Fantastic Website - In need of a laugh today?

[PD9]

Some timewasting emails. These had me laughing out loud.

http://www.27bslash6.com/matthewsparty.html

http://www.27bslash6.com/overdue.html

http://www.27bslash6.com/buffed.html

http://www.27bslash6.com/strata.html

Edited by PD9 on Friday 5th June 10:27

[Arklight]

You cant beat www.b3ta.com for whiling away the work hours.

[PD9]

Arklight said:

You cant beat www.b3ta.com for whiling away the work hours.

I'll have a browse, cheers for the link

[Ganglandboss]

Barry Chuckle hangliding:

http://www.chairmanmoo.co.uk/article.asp?category=...

[chunkymonkey71]

PD9 said:

Some timewasting emails. These had me laughing out loud.

http://www.27bslash6.com/matthewsparty.html

http://www.27bslash6.com/overdue.html

http://www.27bslash6.com/buffed.html

http://www.27bslash6.com/strata.html

Edited by PD9 on Friday 5th June 10:27

These are genius! I was yesterday at these!!!

[anonymous-user]

PD9 said:

Arklight said:

You cant beat www.b3ta.com for whiling away the work hours.

I'll have a browse, cheers for the link

There's a lot of funny st on that site! thanks!

[Agoogy]

www.engrish.com

[im]

PD9 said:

Some timewasting emails. These had me laughing out loud.

http://www.27bslash6.com/matthewsparty.html

http://www.27bslash6.com/overdue.html

http://www.27bslash6.com/buffed.html

http://www.27bslash6.com/strata.html

Edited by PD9 on Friday 5th June 10:27

Legend.

[Famous Graham]

site said:

From: Jeff Peters
Date: Friday 10 April 2009 1.04pm
To: David Thorne
Subject: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Membership Renewal Due

DO NOT EMAIL ME AGAIN



From: David Thorne
Date: Friday 10 April 2009 1.15pm
To: Jeff Peters
Subject: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Membership Renewal Due

Ok.



From: Jeff Peters
Date: Friday 10 April 2009 1.25pm
To: David Thorne
Subject: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Membership Renewal Due

Is that you being a smartarse or agreeing not to email me again?



From: David Thorne
Date: Friday 10 April 2009 1.32pm
To: Jeff Peters
Subject: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Membership Renewal Due

The middle one.

Edited by Famous Graham on Friday 5th June 12:02

[Shake&Bake]

PD9 said:

Some timewasting emails. These had me laughing out loud.

http://www.27bslash6.com/matthewsparty.html

http://www.27bslash6.com/overdue.html

http://www.27bslash6.com/buffed.html

http://www.27bslash6.com/strata.html

Edited by PD9 on Friday 5th June 10:27

[deviant]

That be the same guy that did the 7 legged spider email....yarggh

[HeavySoul]

Brilliant.

Proper laughs.

[TJD2003]

"As I was about to have my skin raped by a needle, I promised I would give them a plug on the website in return for not making it hurt too much. Despite having to be slapped and told to stop crying like a little bh, I am a man of my word and personally would not let my skin be raped by a needle being wielded by anyone else."

Classic.

If I go bust Im claiming compensation from the OP for distracting me from working.

[PD9]

TJD2003 said:

If I go bust Im claiming compensation from the OP for distracting me from working.

[williamp]

can is ay that i dont find these very funny, and i am on the side of the company. They are just doing their job and, in the case of the chuckle brother, doing a very good job. Why should he have broken the law because the customer (the chuckle) was thick?

Its hard enough doing busienss and chasing invoice payments without someone (who probably thinks they are a "genius" by writing these) acting like a dick

[FoolOnTheHill]

Shocker - blocked at work.

Anyone want to paste some more in?

[Hairspray]

Brilliant.

[swansea v6]

fking brilliant!!!!

[sleep envy]

here you go, chum

We've obtained a series of secret emails written by Barry Chuckle to a local hangliding club.

From: [e-mail]
To: Rotherham Gliding Club
Sent: Monday, April 14, 2002 8:00 PM

Dear Sir

I'm writing to enquire about the possibility of taking hangliding lessons with your firm. I have always wanted to take hangliding lessons, as I find the idea of soaring through the clouds quite beguiling and magical. Please could you furnish me with full details about your courses and how much each lesson would be.

Yours,

Barry Chuckle

PS/ do you charge for helmets? I’ve got an old motorbike helmet in the shed so perhaps this could be taken into account with the pricing

---

From: [e-mail]
To: [e-mail]
Sent: Monday, April 14, 2002 11:05 PM

Dear Mr Chuckle,

Thank you for your interest in our hangliding facilities. Our hourly lesson rates are as follows:

1 hour - £35
2 hours - £50
3 hours - £65

As for your helmet enquiry, by law you would have to use one of ours and so we would be unable to offer you any discount.

Please feel free to drop by anytime for a tour around our premises.

