Playgroup Mums - Sorry not a MILF thread.
Playgroup Mums - Sorry not a MILF thread.
Author
Discussion

rhinochopig

Original Poster:

17,932 posts

227 months

Friday 11th September 2009
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There's no wonder why fathers have less involvement with their kids than mums want. I went to the music group with my 6th month old son this morning. I was the only chap there. No one made eye contact, no one said hello, in fact they were quite frosty. When I said hello I was greeted with the minimum response possible. I was made to feel like some kind of sex pest, which I could understand if I was without a child, sporting a massive erection, and wearing a red velvet dressing gown.

It's not just me this has happened to either, other male friends report similar receptions at mainly mum's groups.

So mums, next time you're bhing about how little your husband does to help with your children's activities consider why that is.

And no I don't look like a Paedo.

Puggit

49,794 posts

277 months

Friday 11th September 2009
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Must agree - every time I've taken the kids somewhere alone I have also felt ostracized. Make an effort and chat to some, and they'll quickly move on to talk to someone else and cut you out.

JustDerv

296 posts

237 months

Friday 11th September 2009
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Nothing new here and I'm glad I'm not the only one! Same experience at my Daughter's Primary, I'm divorced from her Mum now and attend school plays on my own, think it's all the wimmin thinking they should be the only ones involved in their offspring's education!

Also, trying to get the school to send information on my Daughter's progress is a nightmare. They happily send all reports to her Mum, who doesn't care a jot, yet it's taken me over a year and eventually a complaint to the LA, to get them to also include me on the postage list.

dwaynepipe

70 posts

214 months

Friday 11th September 2009
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[quote=rhinochopig]I was made to feel like some kind of sex pest, which I could understand if I was without a child, sporting a massive erection, and wearing a red velvet dressing gown.quote]

sorry but that just made me lol. worth logging in this morning for that alone!!

cs02rm0

13,856 posts

220 months

Friday 11th September 2009
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This is a MILF thread isn't it... you're just cheesed off you couldn't get to chat them up? wink

R39S1

2,384 posts

239 months

Friday 11th September 2009
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Be patient. The school run is great once the mum mafia have put you through their checking system and got to know you. Lots of Yummy mummies happy to chat to Mr Nice Dad. "Oh why can't my husband be more like you?" Bingo! winklicksmokinangel

mervynp

366 posts

290 months

Friday 11th September 2009
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Nappa said:
Same happened to me, so I can fully empathise. It has also happened to my wife, when making an effort to get 'out and about' and meet some people. Poor thing never went back as she was so embarrassed at being isolated and ignored for an hour.

Amazing how the leaflets for these things always say something cheery 'come and have a coffee & a chat with other mums'

Should read 'we are already in a clique, we do not want or need your lowly contribution to our social group, we are already as self-important as we could ever hope to be'
Something like that anyway.
This also happened to my wife, so she just went to another playgroup and made a load of friends quite quickly. I have been fine when I have been along, admittedly this is rare but I was made quite welcome. I think it depends more on the group than anything else, around our way it is the NCT organised group who is the worst for this, most of the church organised ones are much better.

DrTre

12,957 posts

261 months

Friday 11th September 2009
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JustDerv said:
Also, trying to get the school to send information on my Daughter's progress is a nightmare. They happily send all reports to her Mum, who doesn't care a jot, yet it's taken me over a year and eventually a complaint to the LA, to get them to also include me on the postage list.
That is waaaaay out of order. I'm amazed, genuinely amazed.

stifler

37,069 posts

217 months

Friday 11th September 2009
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It's like that for me too. Even the ones who we chatted to as couples in the antenatal classes aren't willing to engage in conversation, even if it's about their own child. Mind you we live in about the most anti-social place on earth, it makes the bronx seem like a swingers love-in.

Justayellowbadge

37,057 posts

271 months

Friday 11th September 2009
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DrTre said:
JustDerv said:
Also, trying to get the school to send information on my Daughter's progress is a nightmare. They happily send all reports to her Mum, who doesn't care a jot, yet it's taken me over a year and eventually a complaint to the LA, to get them to also include me on the postage list.
That is waaaaay out of order. I'm amazed, genuinely amazed.
I'm amazed he got it resolved in a year, tbh.

JustDerv

296 posts

237 months

Friday 11th September 2009
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Justayellowbadge said:
DrTre said:
JustDerv said:
Also, trying to get the school to send information on my Daughter's progress is a nightmare. They happily send all reports to her Mum, who doesn't care a jot, yet it's taken me over a year and eventually a complaint to the LA, to get them to also include me on the postage list.
That is waaaaay out of order. I'm amazed, genuinely amazed.
I'm amazed he got it resolved in a year, tbh.
"over a year" smile

Had to remind them of the 'legal position' regarding parental responsibility, and the fact that they're supposed to ask ALL parties with parental responsibility before taking the child out on school trips - which they hadn't....

off_again

13,917 posts

263 months

Friday 11th September 2009
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I am all one for sex equality and the like but I have to say that mothers are the worst bloody kind out there. I work from home a bit and have the chance to drop off and pick up my children from school (and nursery when they were there). The looks, stares and general "who the censored are you" is unbelievable. Talk about excluded and alienated. I am not the only one too, there are several other dads who do this and natuarlly we gravitate together away from the scary ones!

