Sleep training a baby
Discussion
Our little one is 4.5 months old and generally a wonderful little girl. However, she has got into the habit (or rather we've allowed her) to fall asleep in our arms and this has become the only way to get her to sleep. We've read lots about breaking her into a normal sleeping regime but don't know if we should:
Put her in the cot and walk away, leave her crying and return after 10 minutes, comfort but don't pick her up...and repeat, repeat until she can sleep on her own.
Or, variations on that theme, from earplugs and leave her all night to the softly softly, wait until she's older before trying this sort of thing approach.
Any thoughts/experiences/advice please?
Put her in the cot and walk away, leave her crying and return after 10 minutes, comfort but don't pick her up...and repeat, repeat until she can sleep on her own.
Or, variations on that theme, from earplugs and leave her all night to the softly softly, wait until she's older before trying this sort of thing approach.
Any thoughts/experiences/advice please?
Babies like a cuddle of that there a no doubt. We have two girls and my wife read and has proved it takes three days to break a habit and three days to make a new one. In other words, if you can be strong and persist with whatever ruse you chose to persuade baby to fall asleep on her own, it'll take six days to seal the deal. Works for us anyway!
I've used controlled crying every time the LO's routine goes to pot and we get bedtime dramas (we/ve moved about a bit and had to share a bedroom for weeks at a time, so then she won't sleep in her own room when back at home). Works pretty quickly these days. Go in after 5 min, then after another 10, another 20, and keep increasing. Don't make a big fuss, just enough to get the child to settle again and no more. If the child settles before the next visit is due, then leave them be.
I had a couple of 1 or 2 hour marathons, now I'm extremely unlucky if it lasts 15 minutes.
I'm sure it's all terribly cruel, but it was the only way I was going to get any sleep.
I had a couple of 1 or 2 hour marathons, now I'm extremely unlucky if it lasts 15 minutes.
I'm sure it's all terribly cruel, but it was the only way I was going to get any sleep.
+1 on letting the baby cry, but we started that at about 6-7 months.
we used to do the same thing, rock him off to sleep then he'd wake up moments after settling him, turned out a lot of it was trapped wind, then he got used to calling for us and us arriving...
Its horrible at first but slowly and surely leaving him to cry works, its just the first couple of nights which are a bit bad (earplugs worked- how bad are we!) then it was plain sailing.....until teething time!
Now that teething time is upon us we nurofen him at bedtime and we bought a carousel thingy with lights and toys on it, runs on batteries and plays soothing lullabies, whenever the little one wakes up in the night we just go and switch it on - garaunteed asleep within 5 mins.
The little guy will quite happily go into his cot awake with his soft toy bunny and the carousel on, then we go back in 15 mins later and switch it off, he's fast asleep then and most nights we dont hear anything till about 7-8am!.
P.S. our chums who have a baby of very similar age wont do the let them cry thing and are up 5-6 times a night, they look very haggard right now but its their choice i suppose..
we used to do the same thing, rock him off to sleep then he'd wake up moments after settling him, turned out a lot of it was trapped wind, then he got used to calling for us and us arriving...
Its horrible at first but slowly and surely leaving him to cry works, its just the first couple of nights which are a bit bad (earplugs worked- how bad are we!) then it was plain sailing.....until teething time!
Now that teething time is upon us we nurofen him at bedtime and we bought a carousel thingy with lights and toys on it, runs on batteries and plays soothing lullabies, whenever the little one wakes up in the night we just go and switch it on - garaunteed asleep within 5 mins.
The little guy will quite happily go into his cot awake with his soft toy bunny and the carousel on, then we go back in 15 mins later and switch it off, he's fast asleep then and most nights we dont hear anything till about 7-8am!.
P.S. our chums who have a baby of very similar age wont do the let them cry thing and are up 5-6 times a night, they look very haggard right now but its their choice i suppose..
+1 on letting the baby cry, but we started that at about 6-7 months.
we used to do the same thing, rock him off to sleep then he'd wake up moments after settling him, turned out a lot of it was trapped wind, then he got used to calling for us and us arriving...
Its horrible at first but slowly and surely leaving him to cry works, its just the first couple of nights which are a bit bad (earplugs worked- how bad are we!) then it was plain sailing.....until teething time!
Now that teething time is upon us we nurofen him at bedtime and we bought a carousel thingy with lights and toys on it, runs on batteries and plays soothing lullabies, whenever the little one wakes up in the night we just go and switch it on - garaunteed asleep within 5 mins.
