A caveman v professional boxer
A caveman v professional boxer
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Matt UK

Original Poster:

18,080 posts

222 months

Tuesday 9th June 2009
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hehe Sorry in advance for a silly thread after a few beers... but this is the result of what turned into a lively and at times heated pub conversation between normally rationale people..

So, a professional boxer goes back in time and comes face to face with a caveman. It kicks off.

The key points being made.

Caveman:
He is basically a killing machine. No training, just raw instinct.
It's what he does everyday in order to stay alive and always has done.
In order to have become an adult, he would have taken more than a few knocks.
He'll have animal aggression that a modern human will not possess any more.
He'll use stones and maybe a club.
He'' be small and quick and use all sorts of dirty tactics.

Professional boxer:
Modern advances mean he'll be bigger.
He knows how to hit people with the intention of them not getting up again.
He trains everyday and is at the height of his physical fitness and strength.
He can handle being hit by things / people.
He'll be quick and have good reflexes.
One well landed punch would do the job - end of.

Who would your money be on then?


Rach*

8,824 posts

238 months

Tuesday 9th June 2009
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Caveman!!

ShadownINja

79,238 posts

304 months

Tuesday 9th June 2009
quotequote all
Caveman with rocks and a club. Put it this way. I could take on Mike Tyson and win. Cos I'll get in the ring with a 3 foot long razor sharp ninja sword and cut his hands off before he can take a swing at my masked face. I don't think they learn how to disarm ninjas in boxing school.

thumbup

Landlord

12,689 posts

279 months

Tuesday 9th June 2009
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Matt UK said:
He'll use stones and maybe a club.
There's your answer, dude. Plus "it's not the dog in the fight, it's the fight in the dog." Cavey would go mental whilst Boxer-man would be show-boating.

al1991

4,552 posts

202 months

Tuesday 9th June 2009
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Come on the caveman can take on wild cats! Caveman all the way!

Rotary Madness

2,285 posts

208 months

Tuesday 9th June 2009
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Besides if we're talking neanderthal cavemen, they went around killing big nasty animals in the freezing snow, and there face was a huge peice of bone, probably break the boxers hand just hitting it hehe

Matt UK

Original Poster:

18,080 posts

222 months

Tuesday 9th June 2009
quotequote all
Well, I went with caveman.

But...

I was told that a caveman would have been about 5ft tall (is this true?) and whippet thin vs a 7ft boxer. The power differential would have been huge.

Also, cavemen used to hunt in a group to bring down big prey.

And they tended to 'ambush' as opposed to 'straight combat'.

All I'll say is that my mate put up a convincing argument, but seemed to know way, way too much about cavemen!!

ofcorsa

3,542 posts

265 months

Tuesday 9th June 2009
quotequote all
ShadownINja said:
Caveman with rocks and a club. Put it this way. I could take on Mike Tyson and win. Cos I'll get in the ring with a 3 foot long razor sharp ninja sword and cut his hands off before he can take a swing at my masked face. I don't think they learn how to disarm ninjas in boxing school.

thumbup
boxers im sure could pick up a big stick too

Matt UK

Original Poster:

18,080 posts

222 months

Tuesday 9th June 2009
quotequote all
Landlord said:
Matt UK said:
He'll use stones and maybe a club.
There's your answer, dude. Plus "it's not the dog in the fight, it's the fight in the dog." Cavey would go mental whilst Boxer-man would be show-boating.
No, assume Boxer-man is fighting for his life also.

Arese

21,159 posts

209 months

Tuesday 9th June 2009
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RRS_Staffs

648 posts

201 months

Tuesday 9th June 2009
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Is one of them on a treadmill?

Matt UK

Original Poster:

18,080 posts

222 months

Tuesday 9th June 2009
quotequote all
RRS_Staffs said:
Is one of them on a treadmill?
No. They've stumbled upon each other and it's just kind of kicked off.

Westy Pre-Lit

5,088 posts

225 months

Tuesday 9th June 2009
quotequote all
Arese said:
Everybody knows cavey wins everytime.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=JF_cQgAwH-Q&fea...

Simpo Two

91,039 posts

287 months

Tuesday 9th June 2009
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If you're talking H.sapiens vs H.neanderthalensis I'm not sure. Modern man is faster and quicker-thinking but Neanderthals were stout bds. Assuming no weapons, it would be technique vs brute strength.

Not sure. Probably a win to H.sapiens - because that's what happened in real ife!

Pigeon

18,535 posts

268 months

Tuesday 9th June 2009
quotequote all
Westy Pre-Lit said:
Arese said:
Everybody knows cavey wins everytime.
Yeah.

And Stig of the Dump sent the local chavs packing.

Caveman FTW.

Graham E

13,009 posts

208 months

Tuesday 9th June 2009
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I want to say caveman, as in all that daft ocatagon based agga boxers always get caned by wrestlers, ninjas, and ear biters. However, if it all kicked off and there were no projectiles, I'd douby anything could stay standing after a smack from tyson, lewis, etc etc.

mind, we didn't clarify what the size of the pugelists were. Or if they were pikeys...

jammy_basturd

29,778 posts

234 months

Wednesday 10th June 2009
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Can I be clever about this and say the only true winner in a boxing match is always the organiser?

Jem Thompson

930 posts

204 months

Wednesday 10th June 2009
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I guess the caveman would have less sympathy. The boxer, no matter how tough, would probably lack the determination to properly hurt or kill someone. The caveman however, would be a complete animal, and would have no desire to hold back.

Killer2005

20,425 posts

250 months

Wednesday 10th June 2009
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Boxer

ShadownINja

79,238 posts

304 months

Wednesday 10th June 2009
quotequote all
ofcorsa said:
ShadownINja said:
Caveman with rocks and a club. Put it this way. I could take on Mike Tyson and win. Cos I'll get in the ring with a 3 foot long razor sharp ninja sword and cut his hands off before he can take a swing at my masked face. I don't think they learn how to disarm ninjas in boxing school.

thumbup
boxers im sure could pick up a big stick too
Not sure he'll be trained to use it. Pro boxer with stick vs Ninja with sword? I know who my money's on.

BTW I don't think im has commented yet. confused

Edited by ShadownINja on Wednesday 10th June 00:42