Adopting an adult - can you do it?
Discussion
Strange one this. My grandparents have been to all intents and purposes, my parents all my life. I'm due to get married next year and really want my dad's (grandfather) name on my marriage certificate but have been told by a registrar that it would be virtually impossible due to do so.
Would a mother's name also appear on the certificate and if so how best to get rid of it?
Leaving it blank would be just as bad and I'm not about to say I don't know who my father is. As my dad has brought me up, I feel that it is right that he is on the certificate as just that, my dad.
Would being adopted legally (rather than a care and control order) solve this?
Just to add to the confusion, at 16 I paid a solicitor to change my surname to my grandparents name (at 5 I had decided to take on their name but couldn't do so legally) He was a commissioner of oaths but did not send off the documents to be filed or recorded or whatever it is so I'm only Littlegreenfairy, formally known as.... which to be honest riles me a little. So that needs sorting out somehow, only I'm not sure how.
I want to be my parents child legally. I feel that getting married is such an important move to making my own family, that I want the little family that I have and the people who have loved and cared for me to be recognised. For the certificate to have my dads name on, for me to have their surname properly, and if a mothers name is on it, to have that too. Is that just too much to ask? It'd be the single document that shows my family as it actually is and is a massive deal for me.
Just to clear any confusion, I call my grandfather, dad.
My life just gets more and more fecking complicated.
Would a mother's name also appear on the certificate and if so how best to get rid of it?
Leaving it blank would be just as bad and I'm not about to say I don't know who my father is. As my dad has brought me up, I feel that it is right that he is on the certificate as just that, my dad.
Would being adopted legally (rather than a care and control order) solve this?
Just to add to the confusion, at 16 I paid a solicitor to change my surname to my grandparents name (at 5 I had decided to take on their name but couldn't do so legally) He was a commissioner of oaths but did not send off the documents to be filed or recorded or whatever it is so I'm only Littlegreenfairy, formally known as.... which to be honest riles me a little. So that needs sorting out somehow, only I'm not sure how.
I want to be my parents child legally. I feel that getting married is such an important move to making my own family, that I want the little family that I have and the people who have loved and cared for me to be recognised. For the certificate to have my dads name on, for me to have their surname properly, and if a mothers name is on it, to have that too. Is that just too much to ask? It'd be the single document that shows my family as it actually is and is a massive deal for me.
Just to clear any confusion, I call my grandfather, dad.
My life just gets more and more fecking complicated.
littlegreenfairy said:
Strange one this. My grandparents have been to all intents and purposes, my parents all my life. I'm due to get married next year and really want my dad's (grandfather) name on my marriage certificate but have been told by a registrar that it would be virtually impossible due to do so.
Are they saying that it must be your biological parents name on the certificate? If so, can they provide you with case law which so states?I think the Registrar is probably right BUT do you know what? The certificate is only a piece of papers, it doesn't reflect the care and love between you and your mum and dad (your grandparents) and it doesn't change anything.
I really would suggest you just ignore it and the change of name issue, move on, get married and treasure the family that you have, whatever their names and relationships. Don't give your biological parents the ability to screw you up, it doesn't sound like they deserve it, your grandparents have been there for you and that's what matters.
I really would suggest you just ignore it and the change of name issue, move on, get married and treasure the family that you have, whatever their names and relationships. Don't give your biological parents the ability to screw you up, it doesn't sound like they deserve it, your grandparents have been there for you and that's what matters.
Christ, how old are you ?
If they don't know how much they mean to you just tell them, if you're trying to stick two fingers up at the biologicals just do it.
Think of your other half and crack on with the wedding, it's far more important than being a drama queen.
Sorry if that sounds a bit harsh, but you're sounding a bit 'LOOK AT ME !!' Lots of people come from broken homes now, you're not special. Save the people who have to ar$e about with the paperwork the time to do something worth while.
I'm assuming he can walk you down the aisle without messing about with this ?
If they don't know how much they mean to you just tell them, if you're trying to stick two fingers up at the biologicals just do it.
Think of your other half and crack on with the wedding, it's far more important than being a drama queen.
Sorry if that sounds a bit harsh, but you're sounding a bit 'LOOK AT ME !!' Lots of people come from broken homes now, you're not special. Save the people who have to ar$e about with the paperwork the time to do something worth while.
I'm assuming he can walk you down the aisle without messing about with this ?
The Moose said:
I'm going to go out on a limb here - I recon your misses doesn't know that 'dad' isn't your real dad and you don't want to explain it all to her??
I'm not doubting the rest of your post.
Cheers
The Moose
She's a she...I'm not doubting the rest of your post.
Cheers
The Moose
Agreed though - it's a bit all WTF?!
Cheers
Mafioso
Edited by Mafioso on Sunday 29th November 21:02
WTF indeed.Mafioso said:
The Moose said:
I'm going to go out on a limb here - I recon your misses doesn't know that 'dad' isn't your real dad and you don't want to explain it all to her??
I'm not doubting the rest of your post.
Cheers
The Moose
She's a she...I'm not doubting the rest of your post.
Cheers
The Moose
Agreed though - it's a bit all WTF?!
Cheers
Mafioso
Edited by Mafioso on Sunday 29th November 21:02
Just swap the sexes over in my post ;-).
Cheers
The Moose
I think I see where you are coming from though you don't make it easy with dad/grandad in the OP.
Your grandparents could have adopted you when you were a minor, but as adoption is about being someone's guardian it effectively ends in the legal meaning when you become an adult.
As for changing your name I think you can do this by deed poll, though I have no idea how you would go about doing this other than start with Google.
Your grandparents could have adopted you when you were a minor, but as adoption is about being someone's guardian it effectively ends in the legal meaning when you become an adult.
As for changing your name I think you can do this by deed poll, though I have no idea how you would go about doing this other than start with Google.
SteveNorthEast said:
I am not sure what all that means.
Is it a cousin you are marrying?
No, it's all explained in this helpful videoIs it a cousin you are marrying?
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