I forgot something this morning

[BoRED S2upid]

Food.

And Money.

How can I eat for free until 6pm?.

[ShadownINja]

Borrow from friends/colleagues, obviously.

[evenflow]

Set a trap to catch a squirrel, cadge a light off a smoker at your work and make a small barbeque on your desk.
Paperclips bent together make an excellent wire grill rack to place your squirrel on.

[58warren]

Free samples of cheese and meat at the deli counter in the local supermarket?

[BoRED S2upid]

evenflow said:

Set a trap to catch a squirrel, cadge a light off a smoker at your work and make a small barbeque on your desk.
Paperclips bent together make an excellent wire grill rack to place your squirrel on.

How very Ray Mears of you. Will give this a go at lunch. Bear Grills wouldn't bother cooking it though.

[Kermit power]

BoRED S2upid said:

evenflow said:

Set a trap to catch a squirrel, cadge a light off a smoker at your work and make a small barbeque on your desk.
Paperclips bent together make an excellent wire grill rack to place your squirrel on.

How very Ray Mears of you. Will give this a go at lunch. Bear Grills wouldn't bother cooking it though.

Bear Grills are impractical in the typical modern office. Stick to squirrel grills as evenflow suggested.

[Robatr0n]

Kermit power said:

BoRED S2upid said:

evenflow said:

Set a trap to catch a squirrel, cadge a light off a smoker at your work and make a small barbeque on your desk.
Paperclips bent together make an excellent wire grill rack to place your squirrel on.

How very Ray Mears of you. Will give this a go at lunch. Bear Grills wouldn't bother cooking it though.

Bear Grills are impractical in the typical modern office. Stick to squirrel grills as evenflow suggested.

Or you could sit next to the fussy bloke so that when he complains about his food and rejects it you can insist on eating the food on his behalf, eh Chris?

[M3CHA-MONK3Y]

Simple:

Collect roughly 50-60 elastic bands.

Cut each one and tie them together, end to end.

Grab a paper clip and bend it into a 'J' shape.

Attach to elastic band rope.

Set-up a trade route between yourself and a co-worker.

Negotiate and eventually trade your brand new Audi S4 for a half eaten can of sardines.

Place sardines on end of elastic band fishing line and hang from window.

Wait an hour then retract line and restrain freshly caught cat.

Swiftly club cat to death using telephone handset, brain matter on your desk usually indicates an efficent kill.

Using a biro and ruler, remove eyes, teeth and claws.

Cut power cable to computer and strip end of cable. (Be sure to switch off at plug for safety)

Place live and negative on cat and hold for 3-4 minutes, if the cat smokes and bursts into flames, it's probably cooked.

When cooked, cover in lighter fluid and ignite for 20 seconds to remove hair and provide a crispy finish.

Serve with Blue Tac.

Enjoy.

Edited by M3CHA-MONK3Y on Monday 14th December 09:30

[AndrewW-G]

If you have a local sandwich shop / deli etc that you use, why not ask if you can have credit for the day?

[charliedaker]

M3CHA-MONK3Y said:

Simple:

Collect roughly 50-60 elastic bands.

Cut each one and tie them together, end to end.

Grab a paper clip and bend it into a 'J' shape.

Attach to elastic band rope.

Set-up a trade route between yourself and a co-worker.

Negotiate and eventually trade your brand new Audi S4 for a half eaten can of sardines.

Place sardines on end of elastic band fishing line and hang from window.

Wait an hour then retract line and restrain freshly caught cat.

Swiftly club cat to death using telephone handset, brain matter on your desk usually indicates an efficent kill.

Using a biro and ruler, remove eyes, teeth and claws.

Cut power cable to computer and stripped end of cable. (Be sure to switch off at plug for safety)

Place live and negative on cat and hold for 3-4 minutes, if the cat smokes and bursts into flames, it's probably cooked.

When cooked, cover in lighter fluid and ignite for 20 seconds to remove hair and provided a crispy finish.

Serve with Blue Tac.

Do this.

And post pictures.

[Jackpot]

Copy this guy, he started with a red paper clip, he started trading it for bigger and better things, in the end he traded it for a house.

http://oneredpaperclip.blogspot.com/2005/07/one-re...

[AB]

Could be worse, I've turned up at work with no money or food, and with no petrol to get home.

Nightmare.

[evenflow]

BoRED S2upid said:

evenflow said:

Set a trap to catch a squirrel, cadge a light off a smoker at your work and make a small barbeque on your desk.
Paperclips bent together make an excellent wire grill rack to place your squirrel on.

How very Ray Mears of you. Will give this a go at lunch. Bear Grills wouldn't bother cooking it though.

Alternatively, befriend a tramp, lure him into an alleyway and joint him.
Word of warning: do not eat the liver. Like a polar bear's, it will be poisonous.

[bazking69]

Market. I had enough free cheese, crackers and pickles to sort me out for 2 days the other week! I did end up buying loads in all fairness so his generosity worked.

[james_tigerwoods]

If it was me, I'd wait until about 1320 and go and try to charm the lady that runs the canteen to give me something free.....

[Penny-lope]

58warren said:

Free samples of cheese and meat at the deli counter in the local supermarket?

At this time of year, when everyone is coughing and sneezing

Just put on the puppy eyes, someone will feed you

[Fer]

james_tigerwoods said:

If it was me, I'd wait until about 1320 and go and try to charm the lady that runs the canteen to give me something free.....

But you could still not forget the Ambiwlans thread. (Are the 9 days up yet?)

[bob1179]

You could flog your button to some greasy punter for some cold hard cash?

[jas xjr]

is there a sikh temple nearby? they off free food to all with no obligation at all

[Healey73]

I've done this before, the petty cash tin was my best friend on that day.