GUTTED just lost a very long and dear friend
Discussion
Not the nicest phone call ive had first thing in the morning I had my girlfriend in tears on the phone asking me to go on my facebook to read the message left by mate.
This was the last message my mate left on his face book
its time to say goodbye. Thankyou everyone for your support love you always. ***** ****** i love you more than words can say. I'm sorry i hurt you. Goodbye everyone. XXX
My mate of over 30 years took his own life in the early hours of the morning.
For the last 4 days weve all been trying to reach out to him offering support and help but I guess we coundnt reach him in the end.
At first I didnt want to believe it but his daughter had posted that he had died in the early hours of Monday morning.
Ive just checked his face book wall and the amount of messages left by people just shows how much he was liked and what a top bloke he was.
I still cant believe hes gone and the shock is still yet to sink in and I doubt that it will for a few days, ive since found out how he died and it was not the nicest ways to go.
I know how low he must of got to do this as many of you will remember me posting a similar type of message a few months and the response I got was tremendous and it certainly turned me around and pointed me back in the right direction.
I just wish there was more I could of done for him not sure when the funeral is but im not looking forward to it as there will be loads of us going.
Lucky I have the support of my girlfriend and she has the support of me.
Both me and girlfriend are gutted that hes gone and our thoughts are with his family at a sad time.
RIP Kelv gone but certainly not forgotten take care my friend have a drink on me in the big sky xx
toggs
This was the last message my mate left on his face book
its time to say goodbye. Thankyou everyone for your support love you always. ***** ****** i love you more than words can say. I'm sorry i hurt you. Goodbye everyone. XXX
My mate of over 30 years took his own life in the early hours of the morning.
For the last 4 days weve all been trying to reach out to him offering support and help but I guess we coundnt reach him in the end.
At first I didnt want to believe it but his daughter had posted that he had died in the early hours of Monday morning.
Ive just checked his face book wall and the amount of messages left by people just shows how much he was liked and what a top bloke he was.
I still cant believe hes gone and the shock is still yet to sink in and I doubt that it will for a few days, ive since found out how he died and it was not the nicest ways to go.
I know how low he must of got to do this as many of you will remember me posting a similar type of message a few months and the response I got was tremendous and it certainly turned me around and pointed me back in the right direction.
I just wish there was more I could of done for him not sure when the funeral is but im not looking forward to it as there will be loads of us going.
Lucky I have the support of my girlfriend and she has the support of me.
Both me and girlfriend are gutted that hes gone and our thoughts are with his family at a sad time.
RIP Kelv gone but certainly not forgotten take care my friend have a drink on me in the big sky xx
toggs
It is so sad when this happens, esp when you realise how many friends they had and either did not realise or just did not want to know.
This happened when someone I knew took his life, the amount of messages on his facebook page were overwhelming, if only he'd talked more, though I know he'd already tried once before and I also know people had tried to convince him it wasn't the way, he obviously thought it was in the end.
I'm so sorry for your loss, always such a waste when this happens.
This happened when someone I knew took his life, the amount of messages on his facebook page were overwhelming, if only he'd talked more, though I know he'd already tried once before and I also know people had tried to convince him it wasn't the way, he obviously thought it was in the end.
I'm so sorry for your loss, always such a waste when this happens.
This is really sad Toggs deepest sympathy.
Time to look around at your little one, girlfriend and mates, and really take on board what kind of effect this can have on friends and family. Remember that people do care if you reach out to them, as you've found out.
Try to remember the good times with your mate, the pain will ease over time.
Best wishes.
Time to look around at your little one, girlfriend and mates, and really take on board what kind of effect this can have on friends and family. Remember that people do care if you reach out to them, as you've found out.
Try to remember the good times with your mate, the pain will ease over time.
Best wishes.
tonyvid said:
That's very sad Toggs. An important thing to remember is that somepeople will be determined to end their lives, no matter what others try to do to stop it - don't beat yourselves up about it as it was what he ultimatly wanted for himself 
Im ok more shocked than anything else.The only good thing to come out of this is alot of us have exchanged phone numbers and are planing several meets
Im meeting up today with a friend ive not seen in over 20 years so should have plenty to talk about.
Just been informed that he was going to be a grand dad aswell such a waste to lose such a great bloke
Hi Toggs,
Your message has struck a huge nerve with me: One of my friends committed suicide three years ago. He had been in a psychiatric unit for 3 months and had been sent home for the weekend. The guilt I felt at the time was massive - I knew he was ill and I should have done more.
