presents that have gone down like a lead balloon
Discussion
For Mrs A's birthday i thought I would get her someting a bit unusual, something that she would not buy herself, something that would be fun. I racked my brains for weeks until finally inspiration arrived.
Full top of the range roller-blading kit including the skates, helmet, knee pads and elbow pads!! Together it came in an impressive number of large boxes, which I carefully wrapped and ribboned.
Birthday morning and the initial excitement created by the the unusually large number of big boxes gradually gave way to stony silence.
It dawned on my that I had made a mistake, a big one.
I wanted a Cartier bracelet, she said. Thank you anyway.
Anybody want a roller-blading kit, unused, that apparently 'makes you look like f
king robocop?'
Full top of the range roller-blading kit including the skates, helmet, knee pads and elbow pads!! Together it came in an impressive number of large boxes, which I carefully wrapped and ribboned.
Birthday morning and the initial excitement created by the the unusually large number of big boxes gradually gave way to stony silence.
It dawned on my that I had made a mistake, a big one.
I wanted a Cartier bracelet, she said. Thank you anyway.
Anybody want a roller-blading kit, unused, that apparently 'makes you look like f
king robocop?'
Ayahuasca said:
For Mrs A's birthday i thought I would get her someting a bit unusual, something that she would not buy herself, something that would be fun. I racked my brains for weeks until finally inspiration arrived.
Full top of the range roller-blading kit including the skates, helmet, knee pads and elbow pads!! Together it came in an impressive number of large boxes, which I carefully wrapped and ribboned.
Birthday morning and the initial excitement created by the the unusually large number of big boxes gradually gave way to stony silence.
It dawned on my that I had made a mistake, a big one.
I wanted a Cartier bracelet, she said. Thank you anyway.
Anybody want a roller-blading kit, unused, that apparently 'makes you look like fking robocop?'
Full top of the range roller-blading kit including the skates, helmet, knee pads and elbow pads!! Together it came in an impressive number of large boxes, which I carefully wrapped and ribboned.
Birthday morning and the initial excitement created by the the unusually large number of big boxes gradually gave way to stony silence.
It dawned on my that I had made a mistake, a big one.
I wanted a Cartier bracelet, she said. Thank you anyway.
Anybody want a roller-blading kit, unused, that apparently 'makes you look like f
king robocop?'
How ungrateful! Sounds like a great present.I bought my Gran a head massaging device by the name of "orgasmatron" from the Gadget Shop a few years back. To make matters worse the carrier bag was bright pink and had "Gadget Girl" written on the side, with which I had to walk home with.
Needless to say it was swiftly returned and a bottle of whisky took its place.
I tried to be funny one year with the ex.
I purchased a microwave oven but cleverly (or so I thought) placed a very nice ring inside and wrapped up the oven and placed under the tree.
Christmas morning comes and she unwraps her present, goes mental at me for being so thoughtless then storms out of the house, I'm left speechless and laughing on the sofa.
Three hours later she returns and I explain what I had done, it took me all day to convince her I was trying to be funny.
Mental.
I purchased a microwave oven but cleverly (or so I thought) placed a very nice ring inside and wrapped up the oven and placed under the tree.
Christmas morning comes and she unwraps her present, goes mental at me for being so thoughtless then storms out of the house, I'm left speechless and laughing on the sofa.
Three hours later she returns and I explain what I had done, it took me all day to convince her I was trying to be funny.
Mental.
Edited by Pied Piper on Monday 16th November 12:23
Dr Parakitamol took a joke too far and made me a very large neon cock. (when I say made he had a bespoke design created by a neon artist and 'mounted' *snigger* in a perspex display case.
A 4ft neon cock that cannot be displayed anywhere inside or outside the house on the grounds of a) taste and b) the occasional presence of small children.
It's my best thing though. For it's sheer unbelieveable pointlessness. And slightly unusual shape.
Even if it has been hidden in the attic since it was errrr 'presented' to me.
A 4ft neon cock that cannot be displayed anywhere inside or outside the house on the grounds of a) taste and b) the occasional presence of small children.
It's my best thing though. For it's sheer unbelieveable pointlessness. And slightly unusual shape.
