Medieval Banquet
Discussion
Weird topic, but at our tennis club we are having a Medieval Banquet. I don't know what it involves, I would hazard a guess at food and lots of beer. They have done banners, flags etc and have asked me to be the 'lord' on account of me being outspoken and (so they think) quite funny and I have a lovely lady as my erm... 'lady'.
They have asked me to think of some announcements to make... announcements... I haven't got a clue what they expect. I said I would do some research and obviously the best form of research is to appeal to many of thousands of people in the hope that one of you has either been to this sort of thing, or even better, been the lord.
Any ideas welcome!
They have asked me to think of some announcements to make... announcements... I haven't got a clue what they expect. I said I would do some research and obviously the best form of research is to appeal to many of thousands of people in the hope that one of you has either been to this sort of thing, or even better, been the lord.
Any ideas welcome!
AB said:
Weird topic, but at our tennis club we are having a Medieval Banquet. I don't know what it involves, I would hazard a guess at food and lots of beer. They have done banners, flags etc and have asked me to be the 'lord' on account of me being outspoken and (so they think) quite funny and I have a lovely lady as my erm... 'lady'.
They have asked me to think of some announcements to make... announcements... I haven't got a clue what they expect. I said I would do some research and obviously the best form of research is to appeal to many of thousands of people in the hope that one of you has either been to this sort of thing, or even better, been the lord.
Any ideas welcome!
Where?They have asked me to think of some announcements to make... announcements... I haven't got a clue what they expect. I said I would do some research and obviously the best form of research is to appeal to many of thousands of people in the hope that one of you has either been to this sort of thing, or even better, been the lord.
Any ideas welcome!
kers"?If it's anything like the one I went to:
"Welcome subjects to the next few hours of interminable hell of low quality food, lower quality drink, and entertainment so poor that to even use the word quality to describe it would make Chamberlains pronouncement of peace in our time seem accurate. We have laid on the least appealing and friendly people we could find to play the part of 'serving wenches', let me apologise in advance for the crap treatment you will receive. The wandering idiots we found wandering under the canal bridge earlier are putting the finishing touches of snot, gob and old scabs on the slop that will be flung at you in barely disguised contempt soon, and adding water to the drinks - best not to ask too much about that, as there are no working taps in the kitchen, I guess they brought the water in with them. As with all medieval banquets, a jester is expected; today, my subjects, I am happy to tell you that we are ALL being played for fools"
I didn't really enjoy it very much.
"Welcome subjects to the next few hours of interminable hell of low quality food, lower quality drink, and entertainment so poor that to even use the word quality to describe it would make Chamberlains pronouncement of peace in our time seem accurate. We have laid on the least appealing and friendly people we could find to play the part of 'serving wenches', let me apologise in advance for the crap treatment you will receive. The wandering idiots we found wandering under the canal bridge earlier are putting the finishing touches of snot, gob and old scabs on the slop that will be flung at you in barely disguised contempt soon, and adding water to the drinks - best not to ask too much about that, as there are no working taps in the kitchen, I guess they brought the water in with them. As with all medieval banquets, a jester is expected; today, my subjects, I am happy to tell you that we are ALL being played for fools"
I didn't really enjoy it very much.
aclivity said:
If it's anything like the one I went to:
"Welcome subjects to the next few hours of interminable hell of low quality food, lower quality drink, and entertainment so poor that to even use the word quality to describe it would make Chamberlains pronouncement of peace in our time seem accurate. We have laid on the least appealing and friendly people we could find to play the part of 'serving wenches', let me apologise in advance for the crap treatment you will receive. The wandering idiots we found wandering under the canal bridge earlier are putting the finishing touches of snot, gob and old scabs on the slop that will be flung at you in barely disguised contempt soon, and adding water to the drinks - best not to ask too much about that, as there are no working taps in the kitchen, I guess they brought the water in with them. As with all medieval banquets, a jester is expected; today, my subjects, I am happy to tell you that we are ALL being played for fools"
I didn't really enjoy it very much.
I absolutely love that - and I think it will go down SO well!!! "Welcome subjects to the next few hours of interminable hell of low quality food, lower quality drink, and entertainment so poor that to even use the word quality to describe it would make Chamberlains pronouncement of peace in our time seem accurate. We have laid on the least appealing and friendly people we could find to play the part of 'serving wenches', let me apologise in advance for the crap treatment you will receive. The wandering idiots we found wandering under the canal bridge earlier are putting the finishing touches of snot, gob and old scabs on the slop that will be flung at you in barely disguised contempt soon, and adding water to the drinks - best not to ask too much about that, as there are no working taps in the kitchen, I guess they brought the water in with them. As with all medieval banquets, a jester is expected; today, my subjects, I am happy to tell you that we are ALL being played for fools"
I didn't really enjoy it very much.
AB said:
Weird topic, but at our tennis club we are having a Medieval Banquet. I don't know what it involves, I would hazard a guess at food and lots of beer. They have done banners, flags etc and have asked me to be the 'gaylord' on account of me being outspoken and (so they think) quite funny and I have a lovely lady as my erm... 'lady'.
They have asked me to think of some announcements to make... announcements... I haven't got a clue what they expect. I said I would do some research and obviously the best form of research is to appeal to many of thousands of people in the hope that one of you has either been to this sort of thing, or even better, been the lord.
Any ideas welcome!
EFA They have asked me to think of some announcements to make... announcements... I haven't got a clue what they expect. I said I would do some research and obviously the best form of research is to appeal to many of thousands of people in the hope that one of you has either been to this sort of thing, or even better, been the lord.
Any ideas welcome!
As for food I suggest you may well be eating a suckling pig.
Work had one for Christmas a few years back.
Splended fun!
It was at a local castle.
At the time we had a reasonably famous ex-soap actor working with us so he was brought along. Said chap was the centre of attention with the ladies - but manly ladies from other office do's that were at the same castle.
Ended in a wonderful fight with some salesmean from a double glazing company uhhappy at the actor's lady-based antics. Basically all their prospective shags ignored them. Ex soap star got laid - multiple times. One of my staff went missing. A girl dressed as a sort of Gwendoline character. She rang me hours later from inside a bus garage. She'd drunkenly got on the wrong bus, fallen asleep on the back seat and woke up long after the driver had parked it up miles from home in a locked bus depot.
A lot of explaining to do to the MD the next day.
Great fun - would do it again like a shot.
Splended fun!
It was at a local castle.
At the time we had a reasonably famous ex-soap actor working with us so he was brought along. Said chap was the centre of attention with the ladies - but manly ladies from other office do's that were at the same castle.
Ended in a wonderful fight with some salesmean from a double glazing company uhhappy at the actor's lady-based antics. Basically all their prospective shags ignored them. Ex soap star got laid - multiple times. One of my staff went missing. A girl dressed as a sort of Gwendoline character. She rang me hours later from inside a bus garage. She'd drunkenly got on the wrong bus, fallen asleep on the back seat and woke up long after the driver had parked it up miles from home in a locked bus depot.
A lot of explaining to do to the MD the next day.
Great fun - would do it again like a shot.
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