Anyone else as domestically inept as me?

[srebbe64]

This weekend my missus is performing in some local dance show thingie, and as such I've been left in charge of all things domestic. However, the penny has now dropped as to how utterly inept I am at all domestic stuff. Things I've never done include:

Operating the washing machine, tumble-drier or dishwasher;
Ironing;
Cooking (apart from bacon a sarnie);

I don't know where anything is (clothes or whatever) and basically I haven't got a damn clue about anything.

Accordingly, the kids are more in control than I am and I think we'll be eating out for the next 24 hours!

[Puggit]

No, I've done 3 loads of washing today

[spikeyhead]

srebbe64 said:

This weekend my missus is performing in some local dance show thingie, and as such I've been left in charge of all things domestic. However, the penny has now dropped as to how utterly inept I am at all domestic stuff. Things I've never done include:

Operating the washing machine, tumble-drier or dishwasher;
Ironing;
Cooking (apart from bacon a sarnie);

I don't know where anything is (clothes or whatever) and basically I haven't got a damn clue about anything.

Accordingly, the kids are more in control than I am and I think we'll be eating out for the next 24 hours!

Why did you unpadlock the chain?

[Scraggles]

clothes usually in wardrobes and drawers, the dirty stuff is easier to find, maybe re-use them ?

never iron clothes, got an iron some place, think it is in the porch cupboard or maybe the loft

[skip_1]

I live on my own, so it was learn or die trying

[M400 NBL]

Buy plenty more clothes, crockery and cutlery.

Usually dishwashers are easy to operate. Even a washing machine is, but it's knowing what to put in together. I have always put everything in together and they always come out the same colour they went in.

[NiceCupOfTea]

Still, at least you can do the blokey stuff like putting fuel in cars.....oh.

[Man-At-Arms]

quick tip:
don't put the dishes in the washing machine

[Puggit]

NiceCupOfTea said:

Still, at least you can do the blokey stuff like putting fuel in cars.....oh.

[IforB]

Good God man. That isn't just being inept, that's complete household task retardedness.

So will you be asking for lessons when your wife gets home?

[robinhood21]

Puggit said:

NiceCupOfTea said:

Still, at least you can do the blokey stuff like putting fuel in cars.....oh.

[srebbe64]

robinhood21 said:

Puggit said:

NiceCupOfTea said:

Still, at least you can do the blokey stuff like putting fuel in cars.....oh.

no comment!

[IforB]

How many times have you done that now? At least twice if recall correctly. That's -1 million man points right there........

[Cara Van Man]

srebbe64 said:

This weekend my missus is performing in some local dance show thingie, and as such I've been left in charge of all things domestic. However, the penny has now dropped as to how utterly inept I am at all domestic stuff. Things I've never done include:

Operating the washing machine, tumble-drier or dishwasher;
Ironing;
Cooking (apart from bacon a sarnie);

I don't know where anything is (clothes or whatever) and basically I haven't got a damn clue about anything.

Accordingly, the kids are more in control than I am and I think we'll be eating out for the next 24 hours!

Does your wife never get fed up of doing everything?

Is it you don't have a clue are or lazy and selfish?

[srebbe64]

Cara Van Man said:

srebbe64 said:

This weekend my missus is performing in some local dance show thingie, and as such I've been left in charge of all things domestic. However, the penny has now dropped as to how utterly inept I am at all domestic stuff. Things I've never done include:

Operating the washing machine, tumble-drier or dishwasher;
Ironing;
Cooking (apart from bacon a sarnie);

I don't know where anything is (clothes or whatever) and basically I haven't got a damn clue about anything.

Accordingly, the kids are more in control than I am and I think we'll be eating out for the next 24 hours!

Does your wife never get fed up of doing everything?

Is it you don't have a clue are or lazy and selfish?

Yes

[srebbe64]

IforB said:

How many times have you done that now? At least twice if recall correctly. That's -1 million man points right there........

Three at the last count!

[Cara Van Man]

srebbe64 said:

Cara Van Man said:

srebbe64 said:

This weekend my missus is performing in some local dance show thingie, and as such I've been left in charge of all things domestic. However, the penny has now dropped as to how utterly inept I am at all domestic stuff. Things I've never done include:

Operating the washing machine, tumble-drier or dishwasher;
Ironing;
Cooking (apart from bacon a sarnie);

I don't know where anything is (clothes or whatever) and basically I haven't got a damn clue about anything.

Accordingly, the kids are more in control than I am and I think we'll be eating out for the next 24 hours!

Does your wife never get fed up of doing everything?

Is it you don't have a clue are or lazy and selfish?

Yes

Lazy, selfish AND inept?

Wow, you sound like a real catch. Are you sure she's off acting?

Edited by Cara Van Man on Saturday 18th July 17:46

[IforB]

And you have kids? My God. The gene pool really is weakening!

[MoggyMuncha]

Slightly OT bbut as a recently single guy (3yrs ago)it was a case of doing it or paying to get it done (domestic duties that is) or die of starvation in a hovel as the other PHer said.

Initially I had to try cooking things 3 times 2 bad 3rd good or starve but got OK at it in the end through sheer bloody mindedness

I can wash clean and do all the other stuff but couldn't iron shirts to save my life...and I like wearing shirts. Ironing one would take me 15-20 mins - most women did them in 2 and I was getting through 10 a week!

In desperation I went on Gumtree for a housekeeper for 2 hours, 2 days a week. 'Interviewing' the 8 ladies that applied got 'interesting' at times (thats another story) but in the end I found myself an angel... She does all domestic duties in the house (minds out of gutters please) and is fantastic at ironing (she actually enjoys it)

She even brings me a home made pie, bread lasagne or stew etc every time she visits.

As I have been very ill lately, I asked her if she knew a pensioner that liked gardening and would he like to come and do mine? She said 'yeah, my dad'.

£60 a week for the pair of them and I just lie back in my nice clean home, full wardrobe of clean pressed stuff and an immaculate garden.

Best decision I ever made looking for outside help.

Mogs

[Pigeon]

srebbe64 said:

Operating the washing machine, tumble-drier or dishwasher;

Put stuff in machine, put soap in (not for the middle one), switch on, come back when it's finished.

My washing machine does admittedly have a load of buttons of whose functions I am not aware. This isn't a problem because it still works if I just ignore them.

srebbe64 said:

Ironing;

Waste of time anyway. Invented so that people who secretly enjoy it can use it as an excuse to moan to the rest of us about how put-upon they are having to do it, while destroying their argument by ironing socks and underpants.

srebbe64 said:

Cooking (apart from bacon a sarnie);

If you can perform the complex task of cooking bacon you must be well capable of performing the much simpler task of putting stuff in the microwave, so no problem there either.