Why do we crave attention?

[_Batty_]

My mate who is gay is a great lad, honest and a great laugh, but as soon as has a few drinks he suddenly turns into this screaming shouting child, basically becoming an attention we.
Why do some people do this?
It's not just gays, blokes do it, posing in cars, girls in heels...

is it purely a sexual thing?

or is it infact a lack of self confidence?

what about trolls on websites? and those who do nothing but argue? what makes us do this?

random Friday thought

[Impulse 9]

_Batty_ said:

My mate who is gay is a great lad, honest and a great laugh, but as soon as has a few drinks he suddenly turns into this screaming shouting child, basically becoming an attention we.
Why do some people do this?
It's not just gays, blokes do it, posing in cars, girls in heels...

is it purely a sexual thing?

or is it infact a lack of self confidence?

what about trolls on websites? and those who do nothing but argue? what makes us do this?

random Friday thought

I've bolded the parts that are true. And put the false parts in italics...


More seriously, I dont know.

Sorry

[patmahe]

Its low self esteem which means we feel a need to be approved of (or at least not scorned by) others in order to validate ourselves.

ETA: I heard this from someone with a reasonable level of knowledge in this area, and no I wasn't undergoing a session at the time

Edited by patmahe on Friday 14th August 16:27

[lazyitus]

I think it's a basic instinct. In it's rawest form, if nobody is affected by you or nobody takes any notice, then there is no reason for your existance, I suppose.

It just shows in varying degrees. I think the more insecure somebody is, the more they seek recognition.

[_Batty_]

lazyitus said:

I think it's a basic instinct. In it's rawest form, if nobody is affected by you or nobody takes any notice, then there is no reason for your existance, I suppose.

It just shows in varying degrees. I think the more insecure somebody is, the more they seek recognition.

so the quiet ones are always full of confidence?
im not looking for any answers as such.. just interested in the topic.

[rfn]

Impulse 9 said:

I've bolded the parts that are true. And put the false parts in italics...

It's nothing to do with being gay (why would it be!?), it's just a part of certain people's lives - notably these people have low self esteem they feel the need to prove everything to make them feel better about themselves.

[lazyitus]

_Batty_ said:

lazyitus said:

I think it's a basic instinct. In it's rawest form, if nobody is affected by you or nobody takes any notice, then there is no reason for your existance, I suppose.

It just shows in varying degrees. I think the more insecure somebody is, the more they seek recognition.

so the quiet ones are always full of confidence?
im not looking for any answers as such.. just interested in the topic.

No not necessarily. I think insecure people can also be quiet and sit in the corner.

I don't think one particular group of insecure people are all the same. I just reckon that many find it to be 'their' solution to a mental issue. Other's solutions are to sit quietly, keeping themselves to themselves.

Equally, many confident people can be boisterous aswell as quietly confident.

As I say, it's a basic need in all of us to be recognised/loved. It just shows in differing degrees in all groups.

TO ADD -

I think Pistonheads forums are a great example. I defy anybody to say they don't check a thread to see if somebody has quoted/responded to something they've written. That's the same thing. Nobody would post on here if everything fell on deaf ears (blind eyes if you like).

People look to build rapport and conversation on forums. That is a form of attention. It's in all walks of life.

Edited by lazyitus on Friday 14th August 16:44

[_Batty_]

ok, so what causes this? not enough attention at child age?
or bullying at school?

[GTIR]

As has been said already really. Some people just like to feel wanted but not just by one person, once they get a little bit of "that person likes me, I am in control" they move onto the next person. Users come in all shapes, forms and genders.

It's a kind of self harming really as people generally find out soon enough and the end result is that attention seeking person feels even lower than before!
I have seen it on PH a few times, I feel desperatey sorry for the people effected but at the end of the day, fuvk em!

They usually just talk about themselves.


ETA song I just heard on Radio2 is quite apt!

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=LX5xk1G_Dzs

Edited by GTIR on Friday 14th August 16:49

[lazyitus]

_Batty_ said:

ok, so what causes this? not enough attention at child age?
or bullying at school?

Both those points could increase attention craving. However, the cause, as I've said is an in built natural desire. It's only my opinion on the subject and it could be totally wrong. But I believe it to be quite accurate.

Edited by lazyitus on Friday 14th August 16:48

[lady topaz]

[quote

what about trolls on websites? and those who do nothing but argue? what makes us do this?


[/quote]

I had a run in on the Biker Banter forum last eve with a guy who posted Imho (and a load of others I might add), a load of drivel. Twice I was advised not to feed the Troll. Sometimes you just can't help yourself. All this achieved was me getting annoyed and I presume for him the satisfaction of winding someone up.

