and end up fluffing it up again if I go through another depressive period.
My parents are not keen for me to drop out of Uni at this stage, so I'm stuck between a rock and ahard place as I really don't know what to do. All of my friends are University educated and are set to get 2:1's or above (or Masters) and so they all think I should stick it out.
I'm fully aware I'll get a load of pisstaking but some serious posts would be nice to - cheers!
Can you redo your uni work at a later date and still pass?
Is your depression caused by being at uni? What else is causing you problems?
I'm sure you can understand your parents point of view.
You need to make the decision that feels right for you - what is your gut feeling?
Hope you can get yourself sorted out. Good luck.
Is your depression caused by being at uni? What else is causing you problems?
I'm sure you can understand your parents point of view.
You need to make the decision that feels right for you - what is your gut feeling?
Hope you can get yourself sorted out. Good luck.
Ozone said:
You need to make the decision that feels right for you - what is your gut feeling?
Fair question, but you can't make good judgements if depressed. The OP knows this, but can't see the way out. It's tough when you're young and in the middle of it - which is exactly why some gentle but professional help will lift the veil. And well done to the OP for analysing it this far 
Simpo Two said:
Deal with the depression - that's the real problem. Get a GP to refer you to a psychologist and get fixed up. Then you can tackle the other issues.
Plus - if you quit now, you set a dangerous precedent for the rest of your life.
What he said.Plus - if you quit now, you set a dangerous precedent for the rest of your life.
Depression no longer has the stigma attached to it - it's a recognised problem. Tackle that first before diving into lifetime decisions.
I understand what you are saying Simpo, and i haven't suffered from depression, but i can see that the OP is under pressure from parents and friends alike. it is too easy to make a choice based on someone elses pressured opinion.
Professional help maybe the answer but not necessarily the be all and end all.
Professional help maybe the answer but not necessarily the be all and end all.
The management training scheme sounds good, and your employers obviously value you to make the offer. Is it though the type of job you see yourself doing as a career, or was it to make some fast fivers whilst at University ?
Try to think long term not just the next couple of years.
I faced a similar choice, went back though and finished my degree, can't say it has made any significant difference to my life one way or the other.
Thanks for the replies so far - greatly appreciated.
Simpo: I know that if I make a judgement now I may come to regret it in the future - so I am wary of this. I have arranged an appointment with my GP for next week to talk about my issues - I haven't yet been to the doctor about it (though have made use of my University's Counselling Service) and am reluctant to use medication.
Ozone/Steamer: I have used mitigating circumstances to get a couple of assignments done, and am awaiting a reply regarding my dissertation extension.
Regarding my issues, I've been living with some "friends" since September and have hated every minute of it. I have now moved back to my parents and live is a little better, but I'm still reeling from having ruined four friendships through being depressed about Uni work, wanting support and unfortunately not getting it from the people that I thought cared about me. My other friends have been really supportive and helped me through a lot, but each week I still have bad days. The Uni work depresses me because I can't do it - getting support when I've asked has been O.K, but a lot of it I left too late, tried to bury my head under a rock. I haven't slept properly for a long time, very interrupted, with strange dreams, and am constantly tired. I "comfort eat" a lot of chocolate at all times of the day and so my diet is not good (though better now my parents are "forcing me" to eat at regular meal times.
I find when I am at work (supermarket) I am apart from the rest of the stuff I think about on a daily basis, and I enjoy working there because of both the work place and the people. My gut feeling is to focus on this, rather than Uni. However I don't want to make a decision I will regret.
Simpo: I know that if I make a judgement now I may come to regret it in the future - so I am wary of this. I have arranged an appointment with my GP for next week to talk about my issues - I haven't yet been to the doctor about it (though have made use of my University's Counselling Service) and am reluctant to use medication.
Ozone/Steamer: I have used mitigating circumstances to get a couple of assignments done, and am awaiting a reply regarding my dissertation extension.
