Didnt happen in my day - a rant about cruising on commons...
Discussion
The mid-nineties - charging around the countryside across fields and hillsides, but more especially heathland and commons in and around Bournemouth and Ringwood, on our mountain bikes.
And I did alot of miles. I was mountain bike racing so 100miles a week of what we loosely termed "training" was common in the summer months. Worst I ever encountered was the odd poorly hidden stash of jazz-mags.
17 yrs or so on and Ive bought another bike and taken it up again. Only theres a new threat to a shared recreation space to that Ive only recently been unfortunate enough to be exposed to (no pun intended).
Clue: The small, non-descript cars littering the carparks. Not big enough for a family and dont contain a dog.
king mountain bike through your bedrooms? Im fine with people getting jiggy with whoever they want, but in broad daylight, in the middle of a main track where elderly are walking dogs and families are cycling?! Even if youre not caught, how do you justify emerging from the common wearing brogues, suit trousers and a business shirt?
Have some fking dignity. In fact, if youre beyond self respect, try plain old consideration for others. No other fker wants to witness your Common land contract felatio.
fk knows what flicked up off my front tyre as I rode by that bit.
And I did alot of miles. I was mountain bike racing so 100miles a week of what we loosely termed "training" was common in the summer months. Worst I ever encountered was the odd poorly hidden stash of jazz-mags.
17 yrs or so on and Ive bought another bike and taken it up again. Only theres a new threat to a shared recreation space to that Ive only recently been unfortunate enough to be exposed to (no pun intended).
Clue: The small, non-descript cars littering the carparks. Not big enough for a family and dont contain a dog.
- Rapidly descending a main track downhillback to the road on Tuesday night and came round a corner to find two well dressed (office attire) blokes in their early 30s, facing each other and hurrying to pack their tackle away before scurrying off pretending to talk on their mobile phones.
- Unpacking the bikes from the van a few months ago in Puddletown Forest to see lone, skivvy-wearing middle ages chaps driving Peroduas, parking at each car park along the forest edge, investigating the first 50m of forest in each direction and then geting back in the car to go to the next one. We knew why they were there. Their demeanour indicates they knew we knew. How are they so blatant?
king mountain bike through your bedrooms? Im fine with people getting jiggy with whoever they want, but in broad daylight, in the middle of a main track where elderly are walking dogs and families are cycling?! Even if youre not caught, how do you justify emerging from the common wearing brogues, suit trousers and a business shirt?Have some f
king dignity. In fact, if youre beyond self respect, try plain old consideration for others. No other fker wants to witness your Common land contract felatio.f
k knows what flicked up off my front tyre as I rode by that bit. 
escargot said:
Once, when I were a lad riding round the new forest, we came into a clearing and saw a bloke lay down reading a magazine... in the buff. As so often happens with kids, the story ultimately developed into him running after us whilst stroking one off.
He stroked one of you off?I hope you complained. To the police.
When on a car club rally/treasure hunt on a Sunday afternoon 3 of us screeched into a forest car park to grab a clue and there was a car that had tried to drive out of the back of the car park through the pedestrian width gap in the mound/ditch that was intended to stop people driving through.
It would have been satisfying for the forest ranger, or whoever built it, to know how well it worked! Once one front wheel was hanging over the ditch and the sill was resting on the mound, they weren't going anywhere.
Middle aged man with younger woman looking a bit embarrased!
The 6 of us jumped out of our cars, lifted the front of his yelling at him to give it some in reverse, got him out of it, dashed to read the sign with the answer to the clue on it, leaped back in the cars and zoomed off.
The young lady stayed in the car throughout, trying to ignore us, he did at least give us a nod as we left, but didn't get out or open the window!
It gave us a good story to tell when we reached the pub for prize giving!
It would have been satisfying for the forest ranger, or whoever built it, to know how well it worked! Once one front wheel was hanging over the ditch and the sill was resting on the mound, they weren't going anywhere.
Middle aged man with younger woman looking a bit embarrased!
The 6 of us jumped out of our cars, lifted the front of his yelling at him to give it some in reverse, got him out of it, dashed to read the sign with the answer to the clue on it, leaped back in the cars and zoomed off.
The young lady stayed in the car throughout, trying to ignore us, he did at least give us a nod as we left, but didn't get out or open the window!
It gave us a good story to tell when we reached the pub for prize giving!
El Guapo said:
lawrence567 said:
You mean cottaging.
Or its modern day term:
Dogging?
The two activities are different, assuming that I have been correctly informed. Or its modern day term:
Dogging?
Lawrence only has one hand to type with, so is unable to flick through his 'street slang dictionary' right now.
Justayellowbadge said:
V8S said:
Sandgroper,
Where do you live in Dorset? Roughly.
When he says roughly, he means gps co-ordinates.Where do you live in Dorset? Roughly.
The roughly he'll be getting once he has them.
I had planned a gala masturbation session with some mates, hoping SG might ride by and offer the exquisite pain of a spoke jamming at speed.
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