Now my best friend of 36 years has been going through a bad time this year after her boyfriend of 10 years walked out of the house one day and shacked up with a woman who lives in the house behind her. My friend has spiralled into severe depression and I've spent much of this year taking her to the doctors for antidepressants, psychiatrist appointments to try and help her and A&E when she has taken overdoses (three times). It has been truly awful watching this gorgeous woman turn into a shadow of her former self. Other people have told me not to get involved, but how can you do that when you know what the choices are, and how could I live with the guilt of another friend taking their own life when I should have done something?
I have now realised that unless someone who wants to die decides they no longer want to die, there is nothing you can do to help them. You can neglect your own family and friends while you take them to the doctors, psychiatrists, psychologists, counsellors, hospitals, sit with them and tell them how much you and others love them, cry with them, hide any instruments that they can use to commit suicide, spend weeks with hardly any sleep, while you lay awake making sure they don't get the tablets and do it anyway ... but ultimately, there is nothing you can do to make them feel differently about themselves.
I am so sorry for your loss, but don't feel guilty as you may have done everything you possibly can, and the outcome may have been the same.
Your message has struck a huge nerve with me: One of my friends committed suicide three years ago. He had been in a psychiatric unit for 3 months and had been sent home for the weekend. The guilt I felt at the time was massive - I knew he was ill and I should have done more.
Now my best friend of 36 years has been going through a bad time this year after her boyfriend of 10 years walked out of the house one day and shacked up with a woman who lives in the house behind her. My friend has spiralled into severe depression and I've spent much of this year taking her to the doctors for antidepressants, psychiatrist appointments to try and help her and A&E when she has taken overdoses (three times). It has been truly awful watching this gorgeous woman turn into a shadow of her former self. Other people have told me not to get involved, but how can you do that when you know what the choices are, and how could I live with the guilt of another friend taking their own life when I should have done something?
I have now realised that unless someone who wants to die decides they no longer want to die, there is nothing you can do to help them. You can neglect your own family and friends while you take them to the doctors, psychiatrists, psychologists, counsellors, hospitals, sit with them and tell them how much you and others love them, cry with them, hide any instruments that they can use to commit suicide, spend weeks with hardly any sleep, while you lay awake making sure they don't get the tablets and do it anyway ... but ultimately, there is nothing you can do to make them feel differently about themselves.
I am so sorry for your loss, but don't feel guilty as you may have done everything you possibly can, and the outcome may have been the same.
My cousins husband took his own life a couple of years ago, leaving my cousin, and there two kids.
If you had put 1000 people in a room, and asked which was the least likely to kill themselves, you would point straight at him.
He had a happy marriage, no financial problems, no major health issues.
It transpired that the medication which was being used affected him hugely, and he hung himself from the nursury door one evening. It was only a pain killer for a recent knee op.
Im sorry to hear of your loss mate, i truly am. For all its worth, i think its sometimes worse than hearing its from a car crash or something like- by which i mean something accidental with an obvious oputcome due to injury, rather than self inflicted.
My cousin told me shortly afterwards that it isnt much different from a car- if there is something wrong with the engine, it doesnt work.
She reasoned that if there is something wrong with the way the brain works, it leads to behaviour that you wouldnt expect- sometimes with the most dire of consequenses.
I would try to remember your friend for what he was, not what he did in the end- a great deal of people told us that 'its the cowards way out'.
This is simply not the case, as outlined above.
Be strong for those left behind- they will need you more than ever now.
PM me if there is anything i can do, even if its sitting on the end of a phone for a chat.
Deepest sympathy for you, and my best wishes
Stu
If you had put 1000 people in a room, and asked which was the least likely to kill themselves, you would point straight at him.
He had a happy marriage, no financial problems, no major health issues.
It transpired that the medication which was being used affected him hugely, and he hung himself from the nursury door one evening. It was only a pain killer for a recent knee op.
Im sorry to hear of your loss mate, i truly am. For all its worth, i think its sometimes worse than hearing its from a car crash or something like- by which i mean something accidental with an obvious oputcome due to injury, rather than self inflicted.
My cousin told me shortly afterwards that it isnt much different from a car- if there is something wrong with the engine, it doesnt work.
She reasoned that if there is something wrong with the way the brain works, it leads to behaviour that you wouldnt expect- sometimes with the most dire of consequenses.
I would try to remember your friend for what he was, not what he did in the end- a great deal of people told us that 'its the cowards way out'.
This is simply not the case, as outlined above.