The little guy will quite happily go into his cot awake with his soft toy bunny and the carousel on, then we go back in 15 mins later and switch it off, he's fast asleep then and most nights we dont hear anything till about 7-8am!.
P.S. our chums who have a baby of very similar age wont do the let them cry thing and are up 5-6 times a night, they look very haggard right now but its their choice i suppose..
we used to do the same thing, rock him off to sleep then he'd wake up moments after settling him, turned out a lot of it was trapped wind, then he got used to calling for us and us arriving...
Its horrible at first but slowly and surely leaving him to cry works, its just the first couple of nights which are a bit bad (earplugs worked- how bad are we!) then it was plain sailing.....until teething time!
Now that teething time is upon us we nurofen him at bedtime and we bought a carousel thingy with lights and toys on it, runs on batteries and plays soothing lullabies, whenever the little one wakes up in the night we just go and switch it on - garaunteed asleep within 5 mins.
The little guy will quite happily go into his cot awake with his soft toy bunny and the carousel on, then we go back in 15 mins later and switch it off, he's fast asleep then and most nights we dont hear anything till about 7-8am!.
P.S. our chums who have a baby of very similar age wont do the let them cry thing and are up 5-6 times a night, they look very haggard right now but its their choice i suppose..
AlanKSG said:
If they are crying, they are breathing. Put the ear plugs in. Seriously, you don't want to be having this battle in 1, 2, 5 or more years time. I know a couple who have not had a night in bed together without their child. Ever. He is now 5!!!!
I Agree,As long as they`re in their cot and can`t climb out screaming for 30 mins will eventually tire them out, it`s difficult to ignore them, especially for their mother, they ( baby ) know that, when it goes quiet go in and tuck them in, they`ll be sucking their thumb and looking like butter wouldn`t melt
I've often said it about little Ex, but I (we) were blessed with a kid that seemed quite happy to go into his cot and sleep.
We always used to put him to bed with some classical music playing and a very soft light left on in the room.
As soon as he was able he was allowed to press the button to turn the music on, and he slept with a cot full of stuff to play with if he wanted to. I'd tidy up in there just before going to bed.
Some opinions state there should be very little in the cot but we found it was good in the morning if he had loads of stuff around him, he'd keep himself entertained for an extra thirty minutes or so untill he got bored and started calling out.
I don't think letting her fall asleep in your arms is a problem, in fact I used to really cherish it, if you can get their head onto your chest and near your heart then it will remind them of being in the womb, just keep your breathing slow and deep and let them sleep there for as long as you can.
The controlled crying thing works well, though we very rarely had to employ it, one thing that I noticed early on was the fact that initially one of us would jump out of bed at the slightest sound from him. One weekend I was left alone and when he started grumbling I left him to it for a bit and sure enough he settled down and went back to sleep. Once I'd figured this it was rare for either of us to attend him during the night although he would often wake us up.
Oh meant to ask, is this your first child?
We always used to put him to bed with some classical music playing and a very soft light left on in the room.
As soon as he was able he was allowed to press the button to turn the music on, and he slept with a cot full of stuff to play with if he wanted to. I'd tidy up in there just before going to bed.
Some opinions state there should be very little in the cot but we found it was good in the morning if he had loads of stuff around him, he'd keep himself entertained for an extra thirty minutes or so untill he got bored and started calling out.
I don't think letting her fall asleep in your arms is a problem, in fact I used to really cherish it, if you can get their head onto your chest and near your heart then it will remind them of being in the womb, just keep your breathing slow and deep and let them sleep there for as long as you can.
The controlled crying thing works well, though we very rarely had to employ it, one thing that I noticed early on was the fact that initially one of us would jump out of bed at the slightest sound from him. One weekend I was left alone and when he started grumbling I left him to it for a bit and sure enough he settled down and went back to sleep. Once I'd figured this it was rare for either of us to attend him during the night although he would often wake us up.
Oh meant to ask, is this your first child?
A baby never died from crying.
You will feel terrible the first night.
Leave 10 mins, check nappy, settle and put them back in the cot.
Leave 20 mins and repeat...
Leave 30 mins...
3 days seems about right to instill a proper routine.
Our baby monitor has a mute button, it shows a "rev counter" of lights on the top. we only ever check on Little Miss S now if she is getting valve bounce and is hitting the top red light. (BT monitor iirc)
You will feel terrible the first night.
Leave 10 mins, check nappy, settle and put them back in the cot.
