Reserving tables without goods in hand!

[SoapyShowerBoy]

I have purchased the cup of coffee I should be able to sit in a fking seat! Why can't these stupid tts get the system right? Arrive, queue up, buy coffee, and sit down. NOT and I repeat for the sake of my fking sanity NOT arrive with scouting party. Send scouting party out to get a seat. Then queue. Now you have fked the whole system up. You are at the back of the queue but first with a seat. I on the other hand have arrived without a scouting party and I have to watch the stupid bloated dried up prolapsing marble faced neck wobbling chin blur fkguts who frankly challenge some of the apparently straightforward assumptions between the distinction of plants and animals that classification is impossible and that I know not what the fk they are 'kohooing' and waveing to their equal pound life to signal they have secured a table WITHOUT ANY fkING GOODS.

I have purchased a fking cup of bd coffee, I should be able to have a fking seat. bkss. bkssing bkss.

[M3CHA-MONK3Y]

Good rant 9/10

Good use of technical offensive terms and nicely spread use of swear words.
Could be improved by including more David Attenborough terminology.

All in all, a very well laid out rant.

[fathomfive]

You should lay off the caffeine.


ETA: good rant.

Edited by fathomfive on Friday 28th August 12:16

[ThatPhilBrettGuy]

Is this what Twitter would be like if they allowed more than 140 characters per post?

[Arese]

If you're going to take your wife out to dinner at the Asda cafe what do you expect?

[kev87]

get your own friends to reserve you a table.

[SoapyShowerBoy]

kev87 said:

get your own friends to reserve you a table.

I don't want to beat the system!

[HarryW]

9/10

[GT03ROB]

kev87 said:

get your own friends to reserve you a table.

He's got no friends.....

[adam85]

That's a good ad for body building supplements right there

[Justayellowbadge]

Wow.

You get that wound up over that?

What happens when you experience something that is not monumentally inconsequential?

[HarryW]

Shirley you just take a table and wait for the service to come to you

[71notout]

Worst "I hang around in swanky Coffee houses" post ever!

[Murray993]

excellent rant, only lacking in a topic we empathy for.

[V8mate]

71notout said:

Worst "I hang around in Bakers Oven" post ever!

EFA

[Neil_H]

Pour coffee over seat thief. Congratulations! You no longer need a seat and can now leave the coffee shop and get on with life.

[10 Pence Short]

Ganglandboss said:

You chat up gay cleaners in the gym and now you're drinking frappuchino (or however you spell it) in poncy coffee bars? I'm getting very worried about you.

Sounds like a normal 'Lounge' kind of gauy to me.

[DocJock]

If it bothers you that much, just go and sit at one of the occupied tables.

When they start bleating point out the fact that you, unlike them, have purchased some goods.

[V8mate]

10 Pence Short said:

Ganglandboss said:

You chat up gay cleaners in the gym and now you're drinking frappuchino (or however you spell it) in poncy coffee bars? I'm getting very worried about you.

Sounds like a normal 'Lounge' kind of gauy to me.

I wonder why GLB deleted his post?

Maybe he re-read it after posting and saw too much of himself in his critique?

[BrabusMog]

Whenever I meet up with my mum she likes to be taken for a coffee. I tell her to sit down whilst I get coffee and cakes so we can ensure we can have a chat.

Just because you are there to use the free wireless to no doubt do some important work and drink a crappucino doesn't give you the right to have a seat if people have the gumption in them to secure a seat. In fact, if people are coming with friends there is a good chance they will be at least spending double what you are, making them a more important customer.