The most bizarre piece of spam email to date

[aclivity]

I've just received the most bizarre piece of spam email I've ever had (so far, that is). Curiously it's not offering to increase my "length" or "stamina" or even please my wife or girlfriend ... it's this:

Spam Mail said:

Wanted:
61 men or women of any age, no prior experience required, for close quarter combat training.

A weekend workshop with RSM Bill Wolfe, Grand Master Martial Artist and instructor of
elite special forces across the globe

You will know more in 2 days than the majority of practicing martial artists

I'm so tempted to go. The email goes on to say:

Spam Mail said:

"I had no previous martial arts training and
this course has shown me all I need to know"

"I'm a Black belt and have been training for 12 years.
I've learned more practical applications in 2 days with Bill
than I have during that entire time"

Instructor Bill Wolfe is a world leading self defence innovator, teacher, mentor, and author. Universally recognised by such martial arts publications as Black Belt, Inside Kung Fu, Martial Arts Combat Sports, Fighter, Close Combat, Martial Arts Illustrated and many more he is also seen on the History Channel as host of "Histories Toughest Soldiers".

A Senior Unarmed Combat Instructor working with such units as the British SAS, U.S. Navy SEALs, Special Forces, Rangers, German GSG9, French Army Commandos, and the Israeli Defense Force in addition to his service as an Instructor for one of the world's most elite anti-terrorist squads, combined with more than 45 years of world wide self defense training and Hall of Fame nomination, gives Wolfe real world experience that speaks for itself.

This hard-won real life training, including operational military service and more than 1,200 arrests as a former veteran city Police Officer, makes Bill Wolfe without question one of the most highly qualified individuals currently instructing CQB to professionals and civilians anywhere in the world.

He's apparently an expert in "Defendo" (wasn't that something from Harry Potter?). Maybe I should sign up, as my current expertise in "fallovero", "cryo" and "runawayo" may not be all I need in the event of my being in a close quarters combat situation?

[cottonfoo]

Why do you read your spam?

Thanks for spamming The Lounge!

[aclivity]

cottonfoo said:

Why do you read your spam?

The title is "Wanted: 61 men or women for close quarter combat training". How could I resist?

I'm now certain that the email isn't spam; I have been specially selected for this offer. I am obviously earmarked as a candidate for close quarters combat. Ha, mere mortals will cower in my presence.

[drivin_me_nuts]

It sound like one of theose galdiator movies where the trainer goes up and down a line marking with yellow and red paint the bits on people where a cut will either wound or kill. Then the lucky 61 become porkchops.

Armless fun. Mostly

[FoolOnTheHill]

Defendo's a safety and restraint self defence system loosely based on ju jitsu. It's supposed to be ok, I mean not a mickey mouse MA, but I've never actually seen it in action.

[voyds9]

Coming to a TV near you, 61 numptys get beaten up every week, eliminations, at the end the survivor is crowned and called the most likely to be called out in the pub.

[skylinecrazy]

voyds9 said:

Coming to a TV near you, 61 numptys get beaten up every week, eliminations, at the end the survivor is crowned and called the most likely to be called out in the pub.

[V6]

cottonfoo said:

Why do you read your spam?

Thanks for spamming The Lounge!

At least he is posting something to liven it up!

OP: Go on the course. It is a certain Mr C. Norris that runs it - I was selected last year. I am now bodyguard for Whitney Houston

[Justayellowbadge]

V6 said:

OP: Go on the course. It is a certain Mr C. Norris that runs it - I was selected last year. I am now bodyguard for Whitney Houston

I'm sorry, but your career is about to turn to crap.

[aclivity]

V6 said:

OP: Go on the course. It is a certain Mr C. Norris that runs it - I was selected last year. I am now bodyguard for Whitney Houston

I'm already covered, I was seconded to the Gecko45 team for a few months, then trained with Specops. I have even worn the special shoes

http://lonelymachines.org/mall-ninjas/

[chunkymonkey71]

Sounds great! Bring on the Defendo!!!

[Dr_Gonzo]

I've just has the exact same piece of spam - twice!