Leave 20 mins and repeat...
Leave 30 mins...
3 days seems about right to instill a proper routine.
Our baby monitor has a mute button, it shows a "rev counter" of lights on the top. we only ever check on Little Miss S now if she is getting valve bounce and is hitting the top red light. (BT monitor iirc)
hewlett said:
Our little one is 4.5 months old and generally a wonderful little girl. However, she has got into the habit (or rather we've allowed her) to fall asleep in our arms and this has become the only way to get her to sleep. We've read lots about breaking her into a normal sleeping regime but don't know if we should:
Put her in the cot and walk away, leave her crying and return after 10 minutes, comfort but don't pick her up...and repeat, repeat until she can sleep on her own.
Or, variations on that theme, from earplugs and leave her all night to the softly softly, wait until she's older before trying this sort of thing approach.
Any thoughts/experiences/advice please?
It works a treat, don't get me wrong, I am completely against controlled crying (just leaving them) but this one is fine, with the 10 minutes, it takes alot of will power to not go in there and pick her up, the only point in you going in there is to let her know you are still there.Put her in the cot and walk away, leave her crying and return after 10 minutes, comfort but don't pick her up...and repeat, repeat until she can sleep on her own.
Or, variations on that theme, from earplugs and leave her all night to the softly softly, wait until she's older before trying this sort of thing approach.
Any thoughts/experiences/advice please?
I was in exactly the same situation as you, and a friend of mine told me to do this and sat on the phone with me for a week while I did it telling me to sit myself back down whenever I started to give in and go and pick him up! A week later (if that)...you'll find it will start taking less and less time every night, amazing, great 7pm sleep routine, an evening for me, no more tears for little one, he's 2.5 now, never looked back!
OK I'll probably recieve hatred for this, but if you are tough as nails you can sort it in one night.
This is only my personal experience, please do not imply any parenting expertise.
Our daughter was 5 months, and had been up twice in most nights for feeds and cuddles.
We both got serious flu - seriously no-one wanted to even get up we couldn't MOVE.
So, she woke and cried.
This is only my personal experience, please do not imply any parenting expertise.
Our daughter was 5 months, and had been up twice in most nights for feeds and cuddles.
We both got serious flu - seriously no-one wanted to even get up we couldn't MOVE.
So, she woke and cried.
Routine is essential.
At night time bath, feed, cuddle, story then bed in a quiet, dark room at the same time every night. Ignore whimpering or crying unless serious and prolonged.
During the day sleep in a noisy, bright, busy environment in a carry cot or pushchair - never in the same cot or bedroom as night time. Manage the environment so they can get to sleep but don't have any longer than they really need. The moment they wake up do somthing interesting to stimulate them.
Babies soon learn there are pattens to life. We treated both ours this way and by four weeks they were both sleeping from 7pm to 11pm, woken up for a feed then back to bed and slept right through to 7am, with a hour or so in the afternoon.
FFS don't breast feed. If you do you'll have a whiny demanding baby that's permanently hungry and will have no routine whatsoever. Wean them and potty train ASAP. Both ours had started solids at 6 months and were walking, starting talking and dry during the day at just over a year.
Not very PC in this touchy-feely age but works a treat.
At night time bath, feed, cuddle, story then bed in a quiet, dark room at the same time every night. Ignore whimpering or crying unless serious and prolonged.
During the day sleep in a noisy, bright, busy environment in a carry cot or pushchair - never in the same cot or bedroom as night time. Manage the environment so they can get to sleep but don't have any longer than they really need. The moment they wake up do somthing interesting to stimulate them.
Babies soon learn there are pattens to life. We treated both ours this way and by four weeks they were both sleeping from 7pm to 11pm, woken up for a feed then back to bed and slept right through to 7am, with a hour or so in the afternoon.
FFS don't breast feed. If you do you'll have a whiny demanding baby that's permanently hungry and will have no routine whatsoever. Wean them and potty train ASAP. Both ours had started solids at 6 months and were walking, starting talking and dry during the day at just over a year.
Not very PC in this touchy-feely age but works a treat.
RedLeicester said:
Plotloss said:
Controlled Crying.
You feel like Mengle on the first evening but it gets easier.
Yep. Just try and get as far away as possible so with a bit of luck you can't hear it.You feel like Mengle on the first evening but it gets easier.
Remember: Crying doesn't hurt the baby, only the parents.
You're not making her cry, you're letting her cry.TBH my SWMBO really struggled with it so I used to send her out for a walk round the block.
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