Just found out my neighbour died
Discussion
We live next door to an elderly couple, approx in their late '70's. I just found out today the wife (his, not mine) passed away a few days ago. We've only lived her for 6 months so we only know them on a fairly basic level.
I feel I should nip over and say something, offer to help him out etc - do I - and potentially have the poor old boy collapse in a flood of tears in front of me, and face the potential wrath of his family - or do I leave it, and hope his family look out for him?
I feel really bad he's lost his wife this close to Christmas, and he's sitting in his house on his tod.
I feel I should nip over and say something, offer to help him out etc - do I - and potentially have the poor old boy collapse in a flood of tears in front of me, and face the potential wrath of his family - or do I leave it, and hope his family look out for him?
I feel really bad he's lost his wife this close to Christmas, and he's sitting in his house on his tod.
He'd probably just be happy for someone to be around, a lot of old people haven't lived alone for so long when their partner dies cooking/washing etc tends to go out the window.
When an ex-boss of mine got alzheimers me and another colleague took it upon ourselves to drop in once a week or so to see his wife and help her go shopping,mow the garden and just be someone to talk to, now he's been gone a year she says it helped so much to begin with.
When an ex-boss of mine got alzheimers me and another colleague took it upon ourselves to drop in once a week or so to see his wife and help her go shopping,mow the garden and just be someone to talk to, now he's been gone a year she says it helped so much to begin with.
Good man 
Pop over and say how sad you are to hear his news and let him know where you are if he needs a hand.
I don't know how you deal with it but the practical things he might not be good at are shopping (when my step-mother f
ked off (left, not died), my Dad had never been to a supermarket, had never got money out of a cashpoint and had no idea how to sort his washing or use a washing machine.
This chap may be much more hands on but he might be glad of some help but you may struggle to get him to admit what he is struggling with.
Pop over and say how sad you are to hear his news and let him know where you are if he needs a hand. I don't know how you deal with it but the practical things he might not be good at are shopping (when my step-mother f
ked off (left, not died), my Dad had never been to a supermarket, had never got money out of a cashpoint and had no idea how to sort his washing or use a washing machine. This chap may be much more hands on but he might be glad of some help but you may struggle to get him to admit what he is struggling with.
Piglet said:
the practical things he might not be good at are shopping
More importantly, if he doesn't have any family he's facing Christmas Day alone. The first Christmas after bereavement is pretty horrible.What you suggest to him is up to you but - one day it might be you in that situation. Invite him over for tea and buns - he can always say no, but at least you offered.
Invite the old boy round for a cuppa- may be easier for him to talk to a relative stranger than a family member?
The worst he can say is no.
May be a stty hour for you as it may be a heavy conversation.
This will be offset by the fact that at the right time, you did the precisely right thing.
End of
The worst he can say is no.
May be a s
tty hour for you as it may be a heavy conversation.This will be offset by the fact that at the right time, you did the precisely right thing.
End of
Cheers for the pointers -
Just got back after being over there for an hour. He'd been with his wife for 54 years, she died of a stroke two days after they got back from holiday.
He was still upset, and clearly still dealing with it as he kept referring to 'we', as in 'we've got family living in blah'. Fortunately, he's got three kids living within a 15 mile radius, but doesn't want to trouble them as he feels they are busy with their own families and work.
I had a good chat with him, offered to help if he felt we could - the old boy has diabetes and has to get two buses to go to a pharmacy 3 miles away, once to give his prescription in, and again two days later to collect it! I'll take care of that, if he doesnt mind riding shotgun in a rattley old 325i with a -60mm drop...!
Just got back after being over there for an hour. He'd been with his wife for 54 years, she died of a stroke two days after they got back from holiday.
He was still upset, and clearly still dealing with it as he kept referring to 'we', as in 'we've got family living in blah'. Fortunately, he's got three kids living within a 15 mile radius, but doesn't want to trouble them as he feels they are busy with their own families and work.
I had a good chat with him, offered to help if he felt we could - the old boy has diabetes and has to get two buses to go to a pharmacy 3 miles away, once to give his prescription in, and again two days later to collect it! I'll take care of that, if he doesnt mind riding shotgun in a rattley old 325i with a -60mm drop...!
80quattro said:
Cheers for the pointers -
Just got back after being over there for an hour. He'd been with his wife for 54 years, she died of a stroke two days after they got back from holiday.
He was still upset, and clearly still dealing with it as he kept referring to 'we', as in 'we've got family living in blah'. Fortunately, he's got three kids living within a 15 mile radius, but doesn't want to trouble them as he feels they are busy with their own families and work.
I had a good chat with him, offered to help if he felt we could - the old boy has diabetes and has to get two buses to go to a pharmacy 3 miles away, once to give his prescription in, and again two days later to collect it! I'll take care of that, if he doesnt mind riding shotgun in a rattley old 325i with a -60mm drop...!
nice one. He'll think a lot of you for doing this and maybe the karma will go around.Just got back after being over there for an hour. He'd been with his wife for 54 years, she died of a stroke two days after they got back from holiday.
