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Booked into hotel, doing some work on laptop, decide to click onto youpawn for a minute (as you do). Film starts... suddenly remember need to book a meeting room for tomorrow..nip down to reception to arrange, get back ten minutes later, to find pretty chambermaid making my bed, etc youpawn bukkake going in full view on full volume on the desk. Get disapproving looks. Just off to find the kettle so I can piss in it to complete the job.
LMAO lesson learned.
I when I was 18 stayed in a 4* business hotel in Amsterdam with strict no drugs laws, we got high using a bong on our bathroom floor. Being incredibly high, we left it there to go get munchie food. When we came back the bong was found on the side in the room.
Interestingly, they never said a thing.
I when I was 18 stayed in a 4* business hotel in Amsterdam with strict no drugs laws, we got high using a bong on our bathroom floor. Being incredibly high, we left it there to go get munchie food. When we came back the bong was found on the side in the room.
Interestingly, they never said a thing.
Many years ago I was working in Frankfurt. My job finished early in the evenings so I would go over to see another team from same company in Darmstadt, did some work, had meal and few beers. As they were wimps they went to bed early so I went back to my own hotel, in the bar for a few beers. Got chatting to barmaid who said she was very good at mixing cocktails (behave!) so I had a Tequila Sunrise. When I finished it she offered me another........This time I watched her mixing it, one hell of a lot of alcohol! 
I'd already had a shedload of beer and one of these. I downed the second one and headed for my room before it hit the spot.
4:30 in the morning I awoke, sprawled across the bed, lights and TV on. I needed to "dump"...urgently! I rushed to the loo and sat down fast. Crapping for England I suddenly needed to throw up
after a few minutes I decided to inspect my handiwork. There in the toilet bowl was a lovely technicolour yawn...........The toilet!? What was I sitting on 
It was the bidet!
Now the drain on a bidet has very small holes.
Until confronted with the situation it is difficult to comprehend just how difficult it is to force poo down such small holes!
I'd already had a shedload of beer and one of these. I downed the second one and headed for my room before it hit the spot.4:30 in the morning I awoke, sprawled across the bed, lights and TV on. I needed to "dump"...urgently! I rushed to the loo and sat down fast. Crapping for England I suddenly needed to throw up
after a few minutes I decided to inspect my handiwork. There in the toilet bowl was a lovely technicolour yawn...........The toilet!? What was I sitting on It was the bidet! Now the drain on a bidet has very small holes.
Until confronted with the situation it is difficult to comprehend just how difficult it is to force poo down such small holes!
Got back to my hotel after a long day at work, nice room, all white sheets, immaculate. Laid back on the bed catching up on work on the laptop (ok, Pistonheads), hadn't seen the chocolate they'd left on the pillow (I mean, who the f
k uses chocolate wrapped in a white wrapper, on white sheets?).
I got up maybe 45 mins later, and I'm telling you, that thing was melted and smeared EVERYWHERE, and looked just like I'd emptied my lower bowels all over the bed - I swear, this was some crazy tardis chocolate that multiplied or something. This st was just all over the bed.
Well, I just left it there, slept on the other side of the bed that night, and tried to hold my head high every time I saw the housekeeping ladies.
k uses chocolate wrapped in a white wrapper, on white sheets?).I got up maybe 45 mins later, and I'm telling you, that thing was melted and smeared EVERYWHERE, and looked just like I'd emptied my lower bowels all over the bed - I swear, this was some crazy tardis chocolate that multiplied or something. This s
t was just all over the bed.Well, I just left it there, slept on the other side of the bed that night, and tried to hold my head high every time I saw the housekeeping ladies.
At a race meeting I was sharing a room with a mate. They gave me the key card so we went to dump our bags in the room, then once the queue had gone he would go and get a duplicate key card for himself.
We got into the room and there was a wash bag in the bathroom (I just thought that the maid was lazy) so I slung that in the wardrobe, lay down on the bed (dirty boots still on) and watched some tv. My room mate went to get another key and I decided to take a dump, he came running back as I was mid-flow and said that they had given us the wrong room key, our room was across the hall.
I pulled up me kecks, got my bag and went into our actual room and finished taking a dump. My mate and I pisswd ourselves when the occupant of the first room was loudly complaining to the manager in the hallway about the lack of security and the huge dump that had blocked the loo. He had overflowed the loo by flushing it twice when it was blocked.
We got into the room and there was a wash bag in the bathroom (I just thought that the maid was lazy) so I slung that in the wardrobe, lay down on the bed (dirty boots still on) and watched some tv. My room mate went to get another key and I decided to take a dump, he came running back as I was mid-flow and said that they had given us the wrong room key, our room was across the hall.
I pulled up me kecks, got my bag and went into our actual room and finished taking a dump. My mate and I pisswd ourselves when the occupant of the first room was loudly complaining to the manager in the hallway about the lack of security and the huge dump that had blocked the loo. He had overflowed the loo by flushing it twice when it was blocked.
Ayahuasca said:
Booked into hotel, doing some work on laptop, decide to click onto youpawn for a minute (as you do). Film starts... suddenly remember need to book a meeting room for tomorrow..nip down to reception to arrange, get back ten minutes later, to find pretty chambermaid making my bed, etc youpawn bukkake going in full view on full volume on the desk. Get disapproving looks. Just off to find the kettle so I can piss in it to complete the job.
She was just pissed off that you didn't hire her instead of taking matters into your own handGassing Station | The Lounge | Top of Page | What's New | My Stuff