Even if it has been hidden in the attic since it was errrr 'presented' to me.
An ex once brought me a "house coat" basically a green tarten fleece, floor length, long sleeves and a zip from neck to waist. I was 21!!!!!!!!!!!!!! It should have been sexy underwear.
One Christmas he also left one present till last, and fished out a tiny box all beautifly wrapped up and I prepared myself to be proposed to....opened the box to discover not an expensive piece of romantic jewelry but a Bug-in-a-box.
Needless to say he got his marching orders fairly sharpish
One Christmas he also left one present till last, and fished out a tiny box all beautifly wrapped up and I prepared myself to be proposed to....opened the box to discover not an expensive piece of romantic jewelry but a Bug-in-a-box.
Needless to say he got his marching orders fairly sharpish
Whilst out Xmas shopping a few years ago I saw a Poker Table, chips etc etc, and thought it looked like a good Xmas present for the house. So I bought it and wrapped it up and put it under tree. I could not put my name on it and give it to myself so I put my ex's name on it.
She came home from work and saw the present and began to get really inquisitive as it was in such a large box. She went on and on guessing what it could be, and I obviously hammed it up, so that by the time she opened it, she was mightily disappointed. She was still angry when on the New Years Eve party we had the following week no-one wanted to play her stupid party games, and played poker til 05:00 in the morning! I now have the poker table!
A mate of mine recently had his birthday. He is the laziest person in the world. He has no hobbies aside from drinking and TV (favourite being the Challenge Channel). His Mrs decided to get him one of these http://www.the-all-in-one-company.co.uk/index.php - he failed to see the funny side, and was quite upset that all she saw of him was that he lays down watching TV all day when not working. However she then went to work, and he tried it on, and is now ordering a second one for himself so when this one is in the wash he has a reserve!
He is 34 years old, and a armed response policeman. His "romper suit" has police cars and 999 badges on it!
She came home from work and saw the present and began to get really inquisitive as it was in such a large box. She went on and on guessing what it could be, and I obviously hammed it up, so that by the time she opened it, she was mightily disappointed. She was still angry when on the New Years Eve party we had the following week no-one wanted to play her stupid party games, and played poker til 05:00 in the morning! I now have the poker table!
A mate of mine recently had his birthday. He is the laziest person in the world. He has no hobbies aside from drinking and TV (favourite being the Challenge Channel). His Mrs decided to get him one of these http://www.the-all-in-one-company.co.uk/index.php - he failed to see the funny side, and was quite upset that all she saw of him was that he lays down watching TV all day when not working. However she then went to work, and he tried it on, and is now ordering a second one for himself so when this one is in the wash he has a reserve!
He is 34 years old, and a armed response policeman. His "romper suit" has police cars and 999 badges on it!
1st mistake I made was when I wrapped up a box with a brick in it...that as it.. big heavy box.... (we were both about 20) proper funny at the time....really REALLy cruel in hindsight... I made up for it in later years, buying her a car, a holiday, some concert tickets, jewellery etc...
Then the year before the divorce started (!), I bought her some really good knives...I just thought that was something every woman.... or indeed anyone who was the predominant kitchen dweller...wanted, they were and still are excellent knives. I was lucky not to find out first hand when she unwrapped them and in the recent divorce...
Then the year before the divorce started (!), I bought her some really good knives...I just thought that was something every woman.... or indeed anyone who was the predominant kitchen dweller...wanted, they were and still are excellent knives. I was lucky not to find out first hand when she unwrapped them and in the recent divorce...
I'll always remember the disasterous idea my dad had when I was much younger. We'd just had a new kitchen fitted and he thought it would be a marvellous idea to buy mum a new food processor and a range of other kitchen appliances and accessories. For Christmas.
There was a great deal of apology and new jewellery in the aftermath. The following year he bought her a new car.
There was a great deal of apology and new jewellery in the aftermath. The following year he bought her a new car.
After being advised that my now sister in law liked all things to do with pigs (not carnally) I bought her a pack of streaky bacon for Christmas. At the time I thought this was comedy gold and would inspire heart attack inducing laughter for everyone there. Unfortunately it induced a silent tumbleweed moment as I had to explain the joke.
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