Who has problems with their family?
Discussion
For years my relationship with my family has been getting worse, and now it’s at the point where I despise them and I never want to see them again.
I guess I should say that it stemmed from being treated like the runt of the litter (I have two siblings), always being told I’m not good enough, or I’ll never be able to do something. Unfortunately for them, as I’ve grew up I’ve got smarter and smarter, and now I know its them who’ll never be apply to accomplish anything and that all a long they’ve been trying to drag me down to their level.
It winds me up, thinking about some of the s
t they have pulled over the years, always trying to belittle me, fk knows why. Even when they’re not slagging me off, they’ll be slagging someone else off. They are a nasty bunch of bds and none of them have any mates.
I have gone through phases where I have avoided seeing them or speaking with them for several weeks, but for one reason or another I’ve got back in touch. Now though I haven’t spoken with them in 2 months and although I’m happy, I’ve got this thing in the back of my head telling me that they are family and I should forgive them – but then they will do something to annoy me and we’ll be back to square one.
Now I’m at the point where I just want to move country to get as far away from them as possible and have a fresh start at life, I don’t need them for anything and never have done.
So what I’m essentially asking for, is peoples opinions and experiences with their own family. Has anyone split up with their family and got on with their own life? I will appreciate any sensible comments.
I guess I should say that it stemmed from being treated like the runt of the litter (I have two siblings), always being told I’m not good enough, or I’ll never be able to do something. Unfortunately for them, as I’ve grew up I’ve got smarter and smarter, and now I know its them who’ll never be apply to accomplish anything and that all a long they’ve been trying to drag me down to their level.
It winds me up, thinking about some of the s
t they have pulled over the years, always trying to belittle me, fk knows why. Even when they’re not slagging me off, they’ll be slagging someone else off. They are a nasty bunch of bds and none of them have any mates.I have gone through phases where I have avoided seeing them or speaking with them for several weeks, but for one reason or another I’ve got back in touch. Now though I haven’t spoken with them in 2 months and although I’m happy, I’ve got this thing in the back of my head telling me that they are family and I should forgive them – but then they will do something to annoy me and we’ll be back to square one.
Now I’m at the point where I just want to move country to get as far away from them as possible and have a fresh start at life, I don’t need them for anything and never have done.
So what I’m essentially asking for, is peoples opinions and experiences with their own family. Has anyone split up with their family and got on with their own life? I will appreciate any sensible comments.
What does'nt kill you makes you stronger.
A good mate of mine has a similar family who treated him like st and put him down all the time yet he has a sucessful business, nice big house decent cars and a lovely wife who loves him.
His family are still crap and now ask him for help with money.
Know that you are going to be better, push yourself and strive to prove them wrong and you will be the winner.
A good mate of mine has a similar family who treated him like s
t and put him down all the time yet he has a sucessful business, nice big house decent cars and a lovely wife who loves him. His family are still crap and now ask him for help with money.
Know that you are going to be better, push yourself and strive to prove them wrong and you will be the winner.
Quite a few people I know have done just that..
The experiences vary. For several who come from families where identity and culture are very strong, it was tough, because to leave meant in effect being cut off and never being able to see them or even be acknowledged by them.
One chap I know is blisfully happy - never sees any of them at all. He says the process was quite literally a 'switch' going off. He described it as just changing his way of thinking - as he just framed the whole notion of family as being dead. He said it gave him a greater sense of independance and freedom. Perhaps a bit extreme to the casual observer, but it works for him.
Another experience is less good. Where one of my friends constantly toos and fros between them. Family are her addiction and it causes her great turmooil and anxiety almost every day. They cause so much conflict and yet she cannot leave becuase she suffers the most appalling guilt.
The experiences vary. For several who come from families where identity and culture are very strong, it was tough, because to leave meant in effect being cut off and never being able to see them or even be acknowledged by them.
One chap I know is blisfully happy - never sees any of them at all. He says the process was quite literally a 'switch' going off. He described it as just changing his way of thinking - as he just framed the whole notion of family as being dead. He said it gave him a greater sense of independance and freedom. Perhaps a bit extreme to the casual observer, but it works for him.
Another experience is less good. Where one of my friends constantly toos and fros between them. Family are her addiction and it causes her great turmooil and anxiety almost every day. They cause so much conflict and yet she cannot leave becuase she suffers the most appalling guilt.
drivin_me_nuts said:
Quite a few people I know have done just that..
The experiences vary. For several who come from families where identity and culture are very strong, it was tough, because to leave meant in effect being cut off and never being able to see them or even be acknowledged by them.
One chap I know is blisfully happy - never sees any of them at all. He says the process was quite literally a 'switch' going off. He described it as just changing his way of thinking - as he just framed the whole notion of family as being dead. He said it gave him a greater sense of independance and freedom. Perhaps a bit extreme to the casual observer, but it works for him.
