tupCan't stand mate's wife.......
Discussion
A tough one this. It comes up every year.
Got a mate - we go way back to Uni days. We were never best mates but we get on well and have always kept in touch.
Not that I'm a failure but he is Uber successful. Big job, lots of money but utterly down to earth. He thinks my job is amazing and often says he wishes he'd followed my path.
Over the years we've gone through girl friends. He got married a while back, I am now married.
I never ever liked his last girl friend who is now his wife.
She is thick, loud and stupidly snobbish.
Thick I can be OK with. But not thick who thinks they are bright who challenges you about things loudly. Things she obviuoulsy knows nothing about.
Half-arsed opinions and constant references to their money and the fact that she's joined the golf club.
I bite my tongue. When she told me she knew their local MP I couldn't help but tell her that I've met one USA president at least three UK Prime Ministers etc just to shut her up.
She challenged me on that until her hubby chipped in to confirm it all and quielty persuade her to wind her neck in.
She goes on and on about flying business class. I fly it at times.
Its just all silly and childish and I so want to give her a verbal ragging next time we meet.
It doesn't help that she is spectacularly ugly. I really mean that. She's also got one of those mouth breathign snotty nose voices and a whining essex (Posh ish) accent.
To be fair though, she's raised two great kids with him so she can't be all bad.
But my wife says no. I would be the end of the friendship.
Every year he gets in touch to meet up. I've dodged it in the past. I even dodged his wedding.
I know though he's going to be on email soon looking for an excruciatingly horrible night in a restaurant before Christmas.
What woudl you do?
Got a mate - we go way back to Uni days. We were never best mates but we get on well and have always kept in touch.
Not that I'm a failure but he is Uber successful. Big job, lots of money but utterly down to earth. He thinks my job is amazing and often says he wishes he'd followed my path.
Over the years we've gone through girl friends. He got married a while back, I am now married.
I never ever liked his last girl friend who is now his wife.
She is thick, loud and stupidly snobbish.
Thick I can be OK with. But not thick who thinks they are bright who challenges you about things loudly. Things she obviuoulsy knows nothing about.
Half-arsed opinions and constant references to their money and the fact that she's joined the golf club.
I bite my tongue. When she told me she knew their local MP I couldn't help but tell her that I've met one USA president at least three UK Prime Ministers etc just to shut her up.
She challenged me on that until her hubby chipped in to confirm it all and quielty persuade her to wind her neck in.
She goes on and on about flying business class. I fly it at times.
Its just all silly and childish and I so want to give her a verbal ragging next time we meet.
It doesn't help that she is spectacularly ugly. I really mean that. She's also got one of those mouth breathign snotty nose voices and a whining essex (Posh ish) accent.
To be fair though, she's raised two great kids with him so she can't be all bad.
But my wife says no. I would be the end of the friendship.
Every year he gets in touch to meet up. I've dodged it in the past. I even dodged his wedding.
I know though he's going to be on email soon looking for an excruciatingly horrible night in a restaurant before Christmas.
What woudl you do?
AnApproach said:
Mate, it's a personality thing. Me and your wife happen to be two characters that can't get on. That happens sometimes. It doesn't mean she's a bad person - just that I can't get on with her.
Why don't we just meet up in the pub for a beer or two and a catch-up.
Life is too short to bother with people you hate. Make it clear you are being an adult about it. Currently you are engaging in childish tit-for-tat arguments and that can't be nice for either of you. Put a stop to it now. If you can't get on with her - then don't.Why don't we just meet up in the pub for a beer or two and a catch-up.
wildcat45 said:
The lads night out is a good one.
Its just he comes over to where I live specifically to see us. A big trip, wife kids and the like. They book hotels etc.
He's one of those considerate fellas that gives us loads of dates to choose from, so there is no way of getting out of it.
In that case, is there something you fancy doing that the wives/kids might not be interested in? (No, not coke and hookers) Its just he comes over to where I live specifically to see us. A big trip, wife kids and the like. They book hotels etc.
He's one of those considerate fellas that gives us loads of dates to choose from, so there is no way of getting out of it.
Motor racing excursion? Karting? Shooting weekend?
Get some other mates involved too. Take the organisation away from him and sort out a neutral ground and an activity that will have his wife turning her nose up.
Treat her as a game. Winding her up and proving her stupid without making it obvious. For example, when challenged respond with questions - "why do you think that" etc. She'll soon tire of challenging you. It's fun not rising to the bait as well - she obviously enjoys a good argument so that will piss her off.
When she mentions the golf club or business class just reply with "that sounds nice" or something else non-descript and non-challenging.
Of course she'll spend the next 11 months telling your mate you are a
, so you might not see him again either.
When she mentions the golf club or business class just reply with "that sounds nice" or something else non-descript and non-challenging.
Of course she'll spend the next 11 months telling your mate you are a
, so you might not see him again either.Do you work in the Diplomatic corp?
Be the bigger person, sounds like she is a little insecure and possibly intimidated by meeting one of his old friends.
Sure she makes inappropriate comments. But the real issue is that you feel she is preventing you from talking to your mate about things that you want to.
Someone in my family does this, feels up the pauses in coversation with banal gossippy f
kwittery, that prevents meaningful conversations from getting a look in. Don't take it personally, don't bite back - laugh about it afterwards.
She may come across as a bit of a tt and a snob, but I'd pretty much guarantee that her attitude is a defence mechanism against her very deep-seated unsecurity.
If you can understand what is causing that insecurity, you can either use it to help improve the situation, or prey on it in a merciless fashion until she realises you've got the measure of her...
Your choice...
t and a snob, but I'd pretty much guarantee that her attitude is a defence mechanism against her very deep-seated unsecurity.If you can understand what is causing that insecurity, you can either use it to help improve the situation, or prey on it in a merciless fashion until she realises you've got the measure of her...
Your choice...
wildcat45 said:
I bite my tongue. When she told me she knew their local MP I couldn't help but tell her that I've met one USA president at least three UK Prime Ministers etc just to shut her up.
She challenged me on that until her hubby chipped in to confirm it all and quielty persuade her to wind her neck in.
She goes on and on about flying business class. I fly it at times.
Its just all silly and childish and I so want to give her a verbal ragging next time we meet.
First bit in bold is what you should keep doing unless you want to be branded as the second bit. He's your friend. By all means politely make him aware of your feelings, but if you tear a strip off her then you will put him in an impossible position and I bet you will live to regret it.She challenged me on that until her hubby chipped in to confirm it all and quielty persuade her to wind her neck in.
She goes on and on about flying business class. I fly it at times.
Its just all silly and childish and I so want to give her a verbal ragging next time we meet.
Gassing Station | The Lounge | Top of Page | What's New | My Stuff