Long slip roads and dicks
Discussion
You know the situation, long slip road joining a slow moving DC or MWay and so traffic has backed up a little on the slip. Nothing too major, just the usual matching speed and merging in turn, everyone's happy, no shenanigans, gently rolling along the slip until it's all merging.
In fact, it couldn't work better....in fact, horror of horrors! You realise that the queue on the carriageway is speeding up! And it's speeding up because everyone is being sensible!
And then you spot them in your rear view mirror.
You know them, the utterly useless dribble of cock snot barreling down the hard shoulder kicking s
t all over the place in the selfish and nigh on pointless act of merging onto the carriageway 15m further along the slip. However, of course, because they've done the whole "boot the throttle to look cool" act the fking Fallopian tubes are going too fast to join the traffic properly, at this point it registers that they need to slow down and they stamp on the brakes and all but stop. Then they join/force their way in, baulking all the cars on the carriageway who had just got up to reasonable speed and releasing the congestion.
Well done you fking ish pox ridden flange lip. Traffic back to square fking one.
Can I politely ask that you don't "Learn to drive", instead that you simply just fk off off the roads altogether you complete cocktard.
In fact, it couldn't work better....in fact, horror of horrors! You realise that the queue on the carriageway is speeding up! And it's speeding up because everyone is being sensible!
And then you spot them in your rear view mirror.
You know them, the utterly useless dribble of cock snot barreling down the hard shoulder kicking s
t all over the place in the selfish and nigh on pointless act of merging onto the carriageway 15m further along the slip. However, of course, because they've done the whole "boot the throttle to look cool" act the fking Fallopian tubes are going too fast to join the traffic properly, at this point it registers that they need to slow down and they stamp on the brakes and all but stop. Then they join/force their way in, baulking all the cars on the carriageway who had just got up to reasonable speed and releasing the congestion.Well done you f
king ish pox ridden flange lip. Traffic back to square fking one. Can I politely ask that you don't "Learn to drive", instead that you simply just f
k off off the roads altogether you complete cocktard.Try being in a truck on the DC or MWay when coming alongside a sliproad you match your speed to the car that is ahead of you. They turn round and check their blind spot (if you are lucky) and they see a truck and start braking even though they are going faster than you and they could quite easily turn right and not hit you. It just totally fks the job.
I try and move into the middle lane iff possible, so that they can only fk it up for themselves.
There should be a compulsary session once you have passed your test which shows you how to drive roads properly. None of this merge slowly crap. Teach them to match their speed properly and not be afraid to use the throttle.
ks the job.I try and move into the middle lane iff possible, so that they can only f
k it up for themselves.There should be a compulsary session once you have passed your test which shows you how to drive roads properly. None of this merge slowly crap. Teach them to match their speed properly and not be afraid to use the throttle.
stifler said:
Try being in a truck on the DC or MWay when coming alongside a sliproad you match your speed to the car that is ahead of you. They turn round and check their blind spot (if you are lucky) and they see a truck and start braking even though they are going faster than you and they could quite easily turn right and not hit you. It just totally fks the job.
I try and move into the middle lane iff possible, so that they can only fk it up for themselves.
There should be a compulsary session once you have passed your test which shows you how to drive roads properly. None of this merge slowly crap. Teach them to match their speed properly and not be afraid to use the throttle.
I have to say, PassPlus I took when I had passed my test.. I drove for 7 hours, with a half hour break on Motorways for nearly the whole time. My instructor taught me very well about the merging and speed matching etc.ks the job.I try and move into the middle lane iff possible, so that they can only f
k it up for themselves.There should be a compulsary session once you have passed your test which shows you how to drive roads properly. None of this merge slowly crap. Teach them to match their speed properly and not be afraid to use the throttle.
Now when I come up to a slip lane, I move to the middle/right and can tell that i'm going to be cut up by the person in the lane next to me as they panic when they see a car needing to join and just swerve into the next lane to get out of the way.
Jonny671 said:
stifler said:
Try being in a truck on the DC or MWay when coming alongside a sliproad you match your speed to the car that is ahead of you. They turn round and check their blind spot (if you are lucky) and they see a truck and start braking even though they are going faster than you and they could quite easily turn right and not hit you. It just totally fks the job.
I try and move into the middle lane iff possible, so that they can only fk it up for themselves.
There should be a compulsary session once you have passed your test which shows you how to drive roads properly. None of this merge slowly crap. Teach them to match their speed properly and not be afraid to use the throttle.
I have to say, PassPlus I took when I had passed my test.. I drove for 7 hours, with a half hour break on Motorways for nearly the whole time. My instructor taught me very well about the merging and speed matching etc.ks the job.I try and move into the middle lane iff possible, so that they can only f
k it up for themselves.There should be a compulsary session once you have passed your test which shows you how to drive roads properly. None of this merge slowly crap. Teach them to match their speed properly and not be afraid to use the throttle.
Now when I come up to a slip lane, I move to the middle/right and can tell that i'm going to be cut up by the person in the lane next to me as they panic when they see a car needing to join and just swerve into the next lane to get out of the way.
When I'm in charge ill just confiscate bad drivers licences. I imagine I can do that sometimes
I have quite a collection!It's the fkwits who slow down on acceleration lanes that piss me off. The southbound lane off the New Malden/Worcester Park roundabout on the A3 is particularly good for attracting this kind of moron.
They'll either accelerate to 40 then panic brake down to 30 to join a 50mph dual carriageway or just drive far too slowly along the road in the first place.
