2 working parents? How to manage the school run & holidays?
Discussion
As kids, my brothers and I always had Mom at home to meet us when we got home from school and during the school holidays but its different for me and my own family.
The first of my own children is about to go to school in September. Both my wife and I work. It's our decision, we're both upper management and are well-paid yet not well-enough to support the lifestyle-choices we've made. We don't work weekends and very rarely work late, so despite working all day, we still feel we get to spend quality time with our children, however I am aware that both parents working presents problems I hadn't considered until now. School starting times are such that we're not left with enough travel-time to get to work, and kids leave school mid-afternoon, while we're still at work.
Both of these problems have solutions in the form of "breakfast" and "after school" clubs which cost quite a lot of money but is well-worth it in our opinion.
The problem we can't resolve is school holidays. Yes, I know there are "holiday clubs" just like the "breakfast" and "after school" clubs, and I know my own kids would never blame us for our decision to work, but I feel a little sense of loss on their behalf, mainly because I remember really enjoying my own time away from school. I loved the completely unstructured life of getting up when I felt, and just playing all day.
Obviously, when they are older, I'm hoping they will be trust-worthy-enough that we could leave them home-alone (this is going to be in another decade) but until then I feel sad for them that they will not be able to lounge all day in front of the TV, or whatever.
That said, not lounging in front of the TV all day is a very definitely positive.
So, the question is, what do you lot do, and what would you rather do?
The first of my own children is about to go to school in September. Both my wife and I work. It's our decision, we're both upper management and are well-paid yet not well-enough to support the lifestyle-choices we've made. We don't work weekends and very rarely work late, so despite working all day, we still feel we get to spend quality time with our children, however I am aware that both parents working presents problems I hadn't considered until now. School starting times are such that we're not left with enough travel-time to get to work, and kids leave school mid-afternoon, while we're still at work.
Both of these problems have solutions in the form of "breakfast" and "after school" clubs which cost quite a lot of money but is well-worth it in our opinion.
The problem we can't resolve is school holidays. Yes, I know there are "holiday clubs" just like the "breakfast" and "after school" clubs, and I know my own kids would never blame us for our decision to work, but I feel a little sense of loss on their behalf, mainly because I remember really enjoying my own time away from school. I loved the completely unstructured life of getting up when I felt, and just playing all day.
Obviously, when they are older, I'm hoping they will be trust-worthy-enough that we could leave them home-alone (this is going to be in another decade) but until then I feel sad for them that they will not be able to lounge all day in front of the TV, or whatever.
That said, not lounging in front of the TV all day is a very definitely positive.
So, the question is, what do you lot do, and what would you rather do?
Mars said:
Matt.. said:
You have kids... one of you at least should be spending more time with them, not looking for ways to get other people to look after them.
Oh, thanks for your judgement..!! 
Every cloud has a dirty black lining.
Mars said:
Matt.. said:
You have kids... one of you at least should be spending more time with them, not looking for ways to get other people to look after them.
Oh, thanks for your judgement..!! My parents have both managed to work full time and raise three kids. Being one of them, I'd say they have done a very good job too! 
A mixture of these after schools clubs and understanding friends and relatives have been invaluable, and saving up holiday for the summer so you can split it between maybe 1 day a week each and then the other three at clubs/camps/with friends and relatives
A mixture of these after schools clubs and understanding friends and relatives have been invaluable, and saving up holiday for the summer so you can split it between maybe 1 day a week each and then the other three at clubs/camps/with friends and relatives Mars said:
Christ, how to miss the point..!!
We work, sorry if that offends you, and I have solutions to the logistics. But I'm curious how other people manage their similar situation.
So many armchair/internet judges on PH. Makes me wonder if there's any point in posting these days.
You were the one who raised the cost issue...you can't blame people for pointing out the obvious.We work, sorry if that offends you, and I have solutions to the logistics. But I'm curious how other people manage their similar situation.
So many armchair/internet judges on PH. Makes me wonder if there's any point in posting these days.
To be "constructive", you can do summer clubs, get a child minder or nanny, prevail upon grandparents, but at the end of the day one of you will have to flexible work. Sorry.
ETA - Both my parents worked too, but in jobs which allowed for flexible working when I was young.
Edited by loafer123 on Tuesday 9th June 20:55
Hairspray said:
My parents have both managed to work full time and raise three kids. Being one of them, I'd say they have done a very good job too! A mixture of these after schools clubs and understanding friends and relatives have been invaluable, and saving up holiday for the summer so you can split it between maybe 1 day a week each and then the other three at clubs/camps/with friends and relatives
Thank you - seriously. I thought there might be some people out there who might not see me as the Devil simply because we're trying to provide for our kids' futures, or because we don't fit into their idea of normal. I mean, it's not even *my* idea of normal but I'm trying to make it work as painlessly as possible. Hearing that you don't feel as though you've missed out in any way is good to hear. A mixture of these after schools clubs and understanding friends and relatives have been invaluable, and saving up holiday for the summer so you can split it between maybe 1 day a week each and then the other three at clubs/camps/with friends and relatives Thanks again.
odyssey2200 said:
No I meant the MIL the Grandparents
Sorry I was not having a pop!
Me and SWMBO both work full time and we have 3 boys 13,9 and 6.
Wasn't aimed at you. I don't always quote when I reply so the order the reply falls might not look right. Thanks for your reply and apologies for misunderstanding.Sorry I was not having a pop!
Me and SWMBO both work full time and we have 3 boys 13,9 and 6.
Mars said:
odyssey2200 said:
No I meant the MIL the Grandparents
Sorry I was not having a pop!
Me and SWMBO both work full time and we have 3 boys 13,9 and 6.
Wasn't aimed at you. I don't always quote when I reply so the order the reply falls might not look right. Thanks for your reply and apologies for misunderstanding.Sorry I was not having a pop!
Me and SWMBO both work full time and we have 3 boys 13,9 and 6.
no worries.
TBH its the one reason why I have never moved away from the town the OH and I grew up in.
We have a great support infrastructure only a 5 minute drive away.
Edited by odyssey2200 on Tuesday 9th June 21:05
loafer123 said:
You were the one who raised the cost issue...you can't blame people for pointing out the obvious.
Only that we couldn't afford to run our house on one salary, hence the decision to both work.If we both work, we can afford childcare and everything else important to us as a family (not just to the parents). The sense of "loss" is felt by the parents, not the kids who seem to enjoy their time with the various childcare arrangements we have in place. With this sense of loss in mind, we have both negotiated a normal working time that enables us to be home in time for dinner, play, bath and bed. And we have limited our overtime, probably to the detriment of our jobs but we're not career-minded - we only want to provide an income - s that doesn't matter.
loafer123 said:
To be "constructive", you can do summer clubs, get a child minder or nanny, prevail upon grandparents, but at the end of the day one of you will have to flexible work. Sorry.
No need to apologise for pointing out the options. We have limited local family access (my Mom only - but she has other responsibilities).However I like your idea of a childminder. That sounds like a good idea. Have someone come to our house during the day. It'll give the kids the freedom at home, with someone overseeing them. There are a couple of potentials for this role too.
Thanks.
loafer123 said:
ETA - Both my parents worked too, but in jobs which allowed for flexible working when I was young.
What did you do during the 6-week Summer hols? That's the one I can't visualise any particular solution over the others at the mo.Gassing Station | The Lounge | Top of Page | What's New | My Stuff