Regarding my issues, I've been living with some "friends" since September and have hated every minute of it. I have now moved back to my parents and live is a little better, but I'm still reeling from having ruined four friendships through being depressed about Uni work, wanting support and unfortunately not getting it from the people that I thought cared about me. My other friends have been really supportive and helped me through a lot, but each week I still have bad days. The Uni work depresses me because I can't do it - getting support when I've asked has been O.K, but a lot of it I left too late, tried to bury my head under a rock. I haven't slept properly for a long time, very interrupted, with strange dreams, and am constantly tired. I "comfort eat" a lot of chocolate at all times of the day and so my diet is not good (though better now my parents are "forcing me" to eat at regular meal times.
I find when I am at work (supermarket) I am apart from the rest of the stuff I think about on a daily basis, and I enjoy working there because of both the work place and the people. My gut feeling is to focus on this, rather than Uni. However I don't want to make a decision I will regret.
Gargamel said:
The management training scheme sounds good, and your employers obviously value you to make the offer. Is it though the type of job you see yourself doing as a career, or was it to make some fast fivers whilst at University ?
I've worked there for four years, know more than some of my managers about day to day operations and the general tasks as I seem to have a lot more common sense than many people. My branch manager thinks I can make a good job of it and they believe I would make a good manager. I enjoy retail and would do it as a career, working up through the ladder.However, I always wanted a job in IT (which isn't ruled out by not having a degree, I know), and my parents have always pushed me towards Uni then Grad Career (I wasn't ever that fussed by going to Uni).
Edited by rfn on Thursday 23 April 00:54
My advice is get the degree. I know two very talented people who dropped out of Uni and they have achieved things in IT that people with PhDs dream about. However, this is an extreme rarity so to avoid prejudices when applying for jobs my advice is have the piece of paper.
I would use a Doctor's diagnosis to buy yourself some time but try to finish what you have started.
I would use a Doctor's diagnosis to buy yourself some time but try to finish what you have started.
I'm not sure what your depression is about, but it sounds to me like you've been procrastinating and now it's too late to finish the work on time and so you're considering the easy way out.
As someone who dropped out for about 2.5 years and went back to get two degrees in the place of one, I recommend you stick with it. What will you do without a degree in this world, sell fish and chips? Unless you want to drift through life in a meaningless manner, then finish what you started.
As someone who dropped out for about 2.5 years and went back to get two degrees in the place of one, I recommend you stick with it. What will you do without a degree in this world, sell fish and chips? Unless you want to drift through life in a meaningless manner, then finish what you started.
It seems to me that for not a great deal of effort you could probably get this degree, you have two years behind you, and it seems that all you need to do is to see a doctor and get your head down for a few weeks. (I know I know easier said than done) I know you don't want to take medication but if the Doc thinks it would be benifical then why not take it 'just to get through the next 6 weeks'. That way you know its not a long term solution.
I know what its like to feel pressure from your parents (whether they intend it or not), you do have to choose what is ultimately right for you, but I think you also need to try to take a step back and see how you might view your decision in the future, will you regret not jumping that final if rather large hurdle.
If you can somehow manage to get your dissertation done in the next few weeks you can re-sit your other modules while you are working. I have been in this situation, I booked two weeks off work, made an appointment with my tutor on the first day of that two weeks found out exactly what I needed to do and did it passed by the skin of my teeth (story of my life!
) You might find that if you are happy at your new job you might find you have the motivation to finish the last two modules, think of graduation day, you get to be the centre of attention (it is possibly just me who liked that)
I know what its like to feel pressure from your parents (whether they intend it or not), you do have to choose what is ultimately right for you, but I think you also need to try to take a step back and see how you might view your decision in the future, will you regret not jumping that final if rather large hurdle.
If you can somehow manage to get your dissertation done in the next few weeks you can re-sit your other modules while you are working. I have been in this situation, I booked two weeks off work, made an appointment with my tutor on the first day of that two weeks found out exactly what I needed to do and did it passed by the skin of my teeth (story of my life!
