Help!! I need a Fancy dress costume by Saturday!!

[Portrait]

Help me find something! The more amusing the better! I'm male if that helps. Oh, and don't forget to post links!

Cheers, Dave.

[TheEnd]

QI buzzer for the first 007/tux suggestion

overalls will labels + motorbike helmet = race car driver?
leather jacket + silver paint = terminator?

[eldar]

Stick your dick in your ear, and go as a petrol pump. Impresses the ladies...

[Hairspray]

Go to a charity shop, buy cheap clothes, cut them up, wear an eye patch with some dodgy make-up. Buy stuffed parrot.

You are now a pirate.

[Portrait]

Hairspray said:

Go to a charity shop, buy cheap clothes, cut them up, wear an eye patch with some dodgy make-up. Buy stuffed parrot.

You are now a pirate.

Too easy and obvious!

I did find this: LOOK!

[crofty1984]

Find friend of different stature to yourself.
White shirts, suits black ties, hats and sunglasses.
You are now the blues brothers.

[pringle1988]

Portrait said:

Hairspray said:

Go to a charity shop, buy cheap clothes, cut them up, wear an eye patch with some dodgy make-up. Buy stuffed parrot.

You are now a pirate.

Too easy and obvious!

I did find this: LOOK!

That is awesome!

[elster]

Put an ill fitting suit on.

Strap a dildo to your head

Two easy steps to look like Gordon Brown.

[GreenDog]

Go as Dr Zoidberg from Futurama

[allegro]

Once bought a penguin suit, cane and top hat, dyed them purple and went to a bash as Willy Wonka! (Gene Wilder) Filled my pockets with sweets and handed them out to all the fillies. Went down a storm

Edited by allegro on Monday 8th June 22:48

[dickbastardly]

not sure if you have the balls to wear this!!
http://cgi.ebay.co.uk/BORAT-MAN-THONG-MANKINI-FANC...
HTH
Andy

[anonymous-user]

Go as a fire alarm!!!

Strip naked, put a milk bottle on your cock, with a sign around your neck saying smash glass! pull! and i'll come as quick as I can!

[dickbastardly]

not sure if you have the balls to wear this!!
http://cgi.ebay.co.uk/BORAT-MAN-THONG-MANKINI-FANC...
HTH
Andy

[Portrait]

dickbdly said:

not sure if you have the balls to wear this!!
http://cgi.ebay.co.uk/BORAT-MAN-THONG-MANKINI-FANC...
HTH
Andy

I dom't I could face going out in that! Could be a little cold too!!

[RDMcG]

Need denim shirt and jeans, a few boxes of tampons, blue dye,blue suede shoes.
Dye the tampons blue., attach the over yourself liberally.

You go as Picasso's blue period.

[Pints]

Go as a tortoise!

[dickbastardly]

ok this is it!!
You do need to be hung like a horse though!!
http://cgi.ebay.co.uk/INFLATABLE-HORSE-RIDING-COWB...
Andy

[HOGEPH]

Stick a condom on your face. When they ask what you are dressed as say..

fk Nose!

---

And now time for another old joke.

There's this man with a bald head and a wooden leg who gets invited to a fancy dress party. He doesn't know what costume to wear to hide his head and his leg so he writes to a fancy dress company to explain the problem.

A few days later he receives a parcel with a note. "Dear Sir, please find enclosed a pirates outfit. The spotted handkerchief will cover your baldhead and with your wooden leg you will be just right as a pirate".

The man thinks this is terrible because they have just emphasised his wooden leg and so he writes a really rude letter of complaint. A week passes and he receives another parcel and a note which says "Dear Sir, sorry about before, please find enclosed a Monks habit. The long robe will cover your wooden leg and with your bald head you will really look the part".

Now the man is really annoyed since they have gone from emphasising his wooden leg to emphasising his bald head and he writes the company a REALLY rude letter of complaint. The next day he receives a small parcel and a note which reads.....

"Dear Sir, please find enclosed a tin of treacle. Pour the tin of treacle over your bald head, stick your wooden leg up your arse and go as a toffee apple, you ."

[tommobot]

I think this gets my vote for the best fancy dress costume ever made.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=mKYraMhRVjA&NR=...

Epic!

[Portrait]

dickbdly said:

ok this is it!!
You do need to be hung like a horse though!!
http://cgi.ebay.co.uk/INFLATABLE-HORSE-RIDING-COWB...
Andy

I'm liking that! Cheap aswell.

I'm also tempted by this one: Postman Pat

Anything interesting I can write on the envelope's for the ladies?

Edited by Portrait on Monday 8th June 23:09