Annoyance, what would you say/do?
Discussion
Morning chaps/chapesses,
I know I'll probably get 'flamed' for a topic of this nature; but I'm sure others on here have experienced similar situations in their past and can pass on some advice, or tell me whether things are likely to work out
Alright, getting to the point...the missus and I have been together for nearly 7 months, not much time, but its been a whirlwind romance meaning we've moved in and been together for the last four months! Nothing wrong there though, I hear you say...well we've both recently completed training at work and started shifts - nothing new there for me, the problem is our patterns are completely different to one another (whilst i'm off she's working, whilst she is on a late I'm on an early etc.)
Just checked out our shift patterns and the next day off we've got together is 28th August, not ideal when your used to spending most days together!
Anyway i'm off til Monday and she's in work, I'd contemplated popping home down Sarf' to see the family - likelihood is she won't finish on time (having done 6 hours overtime each shift last week...) but I don't want to miss out on time with her (soppy!) and can feel this driving a wedge between us.
Thoughts etc please!
Just to add some masculinity to this...I once completed a rodeo and tamed the wildest most satanic bull known to man, honest!
I know I'll probably get 'flamed' for a topic of this nature; but I'm sure others on here have experienced similar situations in their past and can pass on some advice, or tell me whether things are likely to work out
Alright, getting to the point...the missus and I have been together for nearly 7 months, not much time, but its been a whirlwind romance meaning we've moved in and been together for the last four months! Nothing wrong there though, I hear you say...well we've both recently completed training at work and started shifts - nothing new there for me, the problem is our patterns are completely different to one another (whilst i'm off she's working, whilst she is on a late I'm on an early etc.)
Just checked out our shift patterns and the next day off we've got together is 28th August, not ideal when your used to spending most days together!
Anyway i'm off til Monday and she's in work, I'd contemplated popping home down Sarf' to see the family - likelihood is she won't finish on time (having done 6 hours overtime each shift last week...) but I don't want to miss out on time with her (soppy!) and can feel this driving a wedge between us.
Thoughts etc please!
Just to add some masculinity to this...I once completed a rodeo and tamed the wildest most satanic bull known to man, honest!
She said she knows I don't get much time to go home and if I'm in our flat she doesn't want me waiting for her if she isn't going to finish on time...fair enough!
With regards to the not seeing each other for ages malarky...she just says we've got to get on with it, we can't do anything about it, and fair play she appears to be talking sense!
With regards to the not seeing each other for ages malarky...she just says we've got to get on with it, we can't do anything about it, and fair play she appears to be talking sense!
What jobs do you have Matt?
I've seen plenty of relationships go down the pan among my colleagues in the police. On the other hand, I can think of quite a few couples who met in the job, work totally different shifts and still manage to make it work. It's all about priorities IMHO.
Edited to say - from personal experience (my wife works a 9-5 in accounting whilst I slog through a 24/7 shift pattern) - quality time can be hard to come by and you need to plan ahead. I only get one full weekend off in five, so we make sure that we make the most of them.
I've seen plenty of relationships go down the pan among my colleagues in the police. On the other hand, I can think of quite a few couples who met in the job, work totally different shifts and still manage to make it work. It's all about priorities IMHO.
Edited to say - from personal experience (my wife works a 9-5 in accounting whilst I slog through a 24/7 shift pattern) - quality time can be hard to come by and you need to plan ahead. I only get one full weekend off in five, so we make sure that we make the most of them.
Edited by JulianHJ on Friday 24th July 11:08
So get rid of this drivel off here, go home on your time off, enjoy the minutes that you get to see the OH and they enjoy the 28th of august with her and stop reading into stuff..... Jesus....
I dont get to see the OH much except for the odd occasional weekend due to her needing all the time god sends to write her thesis and this will happen until she leaves the country end of August... yet you dont here me b
h on here about it...
Grow some and talk to her.... because you will get flamed on here with soppy st like you just wrote.
Right... now Im off for the first coffee of the day and yes im always a grumpy bugger on fridays
I dont get to see the OH much except for the odd occasional weekend due to her needing all the time god sends to write her thesis and this will happen until she leaves the country end of August... yet you dont here me b
h on here about it... Grow some and talk to her.... because you will get flamed on here with soppy s
t like you just wrote.Right... now Im off for the first coffee of the day and yes im always a grumpy bugger on fridays
CosmicMatt said:
the missus and I have been together for nearly 7 months >snip< we've moved in and been together for the last four months! >snip< I don't want to miss out on time with her (soppy!) and can feel this driving a wedge between us.
