Farting avoidance advice

[Fantic SuperT]

I'm going to be in a meeting all day on Friday. The room will be quite stuffy and well sound-proofed from exterior noise. For the sake of politeness, I'd like to fart as little as possible. Can anyone give advice on how to reduce or eliminate farting for a day? I'd settle for silent and low-odour, so some (definitely not all) women may have some useful tips here.
I'm guessing types of food and drink, plus meal times and maybe other factors (toilet-visit timing, breathing-style? exercise?) could be relevant.
What are the do's and do-nots to avoid flatulence?
Your helpful advice would be appreciated, but no doubt some war-stories will have to be told as well.

[eldar]

Nice big cork. Just don't let the pressure build up too much.

[BrabusMog]

eldar said:

Nice big cork. Just don't let the pressure build up too much.

Sound advice.

[The Skunk]

Just one piece of advice - never trust a fart.

Ever.

[Steamer]

A cup of mint tea.

It tastes like crap but it will settle you stomach for a while.

[eldar]

Turn it into an artform.

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Le_P%C3%A9tomane

[Westy Pre-Lit]

Why not just be proud of your farts, I know I am.

[Mobile Chicane]

WTF? I've never farted in the office / a meeting, ever.

[BigAlinEmbra]

Just let them oot on the sly and look disgusted at whoever is next to you.

[The Ben]

Never gamble on the fart lottery, no one wants to pull out a shart... How embarrasing.

[CHIEF]

Pull my finger.

[isee]

Mobile Chicane said:

WTF? I've never farted in the office / a meeting, ever.

I've never farted in public. Even my girlfriend of 6 years never had to be a victim of my uber smelly farts. And I would say I fart more than average.
Op: just hold it in until you are in the toilet or in a more appropriate environment perhaps?

[Tiggsy]

as above....never understood public farters. IMO its one step removed from taking a dump then chucking it at someone!

[tig]

When my family come over for xmas I always make sure these are in stock

http://www.flat-d.com/

[Quick silver]

Fantic SuperT said:

Your helpful advice would be appreciated, but no doubt some war-stories will have to be told as well.

Do you own a dog?

tig said:

When my family come over for xmas I always make sure these are in stock

http://www.flat-d.com/

Nice one.........Just ordered the mrs a box full



ETA spleling

Edited by Quick silver on Tuesday 25th August 13:33

[B16JUS]

The Skunk said:

Just one piece of advice - never trust a fart.

Ever.

+1

If a fart goes wrong thats never a nice thing

J

[Andy_stook_2k]

Silent and deadly is always the best way.
Remember he who smelt it dealt it.

[OllieWinchester]

Take your dog with you to the meeting.

[Vixpy1]

OllieWinchester said:

Take your dog with you to the meeting.

What does he take if he is not married?

[JenRN]

Take an air-horn with you, you can purchase one at your local auto supply store, or off the internet (ebay). Take the air-horm with you to the meeting. When you feel the need to pass gas, blast off the air-horm and no one will hear you fart. As the odor drifts, frown at the person to your left and hold your nose. This way every one will think that the other person produced the flatus, not you, and you will not be embrassed.