between wife to be and mother in law in the waiting...
between wife to be and mother in law in the waiting...
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cramorra

Original Poster:

1,689 posts

264 months

Saturday 19th September 2009
quotequote all
off to Greece to start planning our next year's wedding (and most deffo looking forward to it - so advice like buy another car or similar is not required - although make me an offer hehe...)
The problem lies in what wedding to have as my loved one and her mother (who I get on well with) have completely different ideas
Option one is a "big fat greek" wedding with everything - big hotel, big church, a zillion of guests, red carpet...
Option two is a much more intimate affair, possibly in a club by the sea, a country house or similar, less people, smaller church, more casual...
Now I don't know if it matters but the bride to be would prefer option two
Although I personally agree my viewes are nor very strong, for me most importantly the GF is happy but I would not want to upset the inlaws either
My stance so far was to say talk it through with your mum and do whatever makes YOU happy - however she wants me to become more active and help with sourcing a venue (I offered to guard the pool in the meanwhile...hehe)

What does the knowlegable Gentleman do????

OnTheOverrun

3,965 posts

206 months

Saturday 19th September 2009
quotequote all
Go for whichever is cheapest.

HTH

thetapeworm

13,804 posts

268 months

Saturday 19th September 2009
quotequote all

It's YOUR wedding, not your a day out for family and friends, they should be celebrating your big day in the way you want it to happen.

Put you and the wife to be first, your thoughts are what matters, if your 2nd cousin removed doesn't approve then they won't come, if the mother-in-law feels the same she'll sit there with the face on, either way you still get your day the way you want it.

Tell them what's happening, don't tailor your event to please the masses.

toohuge

3,473 posts

245 months

Saturday 19th September 2009
quotequote all
Personally i would want to make the bride happy, after all it's her wedding.

Congratulations by the way wink

mybrainhurts

90,809 posts

284 months

Saturday 19th September 2009
quotequote all
TVR Moneypit said:
OnTheOverrun said:
Go for whichever is cheapest.

HTH
This ^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^
....should say cheaper

mybrainhurts

90,809 posts

284 months

Saturday 19th September 2009
quotequote all
PS....Are you sure you want to go through with this?

becksW

14,698 posts

240 months

Saturday 19th September 2009
quotequote all
Your wedding your final say.

Get together for a dinner. Compliment future mother in law on suggestions make sure to accept a couple but at same time show in laws drawn up plans of you own. Make sure to support girlfriend but adv GF before the meal that she needs to support some of her Mums ideas

I made sure everyone had a little responsibility to ensure everyone felt involved. My mum was very helpful but was at no time pushy. My mum in law didn't was actually more reserved than I thought she would be but I asked her to go shopping with me for bridesmaids presents, I made sure we had time for lunch etc as well.

Anyway sounds like it will be fine in the end just needs a bit of diplomacy smile

cramorra

Original Poster:

1,689 posts

264 months

Saturday 19th September 2009
quotequote all
mybrainhurts said:
TVR Moneypit said:
OnTheOverrun said:
Go for whichever is cheapest.

HTH
This ^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^
....should say cheaper
...not a big difference as inlaws will most probaly shell out most of it(Tradition)...but this creates even more trouble

cramorra

Original Poster:

1,689 posts

264 months

Sunday 20th September 2009
quotequote all
toohuge said:
Personally i would want to make the bride happy, after all it's her wedding.

Congratulations by the way wink
Thanks---

cazzer

8,883 posts

277 months

Sunday 20th September 2009
quotequote all
I never understand the whole gettin married abroad thing.
Unless yer going to pay for all your guests then surely you're saying if you want to come to our wedding you have to shell out hundreds of pounds on flights.

Enough money is wasted on weddings without wasting loads of your guests money as well.

(This is assuming your wife isn't greek, if she is, as you were smile )

cramorra

Original Poster:

1,689 posts

264 months

Sunday 20th September 2009
quotequote all
cazzer said:
I never understand the whole gettin married abroad thing.
Unless yer going to pay for all your guests then surely you're saying if you want to come to our wedding you have to shell out hundreds of pounds on flights.

