Most inventive 'sickie'

[Invisible man]

Chap just called in sick.......with teflon poisoning!, aparently someone fired up a gas barbie and allowed it to pre heat, he opened the lid and got a faceful of fumes, hence sicknote. I thought he was having a laugh but apparently Dupont who make the stuff have had several claims against them for the same.....who'd have thought

[Cara Van Man]

Don't tell anyone but I called in sick with 'tiger flu' this morning, as others had called in with 'swine flu'.....i mean, who is going to believe them? It's obviously a scam.

Edited by Cara Van Man on Wednesday 29th April 12:15

[Famous Graham]

"It's true, it's true, it's true, really do have tiger flu..."

[Sixpackpert]

Famous Graham said:

"It's true, it's true, it's true, really do have tiger flu..."

"That's neat, that's neat, that's neat, that's neat, I'll stay home off my feet..."

[Justayellowbadge]

Sixpackpert said:

Famous Graham said:

"It's true, it's true, it's true, really do have tiger flu..."

"That's neat, that's neat, that's neat, that's neat, I'll stay home off my feet..."

I can't come in, I've got Glam-dular fever.

[ali_kat]

Sixpackpert said:

Famous Graham said:

"It's true, it's true, it's true, really do have tiger flu..."

"That's neat, that's neat, that's neat, that's neat, I'll stay home off my feet..."

[Cara Van Man]

Justayellowbadge said:

Sixpackpert said:

Famous Graham said:

"It's true, it's true, it's true, really do have tiger flu..."

"That's neat, that's neat, that's neat, that's neat, I'll stay home off my feet..."

I can't come in, I've got Glam-dular fever.

:|

i know this is your era, but for fks sake.

ETS: you are needed on the 'unfunniest comedians thread

Edited by Cara Van Man on Wednesday 29th April 12:19

[Odie]

Not a sickie but a couple of months ago i woke up with a tight throat and had lost my voice (i hadnt felt well for the couple of days before). I was lying their in bed think how the hell am i going to ring in sick when i cant speak..

Ended up croaking down the phone to my boss.. Hurt like hell.

[Steamer]

I've locked myself in the car.

[GreenDog]

Odie said:

Not a sickie but a couple of months ago i woke up with a tight throat and had lost my voice (i hadnt felt well for the couple of days before). I was lying their in bed think how the hell am i going to ring in sick when i cant speak..

Ended up croaking down the phone to my boss.. Hurt like hell.

In 2009 we have email and text - I know it's a bit left-field but could have been worth a try

[digger_R]

Cara Van Man said:

Don't tell anyone but I called in sick with 'tiger flu' this morning, as others had called in with 'swine flu'.....i mean, who is going to believe them? It's obviously a scam.

Try wild boar flu, it's like swine flu only tougher and more masculine

[Dupont666]

GreenDog said:

Odie said:

Not a sickie but a couple of months ago i woke up with a tight throat and had lost my voice (i hadnt felt well for the couple of days before). I was lying their in bed think how the hell am i going to ring in sick when i cant speak..

Ended up croaking down the phone to my boss.. Hurt like hell.

In 2009 we have email and text - I know it's a bit left-field but could have been worth a try

tried that once when i had severe sickness and cold... was told he didnt see it and i had to go in at midday, stupid fking boss then sent me home when he saw bad i was and wasnt lying.

Managed to get an official warning when ill once and rang in, but not to the boss, but to the relationship manager (useless buffer between me and line manager), missed the relationship manager three times in phone calls at 8am, 8:30am and finally at 9am i left a message with her colleague. Went in 2 days later and got called into a meeting to find out that noone remembers me ringing and no message was passed on (previous to that I hadnt been sick in 3 years) so he took it on himself to class me as AWOL.... Not suprising shortly afterwards I asked for a move to another team and he went off with stress as I was the person holding his team of misfits together and i had had enough of his st taking the credit for my work. Noone said a word when he signed himself off for a week and a half...

He has since been asked to leave for being a useless manager and not actually doing anything but surfing the net.

[srob]

Bloke I used to work with phoned in to say he wouldn't be in because he had the millenium bug.

[andy400]

GreenDog said:

Odie said:

Not a sickie but a couple of months ago i woke up with a tight throat and had lost my voice (i hadnt felt well for the couple of days before). I was lying their in bed think how the hell am i going to ring in sick when i cant speak..

Ended up croaking down the phone to my boss.. Hurt like hell.

In 2009 we have email and text - I know it's a bit left-field but could have been worth a try

[benoli]

Invisible man said:

with teflon poisoning!

we have tonnes of pure PTFE (Teflon) fibres in our factory, so immediately i thought what a load of bull

until i found this on Google
http://www.apfn.org/apfn/teflon.htm

[UncappedTag]

I knew someone who phoned in and said he could not open his eyes. Came in next day with a hair cut!!!

Was mentioned on his leaving speach and v.funny

[Jasandjules]

Colleague went with

"I'm stuck in Nigeria due to the riots and the airport is closed"

[LeeThePeople]

Cant beat Steven Ireland not turning up to play for his country because his nan had died, they sent him home on a private jet and sent flowers to his family only to find he was lieing lol

[DrTre]

srob said:

Bloke I used to work with phoned in to say he wouldn't be in because he had the millenium bug.

You used to work with Stephen Hawking?

[maser_spyder]

When I was at college a guy turned up half way in to a lecture and said 'Sorry, got snowed in'.

It was June.