Another experience is less good. Where one of my friends constantly toos and fros between them. Family are her addiction and it causes her great turmooil and anxiety almost every day. They cause so much conflict and yet she cannot leave becuase she suffers the most appalling guilt.
I like to think of myself as a very independent young man who is very capable of living on his own and fending for himself, its this pride that makes me even more angry when as a grown man, I'm told I cannot do something by a family of blood sucking vampires. I was 22 this year, and I earn more money than both my sisters who are 25 and 30. So if I'm so stupid, what must they be!! The experiences vary. For several who come from families where identity and culture are very strong, it was tough, because to leave meant in effect being cut off and never being able to see them or even be acknowledged by them.
One chap I know is blisfully happy - never sees any of them at all. He says the process was quite literally a 'switch' going off. He described it as just changing his way of thinking - as he just framed the whole notion of family as being dead. He said it gave him a greater sense of independance and freedom. Perhaps a bit extreme to the casual observer, but it works for him.
Another experience is less good. Where one of my friends constantly toos and fros between them. Family are her addiction and it causes her great turmooil and anxiety almost every day. They cause so much conflict and yet she cannot leave becuase she suffers the most appalling guilt.
Funk said:
Would you choose to associate with them if they weren't family..? No? Bin 'em, your life will be a better place for it. Trust me, I haven't spoken to my father in about 8 years as he's a complete .
An how did it make you feel afterwards? Do you still wish you had a dad?.Edited by Funk on Sunday 1st November 14:36
MattVXR87 said:
drivin_me_nuts said:
Quite a few people I know have done just that..
The experiences vary. For several who come from families where identity and culture are very strong, it was tough, because to leave meant in effect being cut off and never being able to see them or even be acknowledged by them.
One chap I know is blisfully happy - never sees any of them at all. He says the process was quite literally a 'switch' going off. He described it as just changing his way of thinking - as he just framed the whole notion of family as being dead. He said it gave him a greater sense of independance and freedom. Perhaps a bit extreme to the casual observer, but it works for him.
Another experience is less good. Where one of my friends constantly toos and fros between them. Family are her addiction and it causes her great turmooil and anxiety almost every day. They cause so much conflict and yet she cannot leave becuase she suffers the most appalling guilt.
I like to think of myself as a very independent young man who is very capable of living on his own and fending for himself, its this pride that makes me even more angry when as a grown man, I'm told I cannot do something by a family of blood sucking vampires. I was 22 this year, and I earn more money than both my sisters who are 25 and 30. So if I'm so stupid, what must they be!! The experiences vary. For several who come from families where identity and culture are very strong, it was tough, because to leave meant in effect being cut off and never being able to see them or even be acknowledged by them.
One chap I know is blisfully happy - never sees any of them at all. He says the process was quite literally a 'switch' going off. He described it as just changing his way of thinking - as he just framed the whole notion of family as being dead. He said it gave him a greater sense of independance and freedom. Perhaps a bit extreme to the casual observer, but it works for him.
Another experience is less good. Where one of my friends constantly toos and fros between them. Family are her addiction and it causes her great turmooil and anxiety almost every day. They cause so much conflict and yet she cannot leave becuase she suffers the most appalling guilt.
The answer to this is not in your family, it is in you. Work on the premise that they will never change.. what do you have to do to change the way you react and perhaps more importantly the fact that it seems to make you so angry - what do you have to do to stop being angry? Deal with these things and it change the way you behave towards your family and in time they might even change the way they behave towards you.
You can never force a change in someone else, you can only ever change yourself.
MattVXR87 said:
Funk said:
Would you choose to associate with them if they weren't family..? No? Bin 'em, your life will be a better place for it. Trust me, I haven't spoken to my father in about 8 years as he's a complete .
An how did it make you feel afterwards? Do you still wish you had a dad?.Oh, one more thing - you'll have people saying stuff like, "Oh..but he's your dad.." like that's some kind of reason to tolerate the waste of oxygen. Ignore them, it's nothing to do with them.
Edited by Funk on Sunday 1st November 14:42
The people most likely to tell you to persist with relatives 'because they are family' will be the blood sucking vampires themselves. Work your way past all the guilt you've been loaded with and have a really good think about what you would lose or miss by never seeing them again. It might well be sweet F.A.
not spoken to my mother or sister in over 8 years, and can say hand on heart, not once have i regretted it or thought about what if etc.
im a happier person without them, and feel its made me a better person.
if they both died NOW, i would give it no more thought than i would a dead animal at the road side
im a happier person without them, and feel its made me a better person.
if they both died NOW, i would give it no more thought than i would a dead animal at the road side
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