A friend recently had the chance to give up work for 6 months and spend time with his son. Great idea, but the grief that he got at drop off and pickup time was shocking. The politics of the playground is amazing. I joked about him getting chatted up within the week - he did! Now it happens most weeks because all of the women think he is single because he does the drop off and pickup.... and he has a new Audi.... prime catch for the playground mums...

Bloody shocking. And they complain about Golf Clubs!

hehe

SGirl

7,924 posts

290 months

Friday 11th September 2009
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It's not just you. I get that as well, and I'm female!

Mind you, the area you live in makes a difference. Here, if all the mothers have known each other since the days of their NHS postnatal get-togethers, they don't tend to accept "strangers" too readily.

Curiously, I've found that if you take the kids along to someone's birthday party, people will talk to you there. This is how I've got to the stage where I know a few of the other mothers to say hello to. (Nothing more than that, mind - I have neither the time nor the inclination to go to endless coffee mornings, and God forbid I should want to go jogging with any of them!!) But if your only interaction with them is at school, you'll quite possibly never even get to that stage.

I think some women just live in a peculiar, insulated little world.

That said, at our school we have a reasonable proportion of dads dropping off their kids as well, and they don't seem to be sidelined in any way. Again, though, it seems to depend on who's "known" in the area and who's not.

Maybe this is just a south-east thing. I certainly never encountered it in Wales.

Alex97

1,121 posts

217 months

Friday 11th September 2009
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This doesn't have too much relevance to this thread, but there's always a group of mums in Slug and Lettuce in Guildford on a Friday lunch complete with pushchairs and unruly youngsters (under 2s mostly) who slosh back glasses of wine and gin and tonics. I know life is stressful but come on....

BoRED S2upid

21,047 posts

269 months

Friday 11th September 2009
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Ive never had such an experience. Pick my GF's 3 yr odl son up quite regularly chat to the other kids and the other parents I don't get any funny looks. maybe it was the red velvet dressing gown that didn't do it for them.

rah1888

1,589 posts

216 months

Friday 11th September 2009
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Alex97 said:
This doesn't have too much relevance to this thread, but there's always a group of mums in Slug and Lettuce in Guildford on a Friday lunch complete with pushchairs and unruly youngsters (under 2s mostly) who slosh back glasses of wine and gin and tonics. I know life is stressful but come on....
Good. As long as they stay in one place, and don't continually get in my way with their stupid oversized pushchair things, I'm happy.

When i went out to get my lunch the other day two of them had stopped to talk to each other in Swan Lane, the part which is about 5 feet wide. Completely oblivious to the rest of the world who have better things to do than organise coffee mornings.

al1991

4,552 posts

209 months

Friday 11th September 2009
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Yep, had the same experience taking my little sister to pre-school. Though I think this is mainly because of the assumption that I am a teenage Dad, than because I'm a male. Having said that I have never seen any men there. Women are incredibly cliquey (sp?)

esselte

14,626 posts

296 months

Friday 11th September 2009
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Alex97 said:
unruly youngsters (under 2s mostly) who slosh back glasses of wine and gin and tonics.
That should keep the kids quiet for the afternoon

gti tim

1,633 posts

230 months

Friday 11th September 2009
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Mrs Gti had the same thing when she turned up at toddler group - a clear divide between the Burberry wearing, gold hoop 17yr old chain smoking chavs and the 'older' mums in their 30s who used to turn up in hubby's Range Rover or X5. She stuck it out though, went 3 times a week, and now has many friends and playmates for baby gti.

I, however, cannot. I have taken babygti on occasion, only to have the mums play with him and i sit there, drink my coffee and play with babygti. nothing like being the only bloke to be the odd one out.

The ones that talk to you are very nosey - ooh my husband is a blah blah blah, what do you do? Are you working? Yes I bloody well work - some of us work shifts and like days off in the week, so mind your own!

Today I shall be taking babygti out, but not to any toddler groups or playgrounds - we go look at manly things like trains, tractors and cars - he's quite happy and is learning.

CedGTV

2,538 posts

283 months

Friday 11th September 2009
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Took my 5 year old to the local pool for his swimming lesson the other week. This is the first time I've had the chance to do so as it's early afternoon lesson and I'm normally at work.

Here's the thing. Some little 12 year old "lifeguard" trots over and tells me that "I can't sit there like and watch the lesson, because-you-know-it's like not allowed like" no other explanation other than that and making me feel right uncomfortable.

I know exactly what you mean OP.



Edited by CedGTV on Friday 11th September 13:06