Mixing business and pleasure

[Four Cofffee]

I mean actively socialising with people who work for you. Good or bad?

I have always done it but have got into trouble for it. As far as I am concerned just because someone works for me doesn't mean we can't have a beer or three, eat at each others houses, meet outside work, joke about each other etc. Ok, in the past it has caused a few problems when I then have to discipline them at work but we are adults, we have toungues in our heads to talk out problems and nothing has been unsolveable. I have never found it a real compromise but had a boss a few years ago who didn't agree with me letting my staff staff at my flat if they had had too much to drink, taking the piss out of them and vice versa, telling them personal stuff. She thought you should keep your social distance, have a quick drink at a works do then leave before it got silly, no joking about anything remotely unsafe. She saw it as safe for her career. My point was that by getting involved you could understand people's problems and foibles, even if onmce in a while you had to put your hands up to knowing something you shouldn't, doing sometghing you shouldn't or trying to solve a problem through unofficial routes.

So, stay clear or get down and dirty with your staff?

[crofty1984]

OK, I'll cut to the chase:
You probably shouldn't knob your secretary, but you might as well anyway.

[GTIR]

I'll be honest. I read the first sentence but that big block of text underneath confused my small brain.

I will therefore wait..........

[elster]

Depends as long as you mix but make sure it is clear at work you are the boss.

If the edges blur time to knock on head.

[Murray993]

Four Cofffee said:

get down and dirty with your staff?

Just don't get caught

[Driller]

Very bad idea. I became overly friendly/familiar (no, not like that) with my last assistant and she starting taking the piss and I had to fire her. Never again. You can't be friedly with someone and then expect them to take orders afterwards without questioning them.

[Dupont666]

Dont see a problem with it... My boss is my friend and was before he was my boss, the only thing i maintain is a professional working relationship in work (no taking the piss out of him in front of colleagues, etc), outside of work its mates as before.

[crofty1984]

Dupont666 said:

Dont see a problem with it... My boss is my friend and was before he was my boss, the only thing i maintain is a professional working relationship in work (no taking the piss out of him in front of colleagues, etc), outside of work its mates as before.

I think most of the ability for that relationship to work is down to the person lower in the work heirarchy.
If they remain professional then it's OK.

[Jasandjules]

I am in two minds about this. The guys who worked for me, one or two of them socialised (as in out for drinks, going for lunch together etc) and one of them didn't. What that meant was that when one who socialised had a problem (i.e. trains late, or mother with health issues), I didn't mind and would be more flexible than when the other one had a problem (though I would point out that the one who did not socialise tended to really, really take the p**s in general, i.e. he could not come to work regularly because he was "taking his daughter to hospital as she had a headache" etc..).

So, in some respects I think it may have subconsciously affected my behaviour at times. BUT at the same time, I find that teamwork and even the general work rate is far better when the team gets on.

[Pigeon]

Driller said:

Very bad idea. I became overly friendly/familiar (no, not like that) with my last assistant and she starting taking the piss and I had to fire her. Never again. You can't be friedly with someone and then expect them to take orders afterwards without questioning them.

You can't expect someone to take orders without questioning them anyway, unless we are talking about the forces.

[voyds9]

I hate my staff so no mixing for me.

[davido140]

crofty1984 said:

OK, I'll cut to the chase:
You probably shouldn't knob your secretary, but you might as well anyway.

very good!

seriously though, if you cant socialise with people that work for you, IMHOyou're a crap boss.

I socialise with my clients quite a lot, would consider at least two of them to be very good friends, wedding invites and such-like. Possibly slightly different from an employer/employee point of view but not much.

When I worked for "other people" I always got on so much better with the guys I saw as a friend as well as a boss, gave them more respect and put in that extra effort when it mattered. Of course this probably doesnt work if you're the sort of guy that would happily nob their best mates bird as soon as they were not looking, but having some self respect and respect for my friends, it seems to work well.

