OH in labour :|

[mr_krissy_kris]

Right then, 37 weeks in and contractions started at 3pm. Spaced exactly 20 minutes apart and last for around a minute and a half. No sign of placenta seepage so I think we're ok for the moment. At what point do I completely lose it and run around like a headless chicken?
Got my Top Gear and Evo for the no doubt boring maternity ward, am I correct in assuming I should not stare at the other shouty/screamy mothers for fear of death?
I have no idea what to expect!!!

[davido140]

Have you been to the maternity ward to have a looky loo? Many have private rooms these days so you can hear all the wailing from the other mothers but dont have to look them in the fanny eye.

Good luck, hope it's a quick one, dont forget to have a go on the gas and air when the midwife isnt looking, might be best to sit down first, its fking awesome st!

Just think, another 18 years and you might get your life back!

[Hammer67]

Is it a water birth? if so take a landing net from your fishing tackle.

[grumbledoak]

mr_krissy_kris said:

I have no idea what to expect!!!

Boredom. Stress. Tedium. Lots of waiting. Though we in the UK seem to make a big deal of the father being present at the birth, in truth there is fk all you can do from start to finish.

Advise her to get the epidural early, as it takes twenty minutes to start working, and you could be 'done' by then.

Best of luck.

[JonRB]

mr_krissy_kris said:

I have no idea what to expect!!!

Higher taxation, corruption, wasteful public spending, intrusion, micro-management, propaganda, and ultimate financial ruin for the country.

HTH

[mr_krissy_kris]

Our midwife has been, quite frankly, awful. It's her day off today and she hasn't got her phone on. We mentioned that we would like a look around several weeks ago so that we know what to expect when we get there but she did not arrange it. Shame about the kebabs being in separate rooms. Would of thought that would of passed at least 3-4 minutes. I well intend on gas and air Shame I can't steal the pefedin too but I digress.

[chunkymonkey71]

Excellent!!!

Funnily enough, it was the day after fathers day last year that my son was born!

All the best to you... let us know how it goes. Fatherhood is the best thing in the world!

[Sheets Tabuer]

You brought magazines?

The only time in your life you can watch your OH in agony and you want to read a magazine?

[chunkymonkey71]

Sheets Tabuer said:

You brought magazines?

The only time in your life you can watch your OH in agony and you want to read a magazine?

Try to keep at the head end of things though...

the image of a big stretched fanny will stay with you forever.

[SystemParanoia]

watch the start of talledega nights... it will tell you all you need to know!

[Sheets Tabuer]

chunkymonkey71 said:

Sheets Tabuer said:

You brought magazines?

The only time in your life you can watch your OH in agony and you want to read a magazine?

Try to keep at the head end of things though...

the image of a big stretched fanny will stay with you forever.

God yeah, looking at the mrs bits which look like someone threw a grenade up and ran like feck isn't the best thing for your libido when she comes strutting around in lingerie a few weeks afterwards

[ShadownINja]

But natural child birth is the most beautiful thing ever.

[Vidal Baboon]

Sheets Tabuer said:

chunkymonkey71 said:

Sheets Tabuer said:

You brought magazines?

The only time in your life you can watch your OH in agony and you want to read a magazine?

Try to keep at the head end of things though...

the image of a big stretched fanny will stay with you forever.

God yeah, looking at the mrs bits which look like someone threw a grenade up and ran like feck isn't the best thing for your libido when she comes strutting around in lingerie a few weeks afterwards

NIIIIIIICE!

have all this to look forward to in a few weeks too

We've Been told our baby is in the top 5% for projected birth size, so shes stting herself at the prospect of giving Birth to a child with shoulders the same width of a Barn Door

OP, if you would'nt mind giving us a bit of a heads up for thing I may need- like a change of identity for example.

Would be much appreciated.

Ta.

ETA- Good Luck!

Edited by Vidal Baboon on Monday 22 June 19:29

[mr_krissy_kris]

Don't worry I'm not going anywhere near baby end. I know the other half inside out, just don't want to become familiar with that far inside. I'm bloody excited that my little one finally wants to make an appearance though. No doubt I'll visit back regularly and keep you updated. Cheers for the support fellas.

[Mexico.]

Good luck to you and your wife kris me thinks a girl

[Neil_H]

Oh, giving birth...I was about to ask what you plan to spend the cash on.

[WildCards]

Neil_H said:

Oh, giving birth...I was about to ask what you plan to spend the cash on.

I clicked with the intention of posting the same thing

[eps]

mr_krissy_kris said:

Don't worry I'm not going anywhere near baby end. I know the other half inside out, just don't want to become familiar with that far inside. I'm bloody excited that my little one finally wants to make an appearance though. No doubt I'll visit back regularly and keep you updated. Cheers for the support fellas.

Yeah in about 3 years time!! or possibly more..

[pat_y]

Good luck Kris, you're about to go through one of the most draining experiences ever, if it's a long labour (38 hours for my wife last year)it is OK to go to sleep, they will wake you up when it all really kicks off. And yes, despite what your wife may tell you, she really does need the drugs, all of them preferably at the same time.

[Puggit]

pat_y said:

Good luck Kris, you're about to go through one of the most draining experiences ever, if it's a long labour (38 hours for my wife last year)it is OK to go to sleep, they will wake you up when it all really kicks off. And yes, despite what your wife may tell you, she really does need the drugs, all of them preferably at the same time.

Listen to this man - he knows what he's talking about!

Epidurals rock!