I am going to kill a dog.

[okgo]

In bed, its fking sweltering as it is, I am pissed off as my fan is too loud for bedroom use, so imagine my dismay when I have the same thing ringing in my ears all night long keeping me awake..

Its a dog, its not far away (I don't know what house) probably 30 yards, its a yappy fking thing, and it has been going all night. Just barking, every now and again it stirs another bigger dog which joins in. So at the minute my flat sounds like fking Battersea dogs home, I can't close the window as I will overheat.

Now before I go outside in a balaclava and put a brick through the door of the house and stab the dog, what can I do? Who's problem is it? Council? It has been going on for about two weeks now. I dread to think what the direct neighbours think of it!

Any advice? It seems first I get plagued by a fking mentalist who moans all day and night downstairs, now it seems some s dog is out to ruin my sleep aswell.

Ffs.

[TheEnd]

Lets start with the standard reply.

Aww, the poor dog.
It's the owners fault.
They only bark because they want attention.

Unfortunately that little critique of dog psychology won't shut him up, so i'd suggest some kind of potato mortar.
What could be more natural than raining vegetables?

[Ayahuasca]

I hope the dog belongs to the mentalist, that would give me much pleasure.

[JonRB]

Try some ear plugs

[10 Pence Short]

If the dog is a genuine and regular nuisance, you need to speak to your local council. They will have a department for such things and will be able to offer some course of action.

I wouldn't expect anything other than glacial speed, though.

[Mobile Chicane]

If the dog is left to bark its guts out all night and all day, there could be animal welfare issues ongoing, in which case call the RSPCA.

[Tunku]

ASBO everything in a fking mile radius to be sure. That's what I'd do. s.

[horton]

and I will kill everyone who dares not to fit in with my sleep pattern.

The kids who go to school before I wake up, the neighbour comes home after I am in bed, the birds that making a noise at 4am, the bin-men, the thunder storms and my girlfriend.

or I could just wear the ear plugs that I bought when I realised that I dont like noise disturbing me.

live in the middle of nowhere or build a sound proof room if you want silence.

[hadenough!]

okgo said:

I am pissed off as my fan is too loud for bedroom use.

Now for the important question...thats not a ceiling fan your reffering to is it?

[okgo]

horton said:

and I will kill everyone who dares not to fit in with my sleep pattern.

The kids who go to school before I wake up, the neighbour comes home after I am in bed, the birds that making a noise at 4am, the bin-men, the thunder storms and my girlfriend.

or I could just wear the ear plugs that I bought when I realised that I dont like noise disturbing me.

live in the middle of nowhere or build a sound proof room if you want silence.

I didn't say I wanted silence, just spared from this retched animals calls.

That fan.

[thinfourth2]

Just modify your plan slightly


Break in kill the owner and then take the dog home and keep him as a pet

A far easier and more human method

[captainzep]

Steady on OK.

You'll start with killing dogs, then it'll be rent boys and cannibalism.

This can impact on career and relationships.

[Mexico.]

Headphones pink floyd the dark side of the moon job done

[Sheets Tabuer]

[Mexico.]

Funny but uncalled for

[Markh]

A friend of mine had the same problem a few years back, dog barking in her apartment block, she spoke to owner who did nothing, the dog was in the ground floor flat so had a garden. Then she had a brilliant idea (inspired I thought, especially because she is my solicitor) she was working form home one afternoon and said dog was barking again, so she went next door got the dog (owner was at work) put it in the car removed it collar and took it to an RSPCA centere 20 miles away,' sorry to bother you but I just found this dog wandering around the streets, no name tag I guess its astray'

Job done

[Romanymagic]

The solution is of course simple. Kill yourself and then you will find the dog noise (and by way of a bonus, all noise) has stopped!

Simples!

[BoRED S2upid]

7/10. Not a bad rant but honestly, grow a pair and get round there with a bat. Or a chunk of meat laced with sleeping tablets

[cs02rm0]

okgo said:

Who's problem is it? Council?

Sounds distinctly like it's yours.

[pimpin gimp]

okgo said:

In bed, its fking sweltering as it is, I am pissed off as my fan is too loud for bedroom use, so imagine my dismay when I have the same thing ringing in my ears all night long keeping me awake..

Its a dog, its not far away (I don't know what house) probably 30 yards, its a yappy fking thing, and it has been going all night. Just barking, every now and again it stirs another bigger dog which joins in. So at the minute my flat sounds like fking Battersea dogs home, I can't close the window as I will overheat.

Now before I go outside in a balaclava and put a brick through the door of the house and stab the dog, what can I do? Who's problem is it? Council? It has been going on for about two weeks now. I dread to think what the direct neighbours think of it!

Any advice? It seems first I get plagued by a fking mentalist who moans all day and night downstairs, now it seems some s dog is out to ruin my sleep aswell.

Ffs.

I have the same problem, but I know where the fking noise is coming from. My inconsiderate fking assholes of neighbours. bd ttting fks that they are like to leave their 3, yes 3 jack russels in the house all day, and then all night, barking. barking all fking day and night. In a terraced house, which we've sound proofed, and we still hear them, day and fking night... I hate them, stupid shiity little dogs. I'd prefer if the owners were put down to be fair, but will settle for the dogs.

Oh, and when their dogs aren't barking, their baby is crying.. stupid ugly little sprog of a thing. Hate them, hate them, hate them, hate them. bds.

Oh yeah, and apparently it's our fault, because we bought a terraced house and not their fault for not looking after the fking creatures. stty little yappy tts.

Edit.

PS, kill the dog, make me feel better.

Edited by pimpin gimp on Wednesday 3rd June 09:20