I need a Swan joke...
Discussion
There was a guy up before the courts for 'killing and eating a swan', and when giving evidence in his own defence he offered the following:
'Your Honour, I admit that I did kill the swan, albeit accidently, whilst out hunting. Then left with the body of the swan, I thought that it seemed a shame to let the corpse be the fare of maggots or carrion to other wild animals, indeed it seemed almost disrespectful to Her Majesty. Then with the hunger faced by many in this World in mind, almost sacrilege to allow such good game to go to waste, when myself and my family who were struggling to make ends meet, could make up for the lack of protein in our diet with such a fayre!'
The Judge accepted that whilst the defendent had accepted his guilt, he had also in some respect made a uneasy choice in doing so. The Judge accepted the plea and pronounced a lenient sentence, consisting only of a caution. After the sentence had been passed and before the defendent left the dock, the Judge asked him just what Swan had tasted like as he was curious. The former defendent, said..'..well Your Honour, it tasted like Golden Eagle!'
'Your Honour, I admit that I did kill the swan, albeit accidently, whilst out hunting. Then left with the body of the swan, I thought that it seemed a shame to let the corpse be the fare of maggots or carrion to other wild animals, indeed it seemed almost disrespectful to Her Majesty. Then with the hunger faced by many in this World in mind, almost sacrilege to allow such good game to go to waste, when myself and my family who were struggling to make ends meet, could make up for the lack of protein in our diet with such a fayre!'
The Judge accepted that whilst the defendent had accepted his guilt, he had also in some respect made a uneasy choice in doing so. The Judge accepted the plea and pronounced a lenient sentence, consisting only of a caution. After the sentence had been passed and before the defendent left the dock, the Judge asked him just what Swan had tasted like as he was curious. The former defendent, said..'..well Your Honour, it tasted like Golden Eagle!'
Edited by 350GT on Friday 21st August 20:16
Edited by 350GT on Friday 21st August 20:16
350GT said:
There was a guy up before the courts for 'killing and eating a swan', and when giving evidence in his own defence he offered the following:
'Your Honour, I admit that I did kill the swan, albeit accidently, whilst out hunting. Then left with the body of the swan, I thought that it seemed a shame to let the corpse be the fare of maggots or carrion to other wild animals, indeed it seemed almost disrespectful to Her Majesty. Then with the hunger faced by many in this World in mind, almost sacrilege to allow such good game to go to waste, when myself and my family who were struggling to make ends meet, could make up for the lack of protein in our diet with such a fayre!'
The Judge accepted that whilst the defendent had accepted his guilt, he had also in some respect made a uneasy choice in doing so. The Judge accepted the plea and pronounced a lenient sentence, consisting only of a caution. After the sentence had been passed and before the defendent left the dock, the Judge asked him just what Swan had tasted like as he was curious. The former defendent, said..'..well Your Honour, it tasted like Golden Eagle!'
Judges can't hand down Cautions. 'Your Honour, I admit that I did kill the swan, albeit accidently, whilst out hunting. Then left with the body of the swan, I thought that it seemed a shame to let the corpse be the fare of maggots or carrion to other wild animals, indeed it seemed almost disrespectful to Her Majesty. Then with the hunger faced by many in this World in mind, almost sacrilege to allow such good game to go to waste, when myself and my family who were struggling to make ends meet, could make up for the lack of protein in our diet with such a fayre!'
The Judge accepted that whilst the defendent had accepted his guilt, he had also in some respect made a uneasy choice in doing so. The Judge accepted the plea and pronounced a lenient sentence, consisting only of a caution. After the sentence had been passed and before the defendent left the dock, the Judge asked him just what Swan had tasted like as he was curious. The former defendent, said..'..well Your Honour, it tasted like Golden Eagle!'
Edited by 350GT on Friday 21st August 20:16
Edited by 350GT on Friday 21st August 20:16
10 Pence Short said:
350GT said:
There was a guy up before the courts for 'killing and eating a swan', and when giving evidence in his own defence he offered the following:
'Your Honour, I admit that I did kill the swan, albeit accidently, whilst out hunting. Then left with the body of the swan, I thought that it seemed a shame to let the corpse be the fare of maggots or carrion to other wild animals, indeed it seemed almost disrespectful to Her Majesty. Then with the hunger faced by many in this World in mind, almost sacrilege to allow such good game to go to waste, when myself and my family who were struggling to make ends meet, could make up for the lack of protein in our diet with such a fayre!'
The Judge accepted that whilst the defendent had accepted his guilt, he had also in some respect made a uneasy choice in doing so. The Judge accepted the plea and pronounced a lenient sentence, consisting only of a caution. After the sentence had been passed and before the defendent left the dock, the Judge asked him just what Swan had tasted like as he was curious. The former defendent, said..'..well Your Honour, it tasted like Golden Eagle!'
Judges can't hand down Cautions. 'Your Honour, I admit that I did kill the swan, albeit accidently, whilst out hunting. Then left with the body of the swan, I thought that it seemed a shame to let the corpse be the fare of maggots or carrion to other wild animals, indeed it seemed almost disrespectful to Her Majesty. Then with the hunger faced by many in this World in mind, almost sacrilege to allow such good game to go to waste, when myself and my family who were struggling to make ends meet, could make up for the lack of protein in our diet with such a fayre!'
The Judge accepted that whilst the defendent had accepted his guilt, he had also in some respect made a uneasy choice in doing so. The Judge accepted the plea and pronounced a lenient sentence, consisting only of a caution. After the sentence had been passed and before the defendent left the dock, the Judge asked him just what Swan had tasted like as he was curious. The former defendent, said..'..well Your Honour, it tasted like Golden Eagle!'
