Rant about credit/debit cards.

[Balmoral Green]

My signature is normal.

It is NOT fking flamboyant.
It is NOT fking huge.
It is NOT fking over the top.
It is NOT fking ridiculously fancy.
It is NOT fking writ large in a size 60 font.

So how the fk do the credit/debit card companies expect you to sign the fking back of your new fking card properly in the really fking tiny little box that isn't fking big enough to take a perfectly fking normal and average fking signature, and not only that, when you fking try, the fking pen drops into the fking indent left by the card number being punched out from the fking signature side too, so you end up really fking up each and every attempt to sign the fking thing properly.

I have this fking problem every fking time, yet my signature is fking completely, totally utterly fking normal.

Credit/debit card issuers, fking s, I fking hate them, every fking card I fking have has some fking mess on the back that bears no fking resemblance to my fking signature whatsofking ever.

Just fking provide a box big enough to take a normal fking signature you s!

[The Tea Boy]

8/10
BG you let yourself down with the repertition of Fking (sorry)

Matt

[The Moose]

Sorry mate, only 8/10 - really felt the hate, but not hugely imaginative use of swear words - fk said too many times in respect to the quantity ofother words

Better luck next time

Cheers

The Moose

[Hammer67]

fk me if Balmoral Green isn`t Gordon Ramsey.

[Jem Thompson]

I didn't feel any real anger, it seemed as if you were ranting to try and be funny rather than out of pure hatred for the credit card companies. 7/10

[Timmy2TARs]

I liked it. Good rant. The repetitive fks add structure, leading up to a nice crescendo.

My gripe with cards is that they are apparently designed for poor people as you invariably need to use a biro to sign with; the ink from my fountain pen never seems to settle quite right... Don't you know?

[Cookie172]

I didn't know Ozzy had a PH account... nice rant

[strudel]

Debit cars?

[jamoor]

Tried too hard,
Good base, building up to the main part, but I think it feel apart just before that.

Should have used some other swear words to create a barrier between the fks.

Overall 6/10

[Mr Green]

strudel said:

Debit cars?

Credit cars?

[The Tea Boy]

Mr Green said:

strudel said:

Debit cars?

Credit cars?

private banking cheques? cash?

[The Tea Boy]

The Tea Boy said:

Mr Green said:

strudel said:

Debit cars?

Credit cars?

private banking cheques? cash?

or saving staps

[mikechandler]

Can't say it has ever bothered me personally

[Racefan_uk]

Sorry BG, great rant, but let down by the mis-spelling in the thread title.

7/10 this time around.


But I agree with you in the fkwits in the banks putting such stupidy small strips on the back of their cars... I mean, cards!

[King Herald]

Balmoral Green said:

My signature is normal.


So how the fk do the credit/debit card companies expect you to sign

Write smaller, and slower. It works for 600,000,000 other card holders.

[CommanderJameson]

Don't bother signing it. I haven't signed any of my cards for a couple of years now.

[King Herald]

CommanderJameson said:

Don't bother signing it. I haven't signed any of my cards for a couple of years now.

Isn't that the whole concept of the obligatory chip and pin system: you don't need to sign anything?

Here in the USA you don't use the chip and pin, you simply sign an electronic screen, that you agree to abide by the card providers rules. It is not checked against anything, in fact the teller doesn't even see the signature, and doesn't touch the card.

[TheEnd]

d]

Balmoral Green said:

My signature is normal.


So how the fk do the credit/debit card companies expect you to sign

Use a smaller pen*



-* based on similar advice given to a kid at my school with small handwriting to make it bigger

[AngryApples]

Are you Steve Martin in Planes, Trains and Automobiles?

[bazking69]

They also seem to use a shiney plastic material now that seems to repel ball point pens when you try and sign them.