How long were you in a relationship before you got engaged?
How long were you in a relationship before you got engaged?

Poll: How long were you in a relationship before you got engaged?

Total Members Polled: 242

1 month or less: 6%
1 to 6 months: 8%
6 to 1 year: 11%
1 to 2 years: 13%
2 to 4 years: 21%
4 to 6 years: 16%
6 to 8 years: 14%
8 to 10 years: 11%
Author
Discussion

M3CHA-MONK3Y

Original Poster:

6,095 posts

218 months

Friday 17th July 2009
quotequote all
I'm just curious.
I've been with my girlfriend for 6 years and she's talking about wanting to get engaged. Personally I think we're both still to young (22 y.o.) but she's got her heart set on it. I would much rather get a place together first and get settled down. We pretty much live together now, I'm round hers 5 to 6 days a week, but I don't think we should take such a serious step until we are positive we can live together.
I think maybe I'm reluctant as my folks got divorced when I was young, it was very unpleasant and I don't want to repeat the same mistake by rushing into anything.

So how old when you got engaged or married?

Mc lovin

5,588 posts

244 months

Friday 17th July 2009
quotequote all
Move in together before you even think about getting married.

The Skunk

278 posts

216 months

Friday 17th July 2009
quotequote all
Mc lovin said:
Move in together before you even think about getting married.
Agreed. Things can change a lot when you move in together.

7 years for me.

Mobile Chicane

21,799 posts

235 months

Friday 17th July 2009
quotequote all
22 is far too young to be taking that kind of step in my opinion. You change a lot in your twenties (and thirties).

Craphouserat

1,541 posts

224 months

Friday 17th July 2009
quotequote all
Been with her 3 years - known her for 7. Aksing her tomorrow !

The Skunk

278 posts

216 months

Friday 17th July 2009
quotequote all
Craphouserat said:
Been with her 3 years - known her for 7. Aksing her tomorrow !
Good luck thumbup

Medic-one

3,135 posts

226 months

Friday 17th July 2009
quotequote all

Interesting topic tol follow.

In Holland people are usually together for like 5 - 6 years before they engage, but over here i've seen friends and collegue's get engaged with 6 months to 18 months and people keep asking me when i'm gonna "pop the question" and i'm like take it easy, we're only together for just over 1,5 year.

sparkypete

617 posts

226 months

Friday 17th July 2009
quotequote all
I was 23, probably too young looking back as I feel like I missed out, however happily married now for 16 years, We had kids early as well both by time I was 25.

Upside is that I will still be quite young when they have both grown up.

Pete

Muzzer

3,814 posts

244 months

Friday 17th July 2009
quotequote all
I've known my OH for 13 years and we've been together for 4 years. I proposed last month, getting hitched next year.

Everyone's different but I would wait until you're in your late twenties at the earliest before getting married (I'm 30)

Move in together and see how that goes but if you've been together since you were 16, chances are one of you might want to try other things/people in the near future.

If not, great. If so, it's easier to move out than get a divorce....

theaxe

3,571 posts

245 months

Friday 17th July 2009
quotequote all
Do move in together first, that should calm her down a bit.

I wouldn't get engaged before you're at least 25.

GTIR

24,741 posts

289 months

Friday 17th July 2009
quotequote all
Medic-one said:
Interesting topic tol follow.

In Holland people are usually together for like 5 - 6 years before they engage, but over here i've seen friends and collegue's get engaged with 6 months to 18 months and people keep asking me when i'm gonna "pop the question" and i'm like take it easy, we're only together for just over 1,5 year.
Dutch people also tend to marry people they have known since school and also I bet if you ask any of your Dutch friends if their group of friends are all from the same home town the will say yes, apart from you!

Bloody crazzzyy Dutch jester

bigmanteebs

5,734 posts

238 months

Friday 17th July 2009
quotequote all
My ex housemate got engaged after 3 months. Personally, i think around 4-5 years before asking the Q...

Gillet

639 posts

232 months

Friday 17th July 2009
quotequote all
i agree with others, move in together first. I was with my girlfriend 2 months before we moved 200 miles away from our respective homes to live together, now been together 8 years, and still very much in love, BUT i think things would be VERY different if we'd gotten married first, moving in together was a HUGE learning curve.

My other point is this 6 years is less than 10% of your life, so its crazy to decide that the experience of that 10% is enough to want to spend the next 70% of your life with that person.

Good luck mate, stay strong and tell her NO.

Craphouserat

1,541 posts

224 months

Friday 17th July 2009
quotequote all
The Skunk said:
Craphouserat said:
Been with her 3 years - known her for 7. Aksing her tomorrow !
Good luck thumbup
Cheers mate.

GTIR

24,741 posts

289 months

Friday 17th July 2009
quotequote all
M3CHA-MONK3Y said:
I have only been with the same girl since I was 16
I think you should both "have a break" and go and live a little before its too late. Experience other relationships and positions.

You know it makes sense.


anonymous-user

77 months

Friday 17th July 2009
quotequote all
Mc lovin said:
Move in together before you even think about getting married.
Agreed - we've been together 9 years, lived together for three of those.

I didn't want to rush into anything hehe

anonymous-user

77 months

Friday 17th July 2009
quotequote all
Craphouserat said:
Been with her 3 years - known her for 7. Aksing her tomorrow !
Sorry but I'm not really up for it.

Don

28,378 posts

307 months

Friday 17th July 2009
quotequote all
Met her. Engaged within six months, married within a year. Been married fourteen years so far.

But I turned 30 a few days before our wedding and she was 33. We'd done all our changing. Since then we've just been aging! (Sadly)

cs02rm0

13,816 posts

214 months

Friday 17th July 2009
quotequote all
Around 6 years (IIRC!) for me, aged 26. But then we lived together for most of those and some time before in a student house. It was probably 4-5 years after she first started making unsubtle hints towards getting engaged.

eldar

24,867 posts

219 months

Friday 17th July 2009
quotequote all
Mrs Craphouserat said:
Craphouserat said:
Been with her 3 years - known her for 7. Aksing her tomorrow !
Sorry but I'm not really up for it.
That saves a lot of pissing around. The PH proposalsmile