More woman trouble - Mariage/divorce etc.

[218bhp]

I'm posting this under another name because my wife knows my PH username and could easily use this against me of/when the st hits the fan

Over 2 years ago I set up this username to do a very similar thing, our marriage had taken a turn for the worse but despite everyone here saying I should call it quits, we worked at it and tried to make things work. However, after all this time I think we've done little to improve things and we're getting to the end of the road.

Over the last week or so, my wife has said that she plans on moving back in with her Mum. However, whilst she's saying this I'm trying to be sensible and level headed about it all and try to encourage her to talk about things. When she does start talking about it, it ends in tears and us both saying how we're each other's best friend and we love each other.

But do we?

I really cant say hand-on-heart that I do love her to bits any more. The last few years have left me feeling numb towards her and I cant remember the last time I looked at her and thought "wow, I love you". However, after an argument, I feel that she has torn my heart out and I hate to see her upset - I want to protect her and stop her from getting hurt. While in that mood I feel I do love her like I did when we got married.

Then there are the really silly things, like her inability to load music onto her iPod or burn a CD - all things I do for her and she wouldnt know where to start. I just dont like the feeling that I'd be leaving her to fed for herself.

Yet on the other side of the coin, we argue 3-4 times a week, she regularly says she wants to move out (then I talk her out of it) and I read the match.com thread on here and think "I'd like to try dating again, to see if there is someone out there who can make me happy all of the time"

I read here this morning that many couples stay together because it's the easy option, both financially and emotionally. I'm a little worried that we're doing that.

Discuss...............

[Neil_H]

Bloody hell, not another one.

Bin her and shag her best mate.

HTH

[DrTre]

TBH, there's enough info there for her to work out who you are if she's that way inclined.

[Muzzer]

Christ, this place is turning into a branch of Relate.

218bhp said:

Then there are the really silly things, like her inability to load music onto her iPod or burn a CD - all things I do for her and she wouldnt know where to start. I just dont like the feeling that I'd be leaving her to fed for herself.

Lots of people think that partners/parents/friends couldn't cope for themselves. For example, my OH is convinced that if anything happened to her Mum, her Dad would actually starve and be living in a messy, ruined house.

However, the resourcefulness of a human comes to the fore when it's necessary. She can't do all those things because she doesn't have to. Unless she's a total cretin, I'm sure she'd manage without you.

[triggersbroom]

DrTre said:

TBH, there's enough info there for her to work out who you are if she's that way inclined.

+1

[grumbledoak]

You already know the answer. You knew it two years ago. Why are you torturing yourself? And her?

If it is over, it is over. It won't come back. If there are kids involved there is some honour, if little sense, in persevering. If there are no kids, walk away.

[218bhp]

DrTre said:

TBH, there's enough info there for her to work out who you are if she's that way inclined.

Yes, but she cant go onto my normal username and click to find my other psost

[218bhp]

grumbledoak said:

You already know the answer. You knew it two years ago. Why are you torturing yourself? And her?

If it is over, it is over. It won't come back. If there are kids involved there is some honour, if little sense, in persevering. If there are no kids, walk away.

No kids and no plans for any. The few times we've spoken about it we've said to each other that we'd like to start trying for them in about 2 years time.

During one argument when she said she was going to leave I used some advice I picked up here and decided to call her bluff by agreeing to it. However she was still there when I got home from work, having left my mobile at home so she couldnt' text me.

I also said to her once that if she was going to leave, I'd rather she did it now so there was still a chance of me finding someone else in time to have kids etc.

[Steamer]

218bhp said:

I'm posting this under another name because my wife knows my PH username.

218bhp

I bet every woman on here that knows her onions about cars is speed dialing the divorce lawyer as we speak ...

especially if there is say a:

mercedes slk 320, BMW 3-Series Coupe 2.5 or Chrysler 300C Touring 3.0 V6 parked on the drive!

I'll get my anorak!

[Mobile Chicane]

218bhp said:

...I read the match.com thread on here and think "I'd like to try dating again, to see if there is someone out there who can make me happy all of the time"...

Really? Which bits have you read? Or more to the point, which bits haven't you read.

If you want to leave your wife in order to try 21st century dating (and all that involves), first buy a cheese grater and give yourself a good rub-down every day. It will be far less painful, not to mention cheaper in the long run.

If you want to leave, then leave. Just don't ship out because you think the grass may be greener somewhere else.

Edited by Mobile Chicane on Friday 4th September 10:59

[james_gt3rs]

Steamer said:

218bhp said:

I'm posting this under another name because my wife knows my PH username.

218bhp

I bet every woman on here that knows her onions about cars is speed dialing the divorce lawyer as we speak ...

especially if there is say a:

mercedes slk 320, BMW 3-Series Coupe 2.5 or Chrysler 300C Touring 3.0 V6 parked on the drive!

I'll get my anorak!

Or a Lotus Exige S...

[s3fella]

She'll never leave you. How could anyone live without updated IPOD music..?

[218bhp]

Mobile Chicane said:

218bhp said:

...I read the match.com thread on here and think "I'd like to try dating again, to see if there is someone out there who can make me happy all of the time"...

Really? Which bits have you read? Or more to the point, which bits haven't you read.

If you want to leave your wife in order to try 21st century dating (and all that involves), first buy a cheese grater and give yourself a good rub-down every day. It will be far less painful, not to mention cheaper in the long run.

If you want to leave, then leave. Just don't ship out because you think the grass may be greener somewhere else.

Edited by Mobile Chicane on Friday 4th September 10:59

The problem is that I dont really want to leave. I can remember the good days we've had and I want to keep on living those days.

I've spent the last 2 years trying my hardest to make it work, but now I just feel exhausted and dispondant.

It is only in the last month that I have started to consider life without her and thought about what it would be like to be single again.

[shirt]

to save everyone the bother of looking:

http://www.pistonheads.com/gassing/topic.asp?h=0&a...

i say get rid. 3-4 arguments a week should tell you something.

[218bhp]

shirt said:

to save everyone the bother of looking:

http://www.pistonheads.com/gassing/topic.asp?h=0&a...

i say get rid. 3-4 arguments a week should tell you something.

Things have changed a little since thenin that she now works 30 hrs a week.

[Bing o]

shirt said:

to save everyone the bother of looking:

http://www.pistonheads.com/gassing/topic.asp?h=0&a...

i say get rid. 3-4 arguments a week should tell you something.

Definitely - ditch the bh. Married for looks and filth alone - not good enough I'm afraid.

[Gargamel]

Send her back to her Mum, she wants a life at others expense. Let her have one. Just not at your expense.

[Don]

Christ on a bike, man. We told you to bin her then. The advice hasn't changed.

This woman will simply make your life st for the remainder of your days.

There are good women out there that like sex too. Find one.

[GTIR]

s3fella said:

She'll never leave you. How could anyone live without updated IPOD music..?

IPod is a trademark of Apple Inc. Other music players are available from all good electrical retailers, and Ebay. Your home is at risk if you do not keep up Repayments on mortgages and loans secured upon it, or get divorced. Views expressed on this forum are entirely the opinions of the poster and are in way affiliated with PH, or Ted. Oh hail holy Ted.

Cant be too careful fella!

[Muzzer]

shirt said:

to save everyone the bother of looking:

http://www.pistonheads.com/gassing/topic.asp?h=0&a...

i say get rid. 3-4 arguments a week should tell you something.

Oh - it's you and her.

Get shot - she was a sponging waste of space then and it seems you still resent her for it.