On another note, look at Harry Flashman on here. An adored legend, who spins yarns of his sexual antics very akin to the original character, but his latest thread just fades into obscurity. Is there an ounce of fact to his tales or is it just a cry for approval and attention? Who knows!

[Poledriver]

I have a friend like this. Normally she's a lovely, kind, caring person. If she's in the wrong mood, and has a little too much alcohol... BANG! instant mayhem (See "Blind date"). She has to be the centre of attention, shouting, singing, dancing (on the bar/table) and woe betide anyone who ignores her/tries to calm her down!
The nearest I have seen to this was an ex who was diagnosed as Bipolar, this was bought on with a small addition of alcohol!

Edited by Poledriver on Friday 14th August 18:40

[Murray993]

_Batty_ said:

My mate who is gay is a great lad

Yeah right another "my mate" thread....

[_Batty_]

lady topaz said:

I had a run in on the Biker Banter forum last eve with a guy who posted Imho (and a load of others I might add), a load of drivel. Twice I was advised not to feed the Troll. Sometimes you just can't help yourself. All this achieved was me getting annoyed and I presume for him the satisfaction of winding someone up.

On another note, look at Harry Flashman on here. An adored legend, who spins yarns of his sexual antics very akin to the original character, but his latest thread just fades into obscurity. Is there an ounce of fact to his tales or is it just a cry for approval and attention? Who knows!

indeed, but how can you tell? Dokic was adoreed by many when 'he' first joined. 'Gushing fool' quote springs to mind.
i wonder what the person got from leading people on?
the satisfaction of messing with peoples heads? how does someone feel good about it?
there are many tall stories on PH, from Cleaners, to the Welsh spelling of Ambulance, to House prices rises to Men who used to be women.

without the 'custard test' on each thread, we all could be lead on....

Edited by _Batty_ on Friday 14th August 18:55

[Fort Jefferson]

patmahe said:

Its low self esteem which means we feel a need to be approved of (or at least not scorned by) others in order to validate ourselves.

This is the reason we get so many "What Car" threads on PH.

[r1ch]

You might be reading into it a bit too much. Some people just get rowdy after a drink.

Like, nerdy people who have a few pints and feel the urge to fight the biggest guys in the pub.

Alcohol makes people act differently. Sure it might be an attention seeking act, but it could also just be....being drunk.

[GTIR]

r1ch said:

You might be reading into it a bit too much. Some people just get rowdy after a drink.

Like, nerdy people who have a few pints and feel the urge to fight the biggest guys in the pub.

Alcohol makes people act differently. Sure it might be an attention seeking act, but it could also just be....being drunk.

I think that's just finding your limits, something most people do by the time they are early 20's, although others are just idiots. (I went out with one. Shameful woman)

[Murray993]

GTIR said:

r1ch said:

You might be reading into it a bit too much. Some people just get rowdy after a drink.

Like, nerdy people who have a few pints and feel the urge to fight the biggest guys in the pub.

Alcohol makes people act differently. Sure it might be an attention seeking act, but it could also just be....being drunk.

I think that's just finding your limits, something most people do by the time they are early 20's, although others are just idiots. (I went out with one. Shameful woman)

I've been out with her.

[Steamer]

_Batty_ said:

...
It's not just gays, blokes do it, posing in cars, girls in heels...
....

And people putting the: at the end of every frickin' post?

[wulluff]

lazyitus said:

_Batty_ said:

lazyitus said:

I think it's a basic instinct. In it's rawest form, if nobody is affected by you or nobody takes any notice, then there is no reason for your existance, I suppose.

It just shows in varying degrees. I think the more insecure somebody is, the more they seek recognition.

so the quiet ones are always full of confidence?
im not looking for any answers as such.. just interested in the topic.

No not necessarily. I think insecure people can also be quiet and sit in the corner.

I don't think one particular group of insecure people are all the same. I just reckon that many find it to be 'their' solution to a mental issue. Other's solutions are to sit quietly, keeping themselves to themselves.

Equally, many confident people can be boisterous aswell as quietly confident.

As I say, it's a basic need in all of us to be recognised/loved. It just shows in differing degrees in all groups.

TO ADD -

I think Pistonheads forums are a great example. I defy anybody to say they don't check a thread to see if somebody has quoted/responded to something they've written. That's the same thing. Nobody would post on here if everything fell on deaf ears (blind eyes if you like).

People look to build rapport and conversation on forums. That is a form of attention. It's in all walks of life.

Edited by lazyitus on Friday 14th August 16:44

My oh my thats a lot of checking from 15,000 posts in 90 months.