Bit on the side
Discussion
A chap I've known for about 12 years now has had a bit on the side for a wee while (at least 15 years).
He told me one night (under the influence of a beer or 7) that he and his wife hadn't had sex for almost a year when, at an office party, this secretary basically offered it to him. He justified it to himself at the time in a "I've not had a shag for ages so why not?" kind of way.
15 years later and his daughters have grown up and left home (they were his main excuse not to leave his wife). He's told me his woman's putting a bit of pressure on him to leave and he openly admits he doesn't even like his wife but he doesn't want to leave because it'll upset the kids!
My advice was just to do it - his kids will cope (they're 19 and 23 FFS).
I think he just fears change. At the moment his wife cooks his tea and he gets a ride from his girlfriend whenever he wants it. His family is still "whole" and he justifies it (I think) by reminding himself that his wife's a bit of a cow so he doesn't need to feel guilty.
What do you reckon? Was my advice right?
He told me one night (under the influence of a beer or 7) that he and his wife hadn't had sex for almost a year when, at an office party, this secretary basically offered it to him. He justified it to himself at the time in a "I've not had a shag for ages so why not?" kind of way.
15 years later and his daughters have grown up and left home (they were his main excuse not to leave his wife). He's told me his woman's putting a bit of pressure on him to leave and he openly admits he doesn't even like his wife but he doesn't want to leave because it'll upset the kids!
My advice was just to do it - his kids will cope (they're 19 and 23 FFS).
I think he just fears change. At the moment his wife cooks his tea and he gets a ride from his girlfriend whenever he wants it. His family is still "whole" and he justifies it (I think) by reminding himself that his wife's a bit of a cow so he doesn't need to feel guilty.
What do you reckon? Was my advice right?
BoRED S2upid said:
Maybe he fears the divorce payment. Could cost him a fortune. A mate of mine is 36 and is poorer now after a divorce and child than he was at 26 or even 16!.
Next time someone goes on about how trading is so risky and I could lose a fortune, I'll ask them, "Have you been divorced?"Reidy10_0 said:
I would change nothing.
Good food, no devorce settlement to pay and he still gets a shag on tap.
It will all be merry until one day your bit on the side is outside the house screaming her head off until it all goes tits up. As a result - Good food, no devorce settlement to pay and he still gets a shag on tap.
Wife hates you for obvious reasons
Kids think your a c**t
Most of family think your a c**t
Tart on the side hates you as you wouldn't choose her over your wife.
Your left at home aged 40-odd reading pistonheads and jerking off to Desperate Housewives.
Tell all that to your friend.
Edited by CrashTD on Thursday 14th May 13:42
JJCW said:
Iain H said:
parakitaMol. said:
No. Your advice wasn't strong enough.
He is a pathetic snivelling spineless cock and his 'bit' is a stupid needy b
h.
The pair of them sound like they deserve each other.
No punches pulled there, was there? He is a pathetic snivelling spineless cock and his 'bit' is a stupid needy b
h.The pair of them sound like they deserve each other.
WorAl said:
JJCW said:
Iain H said:
parakitaMol. said:
No. Your advice wasn't strong enough.
He is a pathetic snivelling spineless cock and his 'bit' is a stupid needy bh.
The pair of them sound like they deserve each other.
No punches pulled there, was there? He is a pathetic snivelling spineless cock and his 'bit' is a stupid needy b
h.The pair of them sound like they deserve each other.
JJCW said:
WorAl said:
JJCW said:
Iain H said:
parakitaMol. said:
No. Your advice wasn't strong enough.
He is a pathetic snivelling spineless cock and his 'bit' is a stupid needy bh.
The pair of them sound like they deserve each other.
No punches pulled there, was there? He is a pathetic snivelling spineless cock and his 'bit' is a stupid needy b
h.The pair of them sound like they deserve each other.
parakitaMol. said:
JJCW said:
WorAl said:
JJCW said:
Iain H said:
parakitaMol. said:
No. Your advice wasn't strong enough.
He is a pathetic snivelling spineless cock and his 'bit' is a stupid needy bh.
The pair of them sound like they deserve each other.
No punches pulled there, was there? He is a pathetic snivelling spineless cock and his 'bit' is a stupid needy b
h.The pair of them sound like they deserve each other.
depends how good a mate he is. if not that close then that'd be reasonable advice, but i'd be having stonger words with someone i was close to.
a very good mate of mine keeps dumping his OH each time he wants to cheat on her, then getting back together after. they're together again now - for the 4th time! - but i found out at the weekend he is still seeing other girls behind her back. when challenged he said he doesn't find his OH attractive but likes being in a cosy relationship.
won't go into the rest of the conversation, but he has gown down several notches in my estimation and we have agreed it won't be a topic for discussion in future to save continuing the argument. i would pay good money to be a fly on the wall when the inevitble happens.
a very good mate of mine keeps dumping his OH each time he wants to cheat on her, then getting back together after. they're together again now - for the 4th time! - but i found out at the weekend he is still seeing other girls behind her back. when challenged he said he doesn't find his OH attractive but likes being in a cosy relationship.
won't go into the rest of the conversation, but he has gown down several notches in my estimation and we have agreed it won't be a topic for discussion in future to save continuing the argument. i would pay good money to be a fly on the wall when the inevitble happens.
CrashTD said:
Reidy10_0 said:
I would change nothing.
Good food, no devorce settlement to pay and he still gets a shag on tap.
It will all be merry until one day your bit on the side is outside the house screaming her head off until it all goes tits up. As a result - Good food, no devorce settlement to pay and he still gets a shag on tap.
Wife hates you for obvious reasons
Kids think your a c**t
Most of family think your a c**t
Tart on the side hates you as you wouldn't choose her over your wife.
Your left at home aged 40-odd reading pistonheads and jerking off to Desperate Housewives.
Tell all that to your friend.
Edited by CrashTD on Thursday 14th May 13:42
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