Enough money is wasted on weddings without wasting loads of your guests money as well.

(This is assuming your wife isn't greek, if she is, as you were smile )
she is indeed an Athenian Girl.... very lucky

as we are both living and working in the UK (with lots of friends here, but of German and Greek background) it is somehow everywere abroad....

Edited by cramorra on Sunday 20th September 00:10

cazzer

8,883 posts

277 months

Sunday 20th September 2009
quotequote all
cramorra said:
cazzer said:
I never understand the whole gettin married abroad thing.
Unless yer going to pay for all your guests then surely you're saying if you want to come to our wedding you have to shell out hundreds of pounds on flights.

Enough money is wasted on weddings without wasting loads of your guests money as well.

(This is assuming your wife isn't greek, if she is, as you were smile )
she is indeed an Athenian Girl.... very lucky

as we are both living and working in the UK (with lots of friends here, but of German and Greek background) it is somehow everywere abroad....

Edited by cramorra on Sunday 20th September 00:10
As I said then smile As you were.

Fittster

20,120 posts

242 months

Sunday 20th September 2009
quotequote all
thetapeworm said:
It's YOUR wedding.
It's the bride's wedding and it's her mother. Sit back and don't get caught in the crossfire.

dudleybloke

20,553 posts

215 months

Sunday 20th September 2009
quotequote all
if her dads paying for it then go the whole hog!

may i suggest a supercar as grooms car!


drivin_me_nuts

17,949 posts

240 months

Sunday 20th September 2009
quotequote all
sleep with the MiL to be. The ensuing emotional guilt will knobble her into being docilie all the days of her life and you will be free to;

a) visit the MIL via the Corinth canal at will,
b) have the wedding that you want,


As they say in Greece - it'a plan so cunning you could pin a tail to it and call it Caesar.

SkinnyBoy

4,635 posts

287 months

Sunday 20th September 2009
quotequote all
I sympathise mate, I'm with a greek and they turn everything into a drama. Just sit back let them sort it out and just be at the altar when you should be.

sday12

5,067 posts

240 months

Sunday 20th September 2009
quotequote all
SkinnyBoy said:
I sympathise mate, I'm with a greek and they turn everything into a drama. Just sit back let them sort it out and just be at the altar when you should be.
What he said.
It has nithing to do with you, just turn up and look happy.

It's noy YOUR day, it's HERS.

GKP

15,099 posts

270 months

Sunday 20th September 2009
quotequote all
sday12 said:
SkinnyBoy said:
I sympathise mate, I'm with a greek and they turn everything into a drama. Just sit back let them sort it out and just be at the altar when you should be.
What he said.
It has nithing to do with you, just turn up and look happy.

It's noy YOUR day, it's HERS.
You'd be better off not actually turning up, you'll only get in the way.

Don

28,378 posts

313 months

Sunday 20th September 2009
quotequote all
sday12 said:
SkinnyBoy said:
I sympathise mate, I'm with a greek and they turn everything into a drama. Just sit back let them sort it out and just be at the altar when you should be.
What he said.
It has nithing to do with you, just turn up and look happy.

It's noy YOUR day, it's HERS.
Nope. It's not even HER day.

It is the day of whomsoever is stumping up the money. If that's her Dad then it's HIS day, really, and whilst she will be given lots of options don't forget it.

On the other hand if it's you and the soon-to-be-mrs that's paying do what the hell you like.


We were paying. So my wife got to decide exactly what she wanted. I had "input" - which was fine by me...

SkinnyBoy

4,635 posts

287 months

Sunday 20th September 2009
quotequote all
If you are in her dads good books, then anything you do will always be in a good light regardless. If you get the MIL on side then marrying a greek is probably the best move ever. Sure it will be like an episode of the greek drama Kalimera Zoi everyday but thats what makes it fun. If the old fella is a bit cashed up, let MIL, wife to be organise the wedding, whilst you and the FIL hang out at the cafenio sipping ouzaki and playing tavli whilst ogling the koukla's. Just turn up, you are only going to remember the day when the video and photos come back so enjoy the stress free life.