This is speaking about a professional environment, if perhaps you were the area manager for mcdonalds the last thing you'd want to do is go for a beer with a bunch of burger flippers/students/illegal immigrants.

[Ace-T]

The people I work with are great and it is good to be able to go to work and get on with folks.

However I am a bit odd about keeping my work and home life separate. I very rarely socialise with work colleagues, as after being with them for 10 hours a day as I would rather come home and spend some time with my husband.

In addition when 'work socialising', work/people from work are generally the only subjects and I find that a bit dull really.

It also helps the work/life balance be more, well, balanced!

Trace

[Driller]

Pigeon said:

Driller said:

Very bad idea. I became overly friendly/familiar (no, not like that) with my last assistant and she starting taking the piss and I had to fire her. Never again. You can't be friedly with someone and then expect them to take orders afterwards without questioning them.

You can't expect someone to take orders without questioning them anyway, unless we are talking about the forces.

OK, maybe I should have said "instructions". But if I tell my assistant to do something I expect her to do it and not challenge me like the last one did. There is too much stress and not enough time to have such discussions in e surgery time. Most of the time the assistant will do stuff without having to be told anyway.

[okgo]

I have always gone out and gotten drunk with colleagues boss's. Had relations with them too.

Lifes too short.

[VX Foxy]

I went to work for a chap who was a supplier to a company I previously worked for. I got on well with him and saw him as a friend. When I started working for him things were fine...for about a week, then he cut all social ties. After working (directly) for him for about 5 years I didn't even get invited to his wedding and he didn't tell me that his wife was expecting. I had zero respect for him.

IMO socialising - within reason - is beneficial.

[Mobile Chicane]

I don't socialise with bosses / subordinates, since in my mind at least that's muddying an economic relationship with a personal one.

Co-workers are different, however among the best advice I've ever been given is 'never trust anyone you work with'. There are exceptions to this, but 99% of the time it is true.

[NDA]

Mobile Chicane said:

I don't socialise with bosses / subordinates, since in my mind at least that's muddying an economic relationship with a personal one.

Co-workers are different

There's much truth in this.

I was CEO of a large company for many years, socialising with the Board Directors was reasonably frequent, dinners with wives etc, but it was moderately formal. I would rarely see the more junior staff socially as it made them a little uncomfortable - I'd take them for lunch regularly to see how they were doing, but not evening things.

However the various teams (co-workers) were always socialising (at least twice a week) and I thought it was a very good thing and led to great team atmospheres.

I used to try to gently dissuade them from shagging each other though, it's the inevitable break-ups that cause issues.

[BlackVanGirl]

One of the worst mistakes I've made as an employer* was to hire a couple. Few months down the line, they split up. Emotional carnage. Reliability out of the window for the dumpee, the dumper anxious about everything and me stuck in the middle with a new rota scheduling problem and an uneasy truce whenever the pair met. Horrible. Never again!

My situation's tricky because of the extremely personal nature of my employee's jobs - they are right in the middle of my life, in my home, 24 hours a day. They come from the same demographic as my friendship groups and there are overlaps. And yet, I have to be the boss, the manager. 24/7. I hire and fire, deal with disciplinary and pastoral issues, balance rotas and holidays and leave and cover. I end up working quite hard to avoid becoming friends with these women - it's not compatible with being a responsible employer for me, I get too emotionally involved. I am friends with one who's now my housemate, one of my favourite people and a love interest to boot (eek) - I hope I never have to unpick that one into strictly separate social and professional relationships. Much easier to be friendly, but not friends.

*

I employ Personal Assistants, PAs, whose jobs are to support me with every aspect of daily living, including personal care and some nursing tasks (after appropriate training). I am entirely dependant on them for my continued existence outside of an institution.

[Colonial]

I'm in the middle of the ladder.

I get on pretty well with most people, we often go out and have a few drinks, things like that.

Smaller company which helps - everyone knows their place, we have banter but also do the work and do it well.