Edited by 350GT on Friday 21st August 20:16
Edited by 350GT on Friday 21st August 20:16
350GT said:
10 Pence Short said:
350GT said:
There was a guy up before the courts for 'killing and eating a swan', and when giving evidence in his own defence he offered the following:
'Your Honour, I admit that I did kill the swan, albeit accidently, whilst out hunting. Then left with the body of the swan, I thought that it seemed a shame to let the corpse be the fare of maggots or carrion to other wild animals, indeed it seemed almost disrespectful to Her Majesty. Then with the hunger faced by many in this World in mind, almost sacrilege to allow such good game to go to waste, when myself and my family who were struggling to make ends meet, could make up for the lack of protein in our diet with such a fayre!'
The Judge accepted that whilst the defendent had accepted his guilt, he had also in some respect made a uneasy choice in doing so. The Judge accepted the plea and pronounced a lenient sentence, consisting only of a caution. After the sentence had been passed and before the defendent left the dock, the Judge asked him just what Swan had tasted like as he was curious. The former defendent, said..'..well Your Honour, it tasted like Golden Eagle!'
Judges can't hand down Cautions. 'Your Honour, I admit that I did kill the swan, albeit accidently, whilst out hunting. Then left with the body of the swan, I thought that it seemed a shame to let the corpse be the fare of maggots or carrion to other wild animals, indeed it seemed almost disrespectful to Her Majesty. Then with the hunger faced by many in this World in mind, almost sacrilege to allow such good game to go to waste, when myself and my family who were struggling to make ends meet, could make up for the lack of protein in our diet with such a fayre!'
The Judge accepted that whilst the defendent had accepted his guilt, he had also in some respect made a uneasy choice in doing so. The Judge accepted the plea and pronounced a lenient sentence, consisting only of a caution. After the sentence had been passed and before the defendent left the dock, the Judge asked him just what Swan had tasted like as he was curious. The former defendent, said..'..well Your Honour, it tasted like Golden Eagle!'
Edited by 350GT on Friday 21st August 20:16
Edited by 350GT on Friday 21st August 20:16
Good.
What are you wearing?
Man walks into a pub and asks the landlord for a pint. While hes getting it the man sees a big notice saying "No Swans"
Just then the door opens and a swan walks in.
"Oi You! I've told you we don't want your sort in here!"
The swan bows its head and shuffles out the door.
"That was a bit nasty," says the man.
"Yeah I know," says the landlord "But once they get a few pints inside them, they start giving it all of that"
(at this point its neccesary to make you arm look like swan with a yapping beak. Errr do you know what I mean? Its a kind of a visual joke.)
You've been great, I've been The Hypno Toad, I'm here all week, tell your friends, try the veal, don't forget to tip your waitress, I'll get me coat.......
Just then the door opens and a swan walks in.
"Oi You! I've told you we don't want your sort in here!"
The swan bows its head and shuffles out the door.
"That was a bit nasty," says the man.
"Yeah I know," says the landlord "But once they get a few pints inside them, they start giving it all of that"
(at this point its neccesary to make you arm look like swan with a yapping beak. Errr do you know what I mean? Its a kind of a visual joke.)
You've been great, I've been The Hypno Toad, I'm here all week, tell your friends, try the veal, don't forget to tip your waitress, I'll get me coat.......
The Hypno-Toad said:
Man walks into a pub and asks the landlord for a pint. While hes getting it the man sees a big notice saying "No Swans"
Just then the door opens and a swan walks in.
"Oi You! I've told you we don't want your sort in here!"
The swan bows its head and shuffles out the door.
"That was a bit nasty," says the man.
"Yeah I know," says the landlord "But once they get a few pints inside them, they start giving it all of that"
(at this point its neccesary to make you arm look like swan with a yapping beak. Errr do you know what I mean? Its a kind of a visual joke.)
You've been great, I've been The Hypno Toad, I'm here all week, tell your friends, try the veal, don't forget to tip your waitress, I'll get me coat.......
Sounds more like a lobster joke to me!Just then the door opens and a swan walks in.
"Oi You! I've told you we don't want your sort in here!"
The swan bows its head and shuffles out the door.
"That was a bit nasty," says the man.
"Yeah I know," says the landlord "But once they get a few pints inside them, they start giving it all of that"
(at this point its neccesary to make you arm look like swan with a yapping beak. Errr do you know what I mean? Its a kind of a visual joke.)
You've been great, I've been The Hypno Toad, I'm here all week, tell your friends, try the veal, don't forget to tip your waitress, I'll get me coat.......
Not a swan joke, but it made me laugh and it involved a swan...Sorta...
Sat in the pub, and this crazy girl for no reason, that I knew off shouted at us across the table that
"You wont be f
king laughing, when your date raped by a swan"
Wierd thing was, we werent even remotely talking about rape, for that matter anything related to sex, so no idea where or why she blurted that out
We are now wary of the rohypnol swan
Sat in the pub, and this crazy girl for no reason, that I knew off shouted at us across the table that
"You wont be f
king laughing, when your date raped by a swan"Wierd thing was, we werent even remotely talking about rape, for that matter anything related to sex, so no idea where or why she blurted that out
We are now wary of the rohypnol swan
A bloke goes into a pub and without going to the bar, sits down at a table and pulls a swan out of a bag. The landlord watches him rip one of its legs off and eat it. He does the same with the other leg and then starts on the wings. The landlord says "Are you going to buy a drink?" the bloke says "Nah mate, I'm going after this swan".
Well you did ask!
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