Kids homework - let them decide?
Discussion
I'm particularly interested in the views of fellow parents...but as everyone on PH is an expert on everything, all views are very welcome.
My kids are aged 10 and 8, in a nutshell...they get IMO far too much homework.
It causes tension in my house having to virtually tie them to the table and threaten them to get them to do it. I'm sure any parent of kids at school age knows exactly what I'm talking about.
So I've decided...I'm not going to make them do their homework any more. I will give them the option to do it, let them know why they should make the effort and that I will of course help if they're struggling...but I'm not doing it for them. If they don't do it, them they need to realise there may well be implications which they will have to deal with...detention, having to see the head teacher etc. If the teachers don't like it, I will explain where I stand on the issue and they can shove their stupid homework up their asses for all I care.
My kids are very bright and in the top sets for everything.
I don't need the stress of homework, and neither do they. I'd rather they were out playing and getting some exercise...!
What 'ya recon?
My kids are aged 10 and 8, in a nutshell...they get IMO far too much homework.
It causes tension in my house having to virtually tie them to the table and threaten them to get them to do it. I'm sure any parent of kids at school age knows exactly what I'm talking about.
So I've decided...I'm not going to make them do their homework any more. I will give them the option to do it, let them know why they should make the effort and that I will of course help if they're struggling...but I'm not doing it for them. If they don't do it, them they need to realise there may well be implications which they will have to deal with...detention, having to see the head teacher etc. If the teachers don't like it, I will explain where I stand on the issue and they can shove their stupid homework up their asses for all I care.
My kids are very bright and in the top sets for everything.
I don't need the stress of homework, and neither do they. I'd rather they were out playing and getting some exercise...!
What 'ya recon?
Edited by Hyperion on Monday 8th June 22:44
I'm a bit 50/50 on this one, I believe that homework is a good thing and helps children understand and develop within their classes more effectively. However I still subscribe to the fact that home is no substitute for the classroom, and should not compensate for teachers/schools not providing schooling in class time.
So in a nutshell, homework is good, but in moderation, but only as a supplement for school work. But at aged 10, should children really have those levels of committment imposed on their lives, probably not, plenty of time from 14 onwards IMAO.
So in a nutshell, homework is good, but in moderation, but only as a supplement for school work. But at aged 10, should children really have those levels of committment imposed on their lives, probably not, plenty of time from 14 onwards IMAO.
Make them do it. when they hit 15 plus they'll need to be in the habit.
I used to be good at hiding the fact that I had homework, so wasn't made to do it. even now, I'm terrible at actually knuckling down and studying. My fault completely of course.
But it would benefit them in the long run to do it now. They say at GSCE you get the grades you're capable of (you can get by on intelligence and common sense) but at A level you get the grades you deaerve. Then at uni it's too late.
I used to be good at hiding the fact that I had homework, so wasn't made to do it. even now, I'm terrible at actually knuckling down and studying. My fault completely of course.
But it would benefit them in the long run to do it now. They say at GSCE you get the grades you're capable of (you can get by on intelligence and common sense) but at A level you get the grades you deaerve. Then at uni it's too late.
All my homework was done on the bus into school the next day, I hated it. I was never very academic though, I found school far too rigid when it came to learning.
I think your policy is sound, as long as they're doing well. Don't force them to do it but let them face the music if they don't. Forcing them will only make you the bad guy, instead of their teacher.
I think your policy is sound, as long as they're doing well. Don't force them to do it but let them face the music if they don't. Forcing them will only make you the bad guy, instead of their teacher.
No I disagree. At age 8 and 10 they do not have the ability to discipline and motivate themselves to do this stuff. I agree that sometimes the homework seems is excessive, but the last thing they need is you throwing your hands up and letting them 'sink or swim'.
As far as I'm concerned, about 90% of being a good parent is making kids do stuff they don't want to do, or stopping them from doing stuff that they WANT to do!!
We must apply our painfully acquired wisdom to help them, and remember that it was painfully acquired because OUR parents beat it into us (metaphorically) or by our own trial, error and hindsight.
As far as I'm concerned, about 90% of being a good parent is making kids do stuff they don't want to do, or stopping them from doing stuff that they WANT to do!!
We must apply our painfully acquired wisdom to help them, and remember that it was painfully acquired because OUR parents beat it into us (metaphorically) or by our own trial, error and hindsight.
at that age my sister always wanted to do it, I never did of course... My sister is now a trainee solicitor and im an ex uni student who put far too little effort in to get a great degree and works in a phone shop! I obviously go on about how I did a much harder degree than her when she boasts about her 1st and she rips me about my Desmond!...
al in all im not sure... I have mates who never did any bloody work even though school and came out with good degrees and others who worked their socks off and came out with ok/good degrees
al in all im not sure... I have mates who never did any bloody work even though school and came out with good degrees and others who worked their socks off and came out with ok/good degrees
I was once in charge of getting a grumpy 8-year-old to school.
'If you don't get up in time you'll get b
ked by the teacher'
'Grump'.
Kid went to school late. Got bked by the teacher.
'I got bked by the teacher'
'Yes, I told you so. Next time maybe you'll listen, because I'm older than you and therefore I'm always right. Gottit?'.
'If you don't get up in time you'll get b
ked by the teacher''Grump'.
Kid went to school late. Got b
ked by the teacher.'I got b
ked by the teacher''Yes, I told you so. Next time maybe you'll listen, because I'm older than you and therefore I'm always right. Gottit?'.
crofty1984 said:
Make them do it. when they hit 15 plus they'll need to be in the habit.
I used to be good at hiding the fact that I had homework, so wasn't made to do it. even now, I'm terrible at actually knuckling down and studying. My fault completely of course.
