Maintenence - What is a reasonable amount to pay?
Discussion
The ex and I split up near as damn it 3 years ago. We've stayed good friends and everything is very amicable, so we have sorted out the finances between ourselves. She's staying in the 'marital' home with the kids, but as she stayed at home and worked to help bring the kids up, she earns very little and can't afford to pay the mortgage herself.
I don't want to see them have to move out onto a council estate, so I'm paying the mortgage and a bit extra to keep them there while I stay at my mums. This obviously isn't ideal, I'd love my own place, but it works for now and the girls have somewhere to sleep when they stop with me. The ex is going to evening classes to go towards a business degree to help her get a decently paid job to pay for the house herself, which can't come soon enough!
Is there a % of your monthly salary that you should give, how would you work it out?
Cheers.
I don't want to see them have to move out onto a council estate, so I'm paying the mortgage and a bit extra to keep them there while I stay at my mums. This obviously isn't ideal, I'd love my own place, but it works for now and the girls have somewhere to sleep when they stop with me. The ex is going to evening classes to go towards a business degree to help her get a decently paid job to pay for the house herself, which can't come soon enough!
Is there a % of your monthly salary that you should give, how would you work it out?
Cheers.
Justayellowbadge said:
Child maintenance, as per CSA guidelines, is 15% of your net for 1 child, 20% for 2 and 25% for 3..
And is reduced by 1/7th for each night of a week they stay with you, on average. The CSA website has a calculatorJustayellowbadge said:
Spousal maintenance is based on need.
Spousal maintenance is based on need but ability to pay is taken into account. You are entitled to a life too. Hi mate I agree with the above. I left mine ten years ago. I agreed a figure of 250 per month which was to let her stay in the house, so the kids didnt have to move etc.
I paid this for about 3 years then looked at the CSA website calculator. I should have been paying about 150 a month.
I couldn't afford to move into my own place until id sorted it and reduced the payment.
She still chases for money increases, but she knows how much i support our son and she doesnt get any more.
You need to look after number 1 at all times, the life you can give your kids will be much better if you have your own place and dont live at your mums.
It makes it easier when you start dating again too
good luck with it mate, it takes time but does get easier.
I paid this for about 3 years then looked at the CSA website calculator. I should have been paying about 150 a month.
I couldn't afford to move into my own place until id sorted it and reduced the payment.
She still chases for money increases, but she knows how much i support our son and she doesnt get any more.
You need to look after number 1 at all times, the life you can give your kids will be much better if you have your own place and dont live at your mums.
It makes it easier when you start dating again too
good luck with it mate, it takes time but does get easier.
Got a decent relationship/friendship going on with the mother of mine, so no CSA involved at all.
It is obviously all salary based, but I give her £300 a month. Got a friend in a similar situation, although he earns less than me, he pays his ex £150 and her mobile phone bill (so £180ish I guess).
Edit to add: Not sure if this is 'normal' or not, just a figure we plucked out of the air. It pays for the child minder (as she's gone back to work part time) and a few other bits.
It is obviously all salary based, but I give her £300 a month. Got a friend in a similar situation, although he earns less than me, he pays his ex £150 and her mobile phone bill (so £180ish I guess).
Edit to add: Not sure if this is 'normal' or not, just a figure we plucked out of the air. It pays for the child minder (as she's gone back to work part time) and a few other bits.
Edited by _Dan_ on Sunday 29th November 00:14
Cara Van Man said:
Penny-lope said:
We didn't go through CSA either....my ex has wee man every second weekend, plus the odd day here and there. And if poss half the school hoildays....£100 a month.
This goes up ever year, to match his pay rise
This goes up ever year, to match his pay rise
£100 a month? Does he work in McDonalds as a cleaner?Cara Van Man said:
Penny-lope said:
We didn't go through CSA either....my ex has wee man every second weekend, plus the odd day here and there. And if poss half the school hoildays....£100 a month.
This goes up ever year, to match his pay rise
This goes up ever year, to match his pay rise
£100 a month? Does he work in McDonalds as a cleaner?
Nope he actually works for the local council, education.....he's one of those geezers that used to wear a long brown cloak, and shout at you if you had a fag behind the bike shed.
If we went through CSA, I would be getting nearer £160 month.
Penny-lope said:
Cara Van Man said:
Penny-lope said:
We didn't go through CSA either....my ex has wee man every second weekend, plus the odd day here and there. And if poss half the school hoildays....£100 a month.
This goes up ever year, to match his pay rise
This goes up ever year, to match his pay rise
£100 a month? Does he work in McDonalds as a cleaner?Nope he actually works for the local council, education.....he's one of those geezers that used to wear a long brown cloak, and shout at you if you had a fag behind the bike shed.
If we went through CSA, I would be getting nearer £160 month.
Penny-lope said:
Nope he actually works for the local council, education.....he's one of those geezers that used to wear a long brown cloak, and shout at you if you had a fag behind the bike shed.
I should hope so too.There's common rooms for that sort of thing, you can always banish the little oiks outside afterwards.
Cara Van Man said:
Penny-lope said:
Cara Van Man said:
Penny-lope said:
We didn't go through CSA either....my ex has wee man every second weekend, plus the odd day here and there. And if poss half the school hoildays....£100 a month.
This goes up ever year, to match his pay rise
This goes up ever year, to match his pay rise
£100 a month? Does he work in McDonalds as a cleaner?Nope he actually works for the local council, education.....he's one of those geezers that used to wear a long brown cloak, and shout at you if you had a fag behind the bike shed.
If we went through CSA, I would be getting nearer £160 month.
It took 6 months to get anything from my ex....he honestly didn't see why he should pay, since I got half the house minus the £30k he'd got from his fathers will (even though I'd always paid half the mortgage, and it was in both our names)
But all sorted now, well kinda. And I hope in the future, if I ever needed help with dosh, he would help (then again, I am a dreamer)
big dub said:
Penny-lope said:
We didn't go through CSA either....my ex has wee man every second weekend, plus the odd day here and there. And if poss half the school hoildays....£100 a month.
This goes up ever year, to match his pay rise
Try 8x that This goes up ever year, to match his pay rise
The sooner she gets a full-time job the better!
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