Moral Dilemma - partner's family history of disease

[308mate]

Hypothetically:

Youre young, you meet a girl who is gorgeous, great personality and youre in luuuurve.

But she has a long family history of cancer, with many female family members dying due to breast cancer.

Of course you think about the future and what it holds and wants the best for children you may have. So its not long before it dawns that at some stage:

a) youre life may well be ravaged by the destruction of the disease

b) the lives of any daughters you have, may also be

When you think about the impact it has on everyone's lives, do you make your excuses, leave and hope for someone less genetically prone to sickness? Or suck it up and crack on, in the knowledge that day by day, you grow ever more attached and entwined to a ticking time-bomb?

Do/should people consider the family medical history of prospective spouses?

[off_again]

We will all die. If you start to work out IF this or MAYBE that you will never get anywhere. Enjoy it for what it is - unpredictable, full of change and risky. Don't start putting a value or price on it - its priceless and so are any children that you may or may not have.

[dmitsi]

No, not if you love them. You could be a great support for them if it does go bad. If you can enjoy the time together now, then you should. You could have a child and get yourself run over the next day leaving her to deal with the harsh times. I'd rather bring myself and hopefully someone else happiness, than pass up an opportunity on something that hasn't happened.

[Justayellowbadge]

Did those that have died in the past have access to current screening technology and treatments?

A family history could just mean that she and daughters need to be monitored a little more closely.

Edited by Justayellowbadge on Tuesday 29th September 16:16

[hugo a gogo]

how big are these breasts?

[eldar]

Depends how negative you want to be. Do you see the glass as half full or empty.

My mum, her sister and her mum all had breast cancer and survived that. My Mrs has similar history.

My daughter knows the importance of checking for it.

You can't live in fear of it.

[Shabs]

nobody gets out of life alive, just enjoy yourself with the people that you luuuurve

[Justayellowbadge]

IL_JDM said:

If Hitler had his way however, I imagine any form of genetic disease would have been phased out.

Godwin in 4. Impressive, even here.

That's Naziwang.

[captainzep]

An interesting argument ruined by your choice of cancer.

Current NHS breast screening services focus on those with a strong familial link and use digital mamography for best possible picture and early detection which yields better and better prognosis.

-Providing women turn up to the appointment of course.


ETA -Dammit -too slow to look novel and authoritative.

Edited by captainzep on Tuesday 29th September 16:25

[308mate]

captainzep said:

An interesting argument ruined by your choice of cancer.

Current NHS breast screening services focus on those with a strong familial link and use digital mamography for best possible picture and early detection which yields better and better prognosis.

-Providing women turn up to the appointment of course.

True.

Would it be more pertinent were the history of say...bowel cancer?

[captainzep]

308mate said:

captainzep said:

An interesting argument ruined by your choice of cancer.

Current NHS breast screening services focus on those with a strong familial link and use digital mamography for best possible picture and early detection which yields better and better prognosis.

-Providing women turn up to the appointment of course.

True.

Would it be more pertinent were the history of say...bowel cancer?

To a degree yes, although the NHS is rolling out bowel screening nationally too now. Although Hospital Gastro-Consultants will still be failing the new endoscopy 'driving tests' imposed by the programme for a good few years yet. (Little bit of NHS commissioner bhing there).

[thunderbelmont]

A serious moral dilemma.

One that has f**ked up human evolution ever since we learned to think!

Natural Selection is now clouded by cosmetics and currency!

The Human Race is hell bent on self destruction, all following the road to Beachy Head (metaphorically speaking).

There is no right or wrong answer. If you follow your heart, you'll probably be wrong. If you follow your head, you'll probably be wrong do. Damned if you do, damned if you don't.
No win.

[drivin_me_nuts]

Thought provoking question.

If it worries you then don't do it - or resolve the worry and the anxiety surrounding the fear of breast cancer and then marry her.Suggest that she does the same and step away from the mental mindfk of cancer anxiety... because cancer anxiety is the greatest killer of all.


Marry someone because you love them, because you want to be with them and because it is right for the both of you. Then go about making every day the best day of your lives, because one day it will be the last, for either or both of you and cancer or no cancer, the grief and loss will be just as profound.

Enjoy the read...

http://envirocancer.cornell.edu/FactSheet/General/...

[dreamer75]

My sister and I have gone through a similar dilemma in the past, and we both came to the conclusion that some people never experience love, and some people are hurt bitterly by those they love, so if you have an opportunity for a happy relationship with someone you love then you should take it.

Children though, not sure, haven't considered that!

[Mattt]

I'm not too sure of the genetic story about how it's caused, but say if your potential partner was likely to have a child with Downs Syndrome or similar - what then?