There's nothing special about it:
http://maps.google.co.uk/maps?q=new+malden&oe=...
kwits who slow down on acceleration lanes that piss me off. The southbound lane off the New Malden/Worcester Park roundabout on the A3 is particularly good for attracting this kind of moron.They'll either accelerate to 40 then panic brake down to 30 to join a 50mph dual carriageway or just drive far too slowly along the road in the first place.
There's nothing special about it:
http://maps.google.co.uk/maps?q=new+malden&oe=...
On a similar note, what makes me laugh is people panicking as soon as the get on the slip road thinking they have to get on the DC/Motorway immediately. Even if the slip road is about one mile long.
I see it every day when I join the A55 on my way home from work. It's a two-lane slip road, and 95% of cars make straight for the second lane of the slip road, barge onto the DC, then straight out into lane two for no reason.
I stay in lane one of the slip-road until I can see a nice gap in the traffic, and just merge in. And often end up further along the DC than the bell-ends that jumped on straightaway.
I see it every day when I join the A55 on my way home from work. It's a two-lane slip road, and 95% of cars make straight for the second lane of the slip road, barge onto the DC, then straight out into lane two for no reason.
I stay in lane one of the slip-road until I can see a nice gap in the traffic, and just merge in. And often end up further along the DC than the bell-ends that jumped on straightaway.
stifler said:
Jonny671 said:
stifler said:
Try being in a truck on the DC or MWay when coming alongside a sliproad you match your speed to the car that is ahead of you. They turn round and check their blind spot (if you are lucky) and they see a truck and start braking even though they are going faster than you and they could quite easily turn right and not hit you. It just totally fks the job.
I try and move into the middle lane iff possible, so that they can only fk it up for themselves.
There should be a compulsary session once you have passed your test which shows you how to drive roads properly. None of this merge slowly crap. Teach them to match their speed properly and not be afraid to use the throttle.
I have to say, PassPlus I took when I had passed my test.. I drove for 7 hours, with a half hour break on Motorways for nearly the whole time. My instructor taught me very well about the merging and speed matching etc.ks the job.I try and move into the middle lane iff possible, so that they can only f
k it up for themselves.There should be a compulsary session once you have passed your test which shows you how to drive roads properly. None of this merge slowly crap. Teach them to match their speed properly and not be afraid to use the throttle.
Now when I come up to a slip lane, I move to the middle/right and can tell that i'm going to be cut up by the person in the lane next to me as they panic when they see a car needing to join and just swerve into the next lane to get out of the way.
When I'm in charge ill just confiscate bad drivers licences. I imagine I can do that sometimes
I have quite a collection!This slip lane is a trouble one..
http://maps.google.co.uk/maps?hl=en&q=Guildfor...
A3 Hurtmore Junction - Between Guildford & Milford.
It looks simple, but its a steep hill.. And blind too until you get to the top of the slip lane, if you know/are confident you'll just power up the hill and get some run up.. If not, you end up sitting there at the end of the slip lane!
Edited by Jonny671 on Thursday 25th June 10:39
ShadownINja said:
It's the fkwits who slow down on acceleration lanes that piss me off. The southbound lane off the New Malden/Worcester Park roundabout on the A3 is particularly good for attracting this kind of moron.
They'll either accelerate to 40 then panic brake down to 30 to join a 50mph dual carriageway or just drive far too slowly along the road in the first place.
God yeah, they really boil my piss. Merging into fast moving traffic at 40 is not my idea of fun.kwits who slow down on acceleration lanes that piss me off. The southbound lane off the New Malden/Worcester Park roundabout on the A3 is particularly good for attracting this kind of moron.They'll either accelerate to 40 then panic brake down to 30 to join a 50mph dual carriageway or just drive far too slowly along the road in the first place.
DrTre said:
You know the situation, long slip road joining a slow moving DC or MWay and so traffic has backed up a little on the slip. Nothing too major, just the usual matching speed and merging in turn, everyone's happy, no shenanigans, gently rolling along the slip until it's all merging.
In fact, it couldn't work better....in fact, horror of horrors! You realise that the queue on the carriageway is speeding up! And it's speeding up because everyone is being sensible!
And then you spot them in your rear view mirror.
You know them, the utterly useless dribble of cock snot barreling down the hard shoulder kicking st all over the place in the selfish and nigh on pointless act of merging onto the carriageway 15m further along the slip. However, of course, because they've done the whole "boot the throttle to look cool" act the fking Fallopian tubes are going too fast to join the traffic properly, at this point it registers that they need to slow down and they stamp on the brakes and all but stop. Then they join/force their way in, baulking all the cars on the carriageway who had just got up to reasonable speed and releasing the congestion.
Well done you fking ish pox ridden flange lip. Traffic back to square fking one.
Can I politely ask that you don't "Learn to drive", instead that you simply just fk off off the roads altogether you complete cocktard.
You Sir are The Lord of Rants!In fact, it couldn't work better....in fact, horror of horrors! You realise that the queue on the carriageway is speeding up! And it's speeding up because everyone is being sensible!
And then you spot them in your rear view mirror.
You know them, the utterly useless dribble of cock snot barreling down the hard shoulder kicking s
t all over the place in the selfish and nigh on pointless act of merging onto the carriageway 15m further along the slip. However, of course, because they've done the whole "boot the throttle to look cool" act the fking Fallopian tubes are going too fast to join the traffic properly, at this point it registers that they need to slow down and they stamp on the brakes and all but stop. Then they join/force their way in, baulking all the cars on the carriageway who had just got up to reasonable speed and releasing the congestion.Well done you f
king ish pox ridden flange lip. Traffic back to square fking one. Can I politely ask that you don't "Learn to drive", instead that you simply just f
k off off the roads altogether you complete cocktard.Gassing Station | General Gassing [Archive] | Top of Page | What's New | My Stuff