Job Adverts- the biggest load of ******* they can think of?

[Tyre_Tread]

I read this and thought 'Are they really serious?'

I just love the line about applicants coming from a top 20 University followed by 'equilivant' and the fact that even the heading isn't spaced properly. Do people actually read these ads and identify their own abilities with them or are the just looking for the people with the biggest egos?

Strategy Manager
Northamptonor London
Circa £43,000-50,000

As a Strategy Manager, you will join a small team of 10 specialists and you'll support the development and optimisation of our global operating platform. We'll look to you to provide subject matter expertise and to generate strategic insights based on the collation, analysis and synthesis of business data and intelligence. Your role involves defining and driving our operations roadmap within the context of a global marketplace, so you'll need to look at geo-sensitive, economic, regulatory and commercial factors. As a Strategy Manager, you can also expect to shape our global technology architecture, platform and channel strategies, engage in our global M&A agenda and provide leadership amongst the stakeholder community.

What you will need?
• You will have a good understanding of commercial and financial management and you'll have experience of using your expertise to solve global strategic issues

• You have the confidence and credibility to challenge conventional thinking at the most senior levels - and to bring key decision makers round to your way of thinking.

• You will have outstanding stakeholder management skills

• Ideally you will be working in a similar role and it could be that you're working in a consultancy now, implementing strategies and influencing people from the top down.

• You will ideally have a degree from a Top 20 University and an MBA or equilivant


Innovation in your career
As a leader of change, ********** is dedicated to thinking ahead and making payments simpler for our customers. Innovative, vibrant and always focused on the future, our working environment provides the very best of everything. A recent re-brand reflects our dynamic new direction, and has created unprecedented levels of enthusiasm amongst our people.

• ********:

From Europe to the USA, and from Africa and the Middle East to the Far East, over 23 million ********** customers enjoy the benefits of our innovative approach to business. Dedicated to success, our strong international growth has laid the foundation for an exciting future where we truly drive solutions that make payments simpler for all of our customers.


What you will get in return?
With a highly competitive salary and an attractive pension package, you'll enjoy a great range of benefits at **********. Private healthcare and above average holiday entitlements are standard, and we'll match your career aspirations to superb training and development opportunities.

[Doobs too]

The sad thing is that someone will be paid £43k - £50K to perpetuate this BS.

[singlecoil]

When I read stuff like this I wonder whether they are trying to conceal some kind of selling role. Could the "You will have outstanding stakeholder management skills" perhaps be particularly relevant?

[essayer]

I get a few like this:

Location: LONDON, ENGLAND
Blurb: ....The position is in Reading, Berkshire, with the office about 6 minutes walk from Reading station. That makes it an easy commute from London Paddington (about 30 minutes travel time, with fast trains every 15-20 minutes)....

Does that make Slough and Maidenhead in London too?

[RichBurley]

Yes, someone is really [sarcasm]going to get an MBA at many years work and expense, to get a job on £42k, near London. It gets funnier!

[dougc]

essayer said:

I get a few like this:

Location: LONDON, ENGLAND
Blurb: ....The position is in Reading, Berkshire, with the office about 6 minutes walk from Reading station. That makes it an easy commute from London Paddington (about 30 minutes travel time, with fast trains every 15-20 minutes)....

Does that make Slough and Maidenhead in London too?

I got one like this today too

Location : London
Blah Blah Blah Blah Really good job Blah Blah Blah etc

Actual Location : Egham

[Dupont666]

I get a refused a job due to not having a red brick degree cos I went to fick uni innit... went down 2 interviews before they deicided to release that nugget of info.

Yet same company asked me to come in for a senior job managing the above job applicant (I didnt apply a recruiter gave it to them), I attended 2 interviews (one on the phone) and then got bored and started to grill them about why they are so elitest with degrees and why I had got through to this stage despite not having a red brick degree, they said that the job didnt need that, thought Oh st got rumbled and blew the interview, so what the hell... Damn my hungover brain at the time, so ripped into them about they shouldnt be so elitest for such a junior job

A bit shell shocked they sat there and said nothing, I stood up and walked out, as I was opening the door, they asked why I was wasting their time if I had no intention of wanting the job, I just told them that I want them to see what it felt like with wasted time... then off to the pub I went.

I shouldnt have done it but I was hungover and had had enough, besides who wants to work for the TV company that is directly above you...

Tossers!!

I still get recruiters asking me about 25-30k amazing JAVA/C# jobs that you need to know 6/7 computing languages and its an amazing place to work for... This despite the settings saying will not get out of bed and piss on you for less than 35k and if taking the piss with desired skills add another 10k on top.

If I feeling evil I go through the whole process and they ask my skills, say Im perfect and would I be interested and then they kiss butt some more and then they get to my current salary and I tell them £XXX per day... they then shut up and I ask them why if it plainly states my desired/will not quit current job unless it is at least £XXk do they come and ring me up several times a day offering me ste... Think Im struck off their recruitment site now.. its H"£$S if you are wondering...

Some people are chancers and some are absolute fking idiots....

[jvr]

Gordon brown need not apply then..
P