Be strong for those left behind- they will need you more than ever now.
PM me if there is anything i can do, even if its sitting on the end of a phone for a chat.
Deepest sympathy for you, and my best wishes
Stu
Sorry to hear it mate - my next door neighbour did it a few weeks ago, jumped off the top of the Shudehill Interchange car park in Manchester - right into rush hour commuters.
It takes someone in a very dark place to do something like that, hopefully he is at peace at last.
All the best.
It takes someone in a very dark place to do something like that, hopefully he is at peace at last.
All the best.
The've set a memorial page on facebook which is open to the public to post comments.
Some of the comments are really moving please see link below
http://www.facebook.com/group.php?gid=169912163946...
Some of the comments are really moving please see link below
http://www.facebook.com/group.php?gid=169912163946...
Penny-lope said:
Not a nice way to find out 
Using FB/Bebo to leave good bye messages sadly seems to be getting more and more common.
Frankly, it doesn't make a damn bit of difference. If someone is in such a state of mind whereby they are going to take their own life, I'm not sure they will be consulting Debrett's etiquette guide searching for the most appropriate method of promulgating the news. Using FB/Bebo to leave good bye messages sadly seems to be getting more and more common.
Sorry for your news, Sir. Be there for his family.
Tragic news my friend of 20 years marriage had failed and he tried a few times to end it but with support hes getting there thats what friends are for and you can only do your best. He helped bring me back a few years back too in the end you learn the most valuble thing you can have are good friends.
my friend of 20 years marriage had failed and he tried a few times to end it but with support hes getting there thats what friends are for and you can only do your best. He helped bring me back a few years back too in the end you learn the most valuble thing you can have are good friends. toggs said:
Not the nicest phone call ive had first thing in the morning I had my girlfriend in tears on the phone asking me to go on my facebook to read the message left by mate.
This was the last message my mate left on his face book
its time to say goodbye. Thankyou everyone for your support love you always. ***** ****** i love you more than words can say. I'm sorry i hurt you. Goodbye everyone. XXX
My mate of over 30 years took his own life in the early hours of the morning.
For the last 4 days weve all been trying to reach out to him offering support and help but I guess we coundnt reach him in the end.
At first I didnt want to believe it but his daughter had posted that he had died in the early hours of Monday morning.
Ive just checked his face book wall and the amount of messages left by people just shows how much he was liked and what a top bloke he was.
I still cant believe hes gone and the shock is still yet to sink in and I doubt that it will for a few days, ive since found out how he died and it was not the nicest ways to go.
I know how low he must of got to do this as many of you will remember me posting a similar type of message a few months and the response I got was tremendous and it certainly turned me around and pointed me back in the right direction.
I just wish there was more I could of done for him not sure when the funeral is but im not looking forward to it as there will be loads of us going.
Lucky I have the support of my girlfriend and she has the support of me.
Both me and girlfriend are gutted that hes gone and our thoughts are with his family at a sad time.
RIP Kelv gone but certainly not forgotten take care my friend have a drink on me in the big sky xx
toggs
sorry to ask but was he some kind of fThis was the last message my mate left on his face book
its time to say goodbye. Thankyou everyone for your support love you always. ***** ****** i love you more than words can say. I'm sorry i hurt you. Goodbye everyone. XXX
My mate of over 30 years took his own life in the early hours of the morning.
For the last 4 days weve all been trying to reach out to him offering support and help but I guess we coundnt reach him in the end.
At first I didnt want to believe it but his daughter had posted that he had died in the early hours of Monday morning.
Ive just checked his face book wall and the amount of messages left by people just shows how much he was liked and what a top bloke he was.
I still cant believe hes gone and the shock is still yet to sink in and I doubt that it will for a few days, ive since found out how he died and it was not the nicest ways to go.
I know how low he must of got to do this as many of you will remember me posting a similar type of message a few months and the response I got was tremendous and it certainly turned me around and pointed me back in the right direction.
I just wish there was more I could of done for him not sure when the funeral is but im not looking forward to it as there will be loads of us going.
Lucky I have the support of my girlfriend and she has the support of me.
Both me and girlfriend are gutted that hes gone and our thoughts are with his family at a sad time.
RIP Kelv gone but certainly not forgotten take care my friend have a drink on me in the big sky xx
toggs
king drama queen? Tell the world by facebook, had he not heard of "Say it with flowers"Understand you are upset but saying it to the world via facebook is not the way to go about things.
Gassing Station | The Lounge | Top of Page | What's New | My Stuff