Man failure confessional

[captainzep]

Right.

List your man failures.

We've had a couple of threads recently dealing with failure at crabbing and lighting a fire without matches. Lets broaden this out and wallow in failure.

I'll start.

-I can't fly a kite. And I sense this is an impending problem with two young children.

-I can't blow a bubble with bubble gum. Just can't.

[schmalex]

I can't click my fingers. I always get the piss ripped out of me by my 5yr old son for this.

[TvrTone]

I cannot fathom out the female of the species!


(edited spelling)

Edited by TvrTone on Saturday 6th June 16:50

[grumbledoak]

I cannot whistle with two fingers in my mouth. Or one, for that matter.

[ShadownINja]

grumbledoak said:

I cannot whistle with two fingers in my mouth. Or one, for that matter.

Ditto. I just put it down to good breeding.

[ajcj]

grumbledoak said:

I cannot whistle with two fingers in my mouth. Or one, for that matter.

Me neither, always felt that I'm not quite the full man because of it.

[Oakey]

grumbledoak said:

I cannot whistle with two fingers in my mouth. Or one, for that matter.

Same!

I used to be able to a bit, but I got a small chip in my front tooth at some point and think this prevented me afterwards.

[Getragdogleg]

I cannot do any kind of decorating. I can happily restore a whole car, paint,trim,mechanicals, but if i am given a pot of paint and a wall it will pickle, bubble, catch fire anything but go on nicely. I also seem to be unable to "do" woodwork as well as I would like.

[Chilli]

I can do absolutely nothing. Nitto. Whatever DIY project I do, I feck it up. Anything mechanical will never work again.

[skip_1]

I can barely whistle with no fingers at all.

[bob1179]

I can neither throw or catch any ball type object particularly well.

I'm also crap at kicking footballs, they always end going off in a completely random direction, much like in that Peter Kay advert for John Smiths, 'ave it!

[stigmundfreud]

I cant cum during sex

[anonymous-user]

I am so bad at being a bloke, i fail at more or less everything i do, includding tpying!

[Oakey]

stigmundfreud said:

I cant cum during sex

At least you and your wife share something in common

[stigmundfreud]

Oakey said:

stigmundfreud said:

I cant cum during sex

At least you and your wife share something in common

twice in one afternoons postings. I'm off to thailand

[Oakey]

stigmundfreud said:

Oakey said:

stigmundfreud said:

I cant cum during sex

At least you and your wife share something in common

twice in one afternoons postings. I'm off to thailand

Woah, no need to go and hang yourself in a closet over it!

[elster]

I think i tick the man boxes on most things:

Car fixing
DIY
Engineering
Drinking Farting
Sports
Scars


I think I may well fall down at the football, I can kick it around, just don't support a team. Same with rugby, like the game just no specific team.

[NDA]

I can't make the Owl noise through cupped hands.

God I've tried.

I've got normal hands, a mouth, lungs and everything. Why can't I do it?

[Funk Odyssey]

football -- it's just st isn't it?

in fact - any kind of sport on the TV


and lager --- rank fizzy p1ss

[stifler]

stigmundfreud said:

I cant cum during sex

Woah, is that true?

Is that a result of the accident?