But it would benefit them in the long run to do it now. They say at GSCE you get the grades you're capable of (you can get by on intelligence and common sense) but at A level you get the grades you deaerve. Then at uni it's too late.
Nail. Head.I used to be good at hiding the fact that I had homework, so wasn't made to do it. even now, I'm terrible at actually knuckling down and studying. My fault completely of course.
But it would benefit them in the long run to do it now. They say at GSCE you get the grades you're capable of (you can get by on intelligence and common sense) but at A level you get the grades you deaerve. Then at uni it's too late.
Mines is just moving into the A level course at the moment and it's fair to say that she has coped rather well with her GCSE's doing the bare minimum, so at aged 10 although I think the more they do, the better they will be, it's not really an absoloute neccessity that all homework is done. A-level is a completely different story though, and I'm now worried that her study habbit will not be good enough due to the fact she more or less "cruised" the past 2 years...
i can see the logic of getting kids into the habit of studying under their own steam, but get frustrated by the variable amount that my daughter is given ( shes 14 ), it varies from 45-60 mins and then like this last weekend nowt. I'd prefer her to knwo that she's likely to have a set amount each day so that she can plan/get into a routine. however having said this, i feel that many kids have pretty long days given that many secondary schools are some distance. up at 6.45 to leave home 7.25 back home 4.40 and then homework. at her age i have to admit that i used to do alot of mine on the way to school, which allowed me to get out and have a bit of a social life after school - i used to get home at about 5, so with the option of a game of footie or h/work it was a no brainer. whats equally frustrating is the fact that often the teachers pressure the kids to dliver something by a deadline and then deflate the kids by not acknowledging those that have completed the assignment, or not b0&&ocking those that havent handed it in. many times daughter has shown me her efforts and when i've asked a few days later what the teacher thought she's said that it hasnt been marked ( and having checked her school planner in case of the odd fib she's been right). Bit of sense in the amounts/deadlines, bit of encouragement...my 4 penneth
Does the school have a set policy on length of time spent on each piece of homework? My daughter (15 yo) has 40 minutes per subject (sometimes three pieces a night) and the school don't expect her to spend any longer on it. It's not compulsory for the pieces to be completed no matter what.
Unfortunately for her, she is one of those conscientious types who wants to finish each subject no matter how long it takes, which can sometimes leave her with no time to be a teenager or get to bed at a reasonable time. Still doing homework past 9 o'clock is a big no-no in our house.
When all this boils up to become a problem we start to rigidly enforce the 40 minute rule and she absolutely hates this, thinking she'll get in trouble with the teachers. She doesn't, of course, because her teachers are aware that people have different work rates and don't expect each pupil to excel at every subject.
Unfortunately for her, she is one of those conscientious types who wants to finish each subject no matter how long it takes, which can sometimes leave her with no time to be a teenager or get to bed at a reasonable time. Still doing homework past 9 o'clock is a big no-no in our house.
When all this boils up to become a problem we start to rigidly enforce the 40 minute rule and she absolutely hates this, thinking she'll get in trouble with the teachers. She doesn't, of course, because her teachers are aware that people have different work rates and don't expect each pupil to excel at every subject.
Sorry, 8 to 10 and how much homework?
Surely until they are 13-14 they should be kids. Once they hit 12-13 then it's time to start with the GCSE line of approach but nice and slowly.
To my mind it's how bright are your kids. If thick as pig s**t, then they'll need to do loads of homework, but if they are bright enough then they won't?? Plus, the bottom line is should they really be knuckling down right now? I don't think so. They've got a few years before it's time to worry about GCSE results ?
Surely until they are 13-14 they should be kids. Once they hit 12-13 then it's time to start with the GCSE line of approach but nice and slowly.
To my mind it's how bright are your kids. If thick as pig s**t, then they'll need to do loads of homework, but if they are bright enough then they won't?? Plus, the bottom line is should they really be knuckling down right now? I don't think so. They've got a few years before it's time to worry about GCSE results ?
I have a very similar dilemma with my eldest two age 11 and 9 being really bogged down with homework some nights. I too, would rather they were out on their bikes/messing about in the woods (in other words, being kids having fun) but also see the advantages of setting them up for when they are older with good study habits. I think there is too much homework allocated in primary school - certainly far more than we ever got - I'd rather they worked hard in school and spent less time on all the trendy subjects then perhaps just got reading/spelling/tables to learn at home.
Interesting set of (surprisingly intelligent) replies there...
To be honest, it's more my Son who we have the problems with...my daughter will just get on and do it.
It's a bit of a cliche...but I never did any homework at school - and it never did me any harm!
When I said they were in the top sets...the class is generally divided into tables based on ability. The thickos sit at one table, and the cleaver kids sit on another...quite often the cleaver kids will set with the thickos to help them out(which I think is totally wrong, but that's a rant for another day)...my kids sit with the clever kids. So I'm not particularly worried about their ability, which I know will carry them through life.
More often than not, it's us as parents who end up doing their homework for them...what's the point in that? (and I know, from talking to other parents I'm not the only one!)
To be honest, it's more my Son who we have the problems with...my daughter will just get on and do it.
It's a bit of a cliche...but I never did any homework at school - and it never did me any harm!
When I said they were in the top sets...the class is generally divided into tables based on ability. The thickos sit at one table, and the cleaver kids sit on another...quite often the cleaver kids will set with the thickos to help them out(which I think is totally wrong, but that's a rant for another day)...my kids sit with the clever kids. So I'm not particularly worried about their ability, which I know will carry them through life.
More often than not, it's us as parents who end up doing their homework for them...what's the point in that? (and I know, from talking to other parents I'm not the only one!)
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