Yours,

Gary Tennant
(Rotherham Gliding Club)

---

From: [e-mail]
To: Rotherham Gliding Club
Sent: Monday, April 14, 2002 11:06 PM

Thanks for your reply,

It seems a bit petty not to allow me to use my own helmet. I mean how much of the cost of each lessons is the helmet? Surely we could come to some arrangement by which I use my own helmet thus discounting the cost of you supplying the helmet yourselves?

Yours,

Barry Chuckle

PS/ What kind of helmet do I need? will an old motorbike helmet do?

---

From: [e-mail]
To: [e-mail]
Sent: Monday, April 14, 2002 2:35 PM

Dear My Chuckle,

I would have to insist you used our own equipment, as it is assured to comply with British Safety Standards. Our helmets and all other items are included in the price of the training and so with or without your own helmet, the charge would be the same. I hope this information has been helpful to you and I hope to see you visiting our centre in the near future.

Yours,

Gary Tennant
(Rotherham Gliding Club)

---

From: [e-mail]
To: Rotherham Gliding Club
Sent: Monday, April 14, 2002 2:36 PM

Yeah but the helmets must cost you something and hence this must be reflected in the price for your lessons. Surely if I was to supply my own helmet then it would save you the trouble and expense of supplying a helmet yourself and this must reflected in at least a small discount on the overall price of the lesson. What type of helmet do you use? I have an old motorbike helmet in the shed can I use this?

Barry Chuckle,

PS/ it’s an old motorbike helmet...will this do? The strap is broken but that could be repaired.

---

From: [e-mail]
To: [e-mail]
Sent: Monday, April 14, 2002 3:57 PM

Mr Chuckle,

I would really have to insist you did not bring your own helmet. I'm afraid your motorbike helmet would not be suitable as all equipment has to be risk assessed before use. I'm sure you must appreciate we have to abide by safety standards.

Yours,

Gary Tennant
(Rotherham Gliding Club)

---

From: [e-mail]
To: Rotherham Gliding Club
Sent: Monday, April 14, 2002 3:58 PM

What kind of helmet is it then? Surely it can’t be that different to s standard motorbike helmet?...If you let us know the exact specifications of the helmet I'll get my cousin to adapt mine and I can use that. How much discount will I get for using my own helmet?

Yours,

Barry Chuckle

PS/ Glad we have come to an agreement! No use you forking out for helmets when I have my own is there?!

---

From: [e-mail]
To: [e-mail]
Sent: Monday, April 14, 2002 5:12 PM

Mr Chuckle,

If you insisted in bringing your own helmet (however it had been adapted) I would have to refuse you admission into our centre. I cannot be flexible with safety laws and must once again inform you that you would have to use our own equipment. I can only assure you that it is perfectly safe and we have many sizes of helmets and harnesses to ensure your personal comfort.

Yours,

Gary Tennant
(Rotherham Gliding Club)

---

From: [e-mail]
To: Rotherham Gliding Club
Sent: Monday, April 14, 2002 5:13 PM

Ohh come on! what difference does it make to you if I supply my own helmet? Safety is one thing but your just been awkward. How much is this helmet racket making you for god sake? It's all well and good supply gliding lessons but your obviously just exploiting people with this ridiculous helmet scam. For fk sake surely a helmet is a helmet? If I supply my own its only decent to offer me a small discount…please supply me a quote for lessons with my own helmet or I shall be forced to aplly elsewhere,

Yours,

B Chuckle

ps/ don't let a helmet spoil it

---

From: [e-mail]
To: [e-mail]
Sent: Monday, April 14, 2002 5:27 PM

Mr Chuckle,

I can only suggest that if you feel that strongly about using your own helmet then you try another centre. However I assure you that no other outdoors centre will indulge you in this. I hope that you will reconsider.

Yours

Gary Tennant
(Rotherham Gliding Club)

---

From: [e-mail]
To: Rotherham Gliding Club
Sent: Monday, April 14, 2002 5:28 PM

fk you.

Your stupid rules have goine and ruined the whole thing. Your absurd helmet rule is making you a laughing stock and you are obviously too stupid to see this. I have nothing but contempt for you and your pathetic facsist laws,

Barry Chuckle

PS/ How much are abseiling lessons?

[him_over_there]

Les_Copeland said:

From: Les Copeland
Date: Thursday 15 Jan 2009 4.19pm
To: David Thorne
Subject: Poor black boy

What kind of a complete fking moron makes fun of starving children? What a pathetic attempt at humour. I have spent time in third world countries and seen children starving with my own eyes and I think you seriously need to grow the fk up.

David_Thorne said:

From: David Thorne
Date: Thursday 15 Jan 2009 6.41pm
To: Les Copeland
Subject: Re: Poor black boy

Dear Lesley,

Thankyou for your kind email, I am glad you enjoyed the website. In answer to your question, no I cannot send you a photo of myself without a shirt on. I have however attached this photo of a mouse riding on a toads back. It is a visual metaphor for how you must have felt writing that last email; magnanimous, the world on your shoulders and moist.