He was still upset, and clearly still dealing with it as he kept referring to 'we', as in 'we've got family living in blah'. Fortunately, he's got three kids living within a 15 mile radius, but doesn't want to trouble them as he feels they are busy with their own families and work.
I had a good chat with him, offered to help if he felt we could - the old boy has diabetes and has to get two buses to go to a pharmacy 3 miles away, once to give his prescription in, and again two days later to collect it! I'll take care of that, if he doesnt mind riding shotgun in a rattley old 325i with a -60mm drop...!
80quattro said:
Cheers for the pointers -
Just got back after being over there for an hour. He'd been with his wife for 54 years, she died of a stroke two days after they got back from holiday.
He was still upset, and clearly still dealing with it as he kept referring to 'we', as in 'we've got family living in blah'. Fortunately, he's got three kids living within a 15 mile radius, but doesn't want to trouble them as he feels they are busy with their own families and work.
I had a good chat with him, offered to help if he felt we could - the old boy has diabetes and has to get two buses to go to a pharmacy 3 miles away, once to give his prescription in, and again two days later to collect it! I'll take care of that, if he doesnt mind riding shotgun in a rattley old 325i with a -60mm drop...!
Well done mate, you're just being a good,decent bloke and I'm sure that in this sad time the Old boy next door just needs a bit of support. Nice one....Just got back after being over there for an hour. He'd been with his wife for 54 years, she died of a stroke two days after they got back from holiday.
He was still upset, and clearly still dealing with it as he kept referring to 'we', as in 'we've got family living in blah'. Fortunately, he's got three kids living within a 15 mile radius, but doesn't want to trouble them as he feels they are busy with their own families and work.
I had a good chat with him, offered to help if he felt we could - the old boy has diabetes and has to get two buses to go to a pharmacy 3 miles away, once to give his prescription in, and again two days later to collect it! I'll take care of that, if he doesnt mind riding shotgun in a rattley old 325i with a -60mm drop...!
Dominic H said:
80quattro said:
Cheers for the pointers -
Just got back after being over there for an hour. He'd been with his wife for 54 years, she died of a stroke two days after they got back from holiday.
He was still upset, and clearly still dealing with it as he kept referring to 'we', as in 'we've got family living in blah'. Fortunately, he's got three kids living within a 15 mile radius, but doesn't want to trouble them as he feels they are busy with their own families and work.
I had a good chat with him, offered to help if he felt we could - the old boy has diabetes and has to get two buses to go to a pharmacy 3 miles away, once to give his prescription in, and again two days later to collect it! I'll take care of that, if he doesnt mind riding shotgun in a rattley old 325i with a -60mm drop...!
Well done mate, you're just being a good,decent bloke and I'm sure that in this sad time the Old boy next door just needs a bit of support. Nice one....Just got back after being over there for an hour. He'd been with his wife for 54 years, she died of a stroke two days after they got back from holiday.
He was still upset, and clearly still dealing with it as he kept referring to 'we', as in 'we've got family living in blah'. Fortunately, he's got three kids living within a 15 mile radius, but doesn't want to trouble them as he feels they are busy with their own families and work.
I had a good chat with him, offered to help if he felt we could - the old boy has diabetes and has to get two buses to go to a pharmacy 3 miles away, once to give his prescription in, and again two days later to collect it! I'll take care of that, if he doesnt mind riding shotgun in a rattley old 325i with a -60mm drop...!
We have elderly neighbours. Over a yr ago her husband passed away after struggling with Parkinsons, sadly I found out by accident as I went round to ask after him as I knew he'd gone to hospital a few days before but I thought he was home again, unfortunately he hadn't pulled through I had a cup of tea and a chat with her.
I do pop round every now and then but her family visit regularly.
In Feb when we had the snow on one day I couldn't get to work. I noticed by 2pm ish that her gate was shut (as usual) but no footprints so obviously no visitors so I popped round to ck she was warm had the basics etc.
My hubby pops round to her as well.
Our other elderly neighbour we do not have so much to do with however she pops round herself almost daily to the other neighbour so I know things would be noticed very quickly if anything was wrong.
It's good to be aware of yr neighbours so well done to you for the effort.
I do pop round every now and then but her family visit regularly.
In Feb when we had the snow on one day I couldn't get to work. I noticed by 2pm ish that her gate was shut (as usual) but no footprints so obviously no visitors so I popped round to ck she was warm had the basics etc.
My hubby pops round to her as well.
Our other elderly neighbour we do not have so much to do with however she pops round herself almost daily to the other neighbour so I know things would be noticed very quickly if anything was wrong.
It's good to be aware of yr neighbours so well done to you for the effort.
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