) You might find that if you are happy at your new job you might find you have the motivation to finish the last two modules, think of graduation day, you get to be the centre of attention (it is possibly just me who liked that)Antidepressants from the doc could well be a useful thing in the short term, they take a few weeks, but should take effect well before the dissertation is due, people describe them as a "crutch" to get you through a mental problem the same way a crutch helps a broken bone heal, this isn't far off, short term use can help you get through things, afterwards you've already weathered the storm, so they can be removed.
Best thing is definitely to speak to the doctor, the same thing doesn't work for everyone, and at least then you have the doctors word in your favour for extenuating circumstances etc.
Best thing is definitely to speak to the doctor, the same thing doesn't work for everyone, and at least then you have the doctors word in your favour for extenuating circumstances etc.
Similar story here - my parents divorced mid-uni and at the same time I was the victim of a serious unprovoked assault in the street. It didn't help my state of mind one bit.
In the end, after talking to the uni, and support from my sister, I was able to re-sit my entire 2nd year and left with a 2:2.
I work in IT, and I can tell you now, if you want to progress up the chain, a degree on the cv will do wonders (even a Desmond
)
I don't regret for a minute the 'waste' of an entire year.
Good luck with whatever you choose!
In the end, after talking to the uni, and support from my sister, I was able to re-sit my entire 2nd year and left with a 2:2.
I work in IT, and I can tell you now, if you want to progress up the chain, a degree on the cv will do wonders (even a Desmond
)I don't regret for a minute the 'waste' of an entire year.
Good luck with whatever you choose!
What they said, I dropped out of a Psychology degree to earn lots in IT, fast forward to today and I apply for jobs stating I have 20 years experience etc and I get a reply "but you don't have a degree".
I'd like to reply with well no but I have been in sole control of multi million pound IT systems so your s
tty company with 10 servers and 100 desktops isn't going to cause a problems but if you want a guy with a degree who has never seen a server room go ahead 
I'd like to reply with well no but I have been in sole control of multi million pound IT systems so your s
tty company with 10 servers and 100 desktops isn't going to cause a problems but if you want a guy with a degree who has never seen a server room go ahead For my tuppence worth OP, you are doing a great job of managing through this. I don't think that a degree will make a blind bit of difference to who you are, and your abilities.
However agree with previous post that a degree is an entry criteria into many roles (rightly, or more often wrongly).
A degree is also a staging post in life, it is an achievement that once you have got it, it can never be taken away. I know it is a struggle, and remember it well, although a few too many years ago now. Particularly with your battle against the black dog going on at the same time. However the success can give you a core of confidence with which to face the world.
If you can get support, be it parental, moral, morale, or pharmaceutical it would feel like a good option to battle on through this.
Only my opinion, and I hope you find the right way for you and the very best of luck
Stu
However agree with previous post that a degree is an entry criteria into many roles (rightly, or more often wrongly).
A degree is also a staging post in life, it is an achievement that once you have got it, it can never be taken away. I know it is a struggle, and remember it well, although a few too many years ago now. Particularly with your battle against the black dog going on at the same time. However the success can give you a core of confidence with which to face the world.
If you can get support, be it parental, moral, morale, or pharmaceutical it would feel like a good option to battle on through this.
Only my opinion, and I hope you find the right way for you and the very best of luck
Stu
Edited by splosher on Thursday 23 April 07:40
Once you've started a degree you should finish it. Rightly or wrongly people will question your commitment if you don't and as people have pointed out many roles require a degree.
Talk to a doctor, and talk to your tutor(s) they will (IME) try to help. Even if that means taking the rest of the year out and repeating it.
Talk to a doctor, and talk to your tutor(s) they will (IME) try to help. Even if that means taking the rest of the year out and repeating it.
mechsympathy said:
Once you've started a degree you should finish it. Rightly or wrongly people will question your commitment if you don't and as people have pointed out many roles require a degree.
Talk to a doctor, and talk to your tutor(s) they will (IME) try to help. Even if that means taking the rest of the year out and repeating it.
Yes. Even if you need to repeat a year it is worth finishing what you started. Talk to a doctor, and talk to your tutor(s) they will (IME) try to help. Even if that means taking the rest of the year out and repeating it.
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