Regards, David.

Les_Copeland said:

From: Les Copeland
Date: Friday 16 Jan 2009 10.28am
To: David Thorne
Subject: Re: Re: Poor black boy

Are you fking retarted? Where did I ask for a photo of you? I wrote to you about the poor black boy page. As If I would want a photo of someone who thinks starving children are funny.
You need a punch in the head. And my name isnt Lesley moron. Tell me where you live and we will see how fking funny you are.

David_Thorne said:

From: David Thorne
Date: Friday 16 Jan 2009 11.02am
To: Les Copeland
Subject: Re: Re: Re: Poor black boy

Dear Lesbian,

Thankyou for your request but I regret that I am unable to provide you with an address as I am homeless. Please send money and/or Lego. I have been collecting lego blocks for nearly four years now as I intend to build my own home. I currently have exactly 1,692,008 blocks of various sizes and only need another 4,836,029 to complete plans of constructing a four bedroom home with sunken lounge and indoor swimming pool. Prior plans to build a home from seawater were abandoned due to physics. The advantages of using lego blocks over traditional building methods, in regards to durability and gaiety of colour, are without question. The only issues are finding a block of land that has a flat green plastic base and gaining council approval but that should not prove a major obstacle as my local member of parliament, Kate Ellis, planet Earth's sexiest space politician, is not adverse to a bribe. Kate Beckinsale is the only other attractive lesbian politician I can think of. The rest are just appalling.

Regards, David.

P.S. I have attached a photo of Kate Ellis as a sexy space girl in case you do not know who she is.

Les_Copeland said:

From: Les Copeland
Date: Saturday 17 Jan 2009 2.09pm
To: David Thorne
Subject: Re: Re: Re: Re: Poor black boy

I have no idea who the fk that is and it wouldnt suprise me if you were homeless loser. spending your time writing st like that instead of getting a real job like a grown up what are you 15? Did your mummy buy you the computer you are using? Why dont you turn off your computer and go outdoors there is a whole world out there. and Les is short for Lester moron. I seriously want to punch you in the fking face.

David_Thorne said:

From: David Thorne
Date: Saturday 17 Jan 2009 2.37pm
To: Les Copeland
Subject: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Poor black boy

Dear moLester,

I appreciate the suggestion but dislike the outdoors, it has bees and sharp sticks in it. Once, when I went camping with my sister and brother, my sister became angry at a comment I made regarding her girth and drove off leaving us stranded two hundred and thirty kilometres from the nearest McDonalds. By the third day we tried eating grass and fought over a small lizard on the fourth. If you and I had known each other then, you could have arranged an emergency Unicef food parcel drop. As it was, we survived only by making love to keep warm and building a vehicle out of our clothing which enabled us to reach the nearest town where we danced for food.

You and I should go camping together some time as you seem like an adventurous, outdoors kind of guy with a love of watersports and everything outdoors. I read somewhere about a father and son who went camping and during the night a tree branch fell on their tent killing the child so I always sleep the furthest distance possible from my son when we are camping together. Safety first. You would be a handy person to have along in case we became lost as we could use your Village People moustache as kindling to create a signal fire and your naturally reflective surface to alert search planes.

In regards to getting a real job, my current position as assistant to the managing assistant in charge of envelopes fills much of my spare time and I have been promised a promotion to assistant to the assistant manager in charge of assistants within ten years. The corporate stepladder has my name on every rung.

Also, I understand your need to assert yourself physically, I too can only experience true intimacy through pain. As I have ventured onto your website and seen your photo, my only requirement would be that we keep the lights off as imagination has it's limits. I have had worse of course, my last girlfriend was the poster girl for 'love is blind' and my current partner is overseas at the moment so the only intimacy in my life involves a stick of salami and the neigbors dog when Glenda & Frank go out Tuesday nights. Once when they arrived home early due to an arguament between them regarding Frank's internet usage, I hid in their wardrobe for four days. As I could see Frank using his computer from my hiding position, I can vouch for his denials to Glenda's accusations that he was "looking at girls on the intenet". He was looking at photos of her. No not really, it was men. To prime myself for your proximity, I have printed your photo out and have it sitting on the couch next to me while we watch a DVD together. Occassionally, I throw an M&M at you and pretend you giggle and tell me to stop it. We are watching Nanny Mcphee which always makes me cry. The bit at the end where her wedding dress materialises out of snow is simply beautiful but my favourite scene is where the robots turn on their human masters.

Regards, David.

Les_Copeland said:

From: Les Copeland
Date: Saturday 17 Jan 2009 6.41pm
To: David Thorne
Subject: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Poor black boy

You are a complete idiot. Dont email me again.

David_Thorne said:

From: David Thorne
Date: Saturday 17 Jan 2009 6.57pm
To: Les Copeland
Subject: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Poor black boy

ok

Les_Copeland said:

From: Les Copeland
Date: Saturday 17 Jan 2009 7.02pm
To: David Thorne
Subject: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Poor black boy

fk off