Supporting a dying friend
Discussion
Sorry for the rather depressing post chaps, but I could do with some advice.
A friend of mine has been given until Christmas at the latest and whilst she seems fairly upbeat about it at the moment, there will no doubt be times where this isn't so.
How does one go about being good support for something like this? What things can be done to make her life easier and make her feel special?
She has another dose of chemo to go to see if it'll give her some more time, so what would cheer her up? I'm very aware that foods, smelly things and anything on the skin might be a bad idea as she'll be very delicate - but it'd be nice to spoil her a little (if that is what she wants)
We have a large group of mutual friends and we'd all like to do what we can to make it easier.
So what would people suggest? I'd hate her to feel like a charity case or a hopeless cause so its a rather delicate situation.
Thanks
A friend of mine has been given until Christmas at the latest and whilst she seems fairly upbeat about it at the moment, there will no doubt be times where this isn't so.
How does one go about being good support for something like this? What things can be done to make her life easier and make her feel special?
She has another dose of chemo to go to see if it'll give her some more time, so what would cheer her up? I'm very aware that foods, smelly things and anything on the skin might be a bad idea as she'll be very delicate - but it'd be nice to spoil her a little (if that is what she wants)
We have a large group of mutual friends and we'd all like to do what we can to make it easier.
So what would people suggest? I'd hate her to feel like a charity case or a hopeless cause so its a rather delicate situation.
Thanks
Soovy said:
Probably not the answer you wanted, but how about not making a massive deal out of it. JUst be there for her like you always have.
She probably won't want zany antics.
I know I wouldn't.
+1She probably won't want zany antics.
I know I wouldn't.
sadly, ive been in this position, and now again in it with my father
Just let them know, your always there any time of the day or night.
be the good friend you have been, dont change (this is why they like you)
be prepared to listen, cry and wipe up tears.
your friend will tell you when they want something, as hard as it may be to listen to her plans or requests, you have to be strong and do it
T_Pot said:
Soovy said:
Probably not the answer you wanted, but how about not making a massive deal out of it. JUst be there for her like you always have.
She probably won't want zany antics.
I know I wouldn't.
+1She probably won't want zany antics.
I know I wouldn't.
sadly, ive been in this position, and now again in it with my father
Just let them know, your always there any time of the day or night.
be the good friend you have been, dont change (this is why they like you)
be prepared to listen, cry and wipe up tears.
your friend will tell you when they want something, as hard as it may be to listen to her plans or requests, you have to be strong and do it
Perhaps ensuring that she knows that I'll answer the phone at any time of the day or night, and having some easy to digest meals in the freezer to whip out when she doesn't feel like cooking.
It's probably just a "take it as it comes" situation.
Will make sure she has a good supply of magazines to dip into, a few bottles of nice drinks (lightly flavoured waters etc) and some good (scent free) hand cream to take into hospital.
I just feel so helpless. Why does it happen to good people?
I've been asking myself the same thing since yesterday. Found out my aunt has 2months max...possibly 3 if she has chemo.
As someone has already said...be yourself. The last thing you friend would want is for you to be different around her.
Ask her if there is something she would love to do.
Why not arrange some nights in/out with the group of friends, something to help keep her upbeat and to keep the happy times flowing...i know it's the sort of thing i would like
As someone has already said...be yourself. The last thing you friend would want is for you to be different around her.
Ask her if there is something she would love to do.
Why not arrange some nights in/out with the group of friends, something to help keep her upbeat and to keep the happy times flowing...i know it's the sort of thing i would like
Terrible thing to be going through, for both of you - it will be emotionally draining for both of you. I'd just be there for her - do everything and anything she wants, make her feel loved. I can't imagine many people on here have been in her position but I imagine knowing how much her friends care about her will be of great comfort. I agree with what's most others have said, ask her what things in life she wants to do - no matter how ridiculous or stupid. Do everything in your power to get them done.
This one may not go down too well with some people so you'll have to judge if she'll be happy - but I'd let everyone who knows her know what's going on to give them the opportunity to get involved, say hi, pick up the phone.
Good luck - so long as you're there for her you can't go wrong.
This one may not go down too well with some people so you'll have to judge if she'll be happy - but I'd let everyone who knows her know what's going on to give them the opportunity to get involved, say hi, pick up the phone.
Good luck - so long as you're there for her you can't go wrong.
Gassing Station | The Lounge | Top of Page | What's New | My Stuff