Thoughts etc please!
she's going to ice you when she gets fed up of your over bearing and suffocating relationshipThoughts etc please!
JulianHJ said:
What jobs do you have Matt?
I've seen plenty of relationships go down the pan among my colleagues in the police. On the other hand, I can think of quite a few couples who met in the job, work totally different shifts and still manage to make it work. It's all about priorities IMHO.
Edited to say - from personal experience (my wife works a 9-5 in accounting whilst I slog through a 24/7 shift pattern) - quality time can be hard to come by and you need to plan ahead. I only get one full weekend off in five, so we make sure that we make the most of them.
You got the occupation right mate! I've seen plenty of relationships go down the pan among my colleagues in the police. On the other hand, I can think of quite a few couples who met in the job, work totally different shifts and still manage to make it work. It's all about priorities IMHO.
Edited to say - from personal experience (my wife works a 9-5 in accounting whilst I slog through a 24/7 shift pattern) - quality time can be hard to come by and you need to plan ahead. I only get one full weekend off in five, so we make sure that we make the most of them.
Edited by JulianHJ on Friday 24th July 11:08
As to the others mentioning suffocating and over-bearing, I know it appears to come across that way, just so many have mentioned it won't work...and I was just trying to find ways of ensuring that doesn't happen (her priority is her work, even more so than mine, and I won't be over-bearing or suffocating), thing is I don't want her thinking that, that means I don't care...
Fair enough. My 'abuse' finger was twitching violently and this placated it.I know people who both work shifts, and sometimes it does work, others it doesn't.
My 'brother-in-law' (My ex-wife's brother) is a firefighter, and his wife was/is a copper - The time away from home training to be a Bib, and his shifts at the time, meant his marriage fell apart. (They were already struggling in their marriage). This in turn,put a load of pressure on me and the ex-wife, who had to pick up a lot of the child care, after she said that she didn't want the kids.
This together with my own shifts, leaving the ex on her own at nights, and being 'under her feet' during the day, put so much strain on our marriage, that ours also fell apart.
Having said that, I know a couple who both worked shifts, and are still happily married, and have been for many many years.
Talk to your S.O., and see what you can do about it. Make sure you both take holidays at the same time, and that when you do have time off together you do things together. Use your time off when the other half isn't to do all the things you want to do, but can do without her - Decorating, visiting friends, going down the pub etc.
My 'brother-in-law' (My ex-wife's brother) is a firefighter, and his wife was/is a copper - The time away from home training to be a Bib, and his shifts at the time, meant his marriage fell apart. (They were already struggling in their marriage). This in turn,put a load of pressure on me and the ex-wife, who had to pick up a lot of the child care, after she said that she didn't want the kids.
This together with my own shifts, leaving the ex on her own at nights, and being 'under her feet' during the day, put so much strain on our marriage, that ours also fell apart.
Having said that, I know a couple who both worked shifts, and are still happily married, and have been for many many years.
Talk to your S.O., and see what you can do about it. Make sure you both take holidays at the same time, and that when you do have time off together you do things together. Use your time off when the other half isn't to do all the things you want to do, but can do without her - Decorating, visiting friends, going down the pub etc.
CosmicMatt said:
Just to add some masculinity to this...I once completed a rodeo and tamed the wildest most satanic bull known to man, honest!
I don't believe you re: the bull. But I think we've all mistakenly cried out the wrong name in midst of sexual congress and subsequently attempted to 'hang-on' to the raging and bucking filly. Well, it's clear to me that the conversation opener should be "I asked the guys off the internet and they said I should...."
Now, you're lucky here, you posted on Pistonheads. Should you have ventured to arrse, they'd have told you to have one of your mates service her with a baseball bat while you were away and post pics on the internet. If you had asked gamefaqs, they'd have told you to pee in her butt... and similarly, post the pics on t'internet.
Tell her "Papa Hotel" said you should man the fk up, stop behaving like a teenager and go visit the family for a couple of days.
Now, you're lucky here, you posted on Pistonheads. Should you have ventured to arrse, they'd have told you to have one of your mates service her with a baseball bat while you were away and post pics on the internet. If you had asked gamefaqs, they'd have told you to pee in her butt... and similarly, post the pics on t'internet.
Tell her "Papa Hotel" said you should man the f
k up, stop behaving like a teenager and go visit the family for a couple of days. Gassing Station | The Lounge